A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly
speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting
nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water
glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."
So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the
beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.
He proceeded to talk up a storm.
Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following
note on the door:
1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ***.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as
daddy, junior and the spook.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the sh*t out of him.
2007-12-07
18:03:20
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23 answers
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asked by
Anonymous
in
Jokes & Riddles