A Labour MP of some high standing eventually comes to the end of his earthly career and stands at the pearly gates.
"Hmm," says St Peter, "I'm afraid it's not so clear cut with you high and mighty types, seeing as you had such a good innings. You need to tell us where you want to go"
"Here" says the astonished politician,"here of course"
"Sorry, rules are rules," says St Peter," you need to go to hell first, then come up here for a while and decide for yourself."
So into the lift he goes and it goes all the way down to hell. The doors open and he is rather surprised. He is in the middle of a perfect golf course, and he wanders over to the club house. All his friends are there chatting to Old Nick. All look devastatingly attractive, youthful, as they should have been were it not for the vicissitudes of bad genes, poor health, bad diet or age. All around was luxury and plenty, all were dressed in the most sparkling and becoming of evening wear. Drinks were poured and the evening wore on, but no one wore out. The heady high remained so, no anger, no bad feeling and he left the party in the dazzling company of someone he had always lusted after in life. In the morning he felt refreshed and ready to go. He played golf - and won, he went to the races, and won and just as the glitterati were assembling for another party, he was suddenly summoned upstairs.
Up he went into the lift and ascended to heaven.
"Now you must spend a day here" said St Peter to the politician.
It was all in all very pleasant, Everything was bright and clean and peaceful, filled with delightful young people who played harps, sang praises and did the most wonderful chants. Rivers were of the most wonderful water, and little birds and animals delighted the eye.
When the day was done, St Peter asked him to make his decision - heaven, or, the other place.
"Well, no offence St Peter, this is all very nice and stuff, but, I did prefer, much to my astonishment, the other place."
"Very well" St Peter said gravely, "but remember, there is no coming back."
Bursting with excitement our front bencher went into the lift and descended joyfully to hellish eternity.
When the doors opened, he got the shock of his life. Where there was a golf course was now a barren land, the club house a smoking ruin, and his friends were all ugly, old, mis-shaped and in rags and they spent their time picking vile rubbish from the ruins of the landscape.
"But, but, but..."
The Devil sidled up to him
"Welcome to hell!"
"But it was so different yesterday!" the politician protested
"Oh yes, but you see" the Devil explained, "yesterday we were campaigning - today, you voted!"
2007-11-29
19:37:59
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18 answers
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asked by
♥Scottish♥Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ♥Fairy♥
7
in
Jokes & Riddles