A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly
speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting
nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water
glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."
So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the
beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.
He proceeded to talk up a storm.
Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following
note on the door:
1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ***.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as
daddy, junior and the spook.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the sh*t out of him.
2007-12-07 18:03:20 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey,
don't say he was stoned off his a*s.
10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take
this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Bite
me"
12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry, "
13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub
thanks for the grub, yeah God.
14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at
St.Peter's, not a peter pulling contest at St.Taffy's.
2007-12-07 18:03:36 · update #1
Lol Panos I am spitting Vodka and damm feathers tonight ,here have a star.xxAnd forgive for beieng rude tonight some people rub me up the wrong side.,here have a star ok?xxx
2007-12-08 12:11:31 · answer #1 · answered by Wonderstar 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mix 1/2 peach vodka with 1/2 club soda and add a sprig of mint.
2016-04-08 01:12:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahaha brilliant
got to be a contender 4 best joke of the day
star
2007-12-07 18:40:55 · answer #3 · answered by ♥Scottish♥Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ♥Fairy♥ 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Seriously LMAO.
2007-12-07 19:47:10 · answer #4 · answered by Trish 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Very cute (the story is)...you remind me of another Avitar here...just wondering?... Could you be 2? another interesting conundrum...
2007-12-08 13:32:50 · answer #5 · answered by Bronson 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
HAHAHA!!! well, donkeys are really called as*es, so, yeah, technically, all the stuff he said was correct! its great, good job, you get a starrr.
2007-12-07 18:12:40 · answer #6 · answered by rhay ♥ 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Good one
2007-12-07 22:24:51 · answer #7 · answered by Hoppity-ES 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
first of the day panos very funny keep em coming star4u
2007-12-07 21:47:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
vodkas not 4 sippin its 4 guzzlin
2007-12-07 18:06:08 · answer #9 · answered by nathaniel l 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
looooooooooooool
it must be a heck of sermon,
i wish tht i attend one of these, they would attract more people
hahaha =D
2007-12-07 22:00:22 · answer #10 · answered by Light Shielded By Dark 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋