During the Great Depression, there was a man who walked into a bar one day. He went up to the bartender and said, "Bartender, I'd like to buy the house a round of drinks."
The bartender said, "That's fine, but we're in the middle of the Depression, so I'll need to see some money first."
The guy pulled out a huge wad of bills and set them on the bar. The bartender can't believe what he's seeing. "Where did you get all that money?" asked the bartender.
"I'm a professional gambler," replied the man.
The bartender said, "There's no such thing! I mean, your odds are fifty-fifty at best, right?"
"Well, I only bet on sure things," said the guy.
"Like what?" asked the bartender.
"Well, for example, I'll bet you fifty dollars that I can bite my right eye," he said.
The bartender thought about it. "Okay," he said.
So, the guy pulled out his false right eye and bit it. "Aw, you screwed me," said the bartender, and paid the guy his $50.
"I'll give you another chance. I'll bet you another fifty dollars that I can bite my left eye," said the stranger.
The bartender thought again and said, "Well, I know you're not blind, I mean, I watched you walk in here. I'll take that bet." So, the guy pulled out his false teeth and bit his left eye.
"Aw, you screwed me again!" protested the bartender.
"That's how I win so much money, bartender. I'll just take a bottle of your best scotch in lieu of the fifty dollars," said the man.
With that, the guy went to the back room and spent the better part of the night playing cards with some of the locals. After many hours of drinking and card playing, he stumbled up to the bar. Drunk as a skunk, he said, "Bartender, I'll give you one last chance. I'll bet you five hundred dollars that I can stand on this bar on one foot and piss into that whiskey bottle on that shelf behind you without spilling a drop."
The bartender once again pondered the bet. The guy couldn't even stand up straight on two feet, much less one. "Okay, you're on," he said.
The guy climbed up on the bar, stood on one leg, and began pissing all over the place. He hit the bar, the bartender, himself, but not a drop made it into the whiskey bottle.
The bartender was ecstatic. Laughing, the bartender said, "Hey pal, you owe me five hundred dollars!"
The guy climbed down off the bar and said, "That's okay. I just bet each of the guys in the card room a thousand bucks each that I could piss all over you and the bar and still make you laugh!"
2007-11-17 17:53:16 · 4 answers · asked by hotbodfun 2 in Jokes & Riddles
paying $20. to have them professionally clippled and filed. Is there a way, I can maage them myself without hurting her? I do not see well and I'm afraid of cutting her. Can a ? drindal" not sure of the word for doing dog nails be used more safely.
2007-11-17 17:53:10 · 4 answers · asked by Nora 7 in Dogs
if so, how and why? isn't good and evil just a concept or construct formed by the human mind to decide whether or not something is good or bad for the species? killing hurts the human population, thus seeming evil. helping the poor seems good, because it helps humans prosper and reproduce. good and evil are bound into us to keep us from destroying ourselves. but if you look outside of the human perspective, you can see that good and evil are nothing but animal instincts. when you detach yourself from human views, you can finally see the truth. good and evil don't really exist.
2007-11-17 17:53:06 · 7 answers · asked by someguy 2 in Religion & Spirituality
or maybe who...
2007-11-17 17:53:01 · 7 answers · asked by ♥Big Bear's Girl♥ 3 in Polls & Surveys
almost had a linda blair (from the excorcist) experience when it came to food... like earlier this evening i really really really wanted a little debbie brownie and nacho cheese doritos... the only store within 7 miles of my house didn't have any i thought i was going to die... that was the second time it's happened this week earlier during the week i almost killed the vending machine at work the only thing in it i could stomach to eat was pretzels and my pretzels got stuck on the way down i didn't have any more change and there was no one to help me i would've really hurt someone for those pretzels now.... if u have any food craving stories please tell so i don't feel like a complete psycho
2007-11-17 17:52:55 · 6 answers · asked by moonshine momma 3 in Polls & Surveys
A sample which is 20% Vendium, 50% Rulium and 30% Gendium weighs 8.8 grams/cc.
A sample which is 60% Vendium, 20% Rulium and 20% Gendium weighs 9.8 grams/cc.
A sample which is 30% Vendium, 30% Rulium and 40% Gendium weighs 8.8 grams/cc.
What is the weight of pure Gendium, in gms/cc?
2007-11-17 17:52:42 · 1 answers · asked by ace 1 in Homework Help
What are some good books about Islamic beliefs, customs, and social conducts? For example, a book for one who needs to know the "basics."
2007-11-17 17:52:40 · 7 answers · asked by enarchay 2 in Religion & Spirituality
2007-11-17 17:52:38 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys
2007-11-17 17:52:34 · 11 answers · asked by fonz 1 in Cats
hai. i am loosing seman in bed time atleast 4 times in a weak.i am very much boather about this.can you suggest me a treatment to control this problem.please my dear friends.
2007-11-17 17:51:50 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Men's Health
- we bought a hoodie today for 29.99 (original price is 49.99).. and the thing is its buy one get one 50% off..
so we bought another one (the same one) for $20 ( its only 20 dollars coz it has a damage, so we bought it for a discount..)..
so we ask them, why is the price still $20? (the price should be around 15 dollars..) $15 dollars because half of $29.99 is around 15, and subtract our "damage" discount from $15....then they told us that, " the 50% off will be deducted from the "original price"..
yea, i know that, but in the advertisement in front of their store, it says, "buy one get one 50% off, discount will be deducted at the store"..
-it doesnt say "buy one get one 50% off of the original price".
the thing is, false advertisement maybe?
and plus, we cant return them becuase in their policy, it says no refund..
anothing thing is that,
if one hoodie is 29.99, and if you buy another one, its ""49.99"" subtract the 50% off..
i guess the store can't do that..
because, overall, they're saying that one hoodie is 29.99 and the other price of the SAME hoodie is 49.99 !!
i think that it should be:: one hoodie = 29.99 and if you buy another one, its the 50% off of the price of the same previous hoodie ( which is 29.99)...
if their pricing is wrong, can we get our money back?
2007-11-17 17:51:42 · 6 answers · asked by srh 1 in Personal Finance
Definition (Webster's 3rd College Edition Dictionary)-"Feminism = The principle that women should have political, economic, and social rights equal to those of men."
The dictionary definition defines the majority of all women's feminist goals. We have achieved so much. Culture is far more complex than just gender issues.....
2007-11-17 17:51:26 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Gender Studies
Other than the difference in the number of singers, that is.
2007-11-17 17:50:49 · 5 answers · asked by ? 6 in Singing
How do I simplify
ln [square root[(x-1) / ((square root)(x+1))]]
Also how to simplify
ln [(x^x+1 / (1-x^3)) * (2^x / 7x)]
2007-11-17 17:50:22 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Mathematics
Should I dump her?
2007-11-17 17:50:18 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating
2007-11-17 17:50:08 · 6 answers · asked by Alexandra 1 in Other - Holidays
While in report at the end of my shift today, other nurses told me that Restless Leg Syndrome can be treated by placing a bar of soap under the patient's sheets. I was then shown that some patients have the soap in place in their beds.
Does anyone have experience with this? Anyone agree or disagree with it?
2007-11-17 17:49:05 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - General Health Care
Hi i am getting a PS3 from dubai via a relative living there but i wanted to choose whether i go with 80gb or 60gb. I heard in 80gb ur getting motorstorm game plus 2 wireless controllers. Is that true for all 80gb PS3s ever released or its only for the new ones? Since im getting from Dubai i want to be sure if i pay for 80gb version i get everything that comes along with it.
Please can any clarify whats EXTRA in the 80gb package which is not there for 60gb and 40gb?
Also what should be the price of 80gb version in Dubai?
2007-11-17 17:49:00 · 2 answers · asked by cyborg_reaper911 1 in PlayStation
do you think joe or any of em are preppy?
2007-11-17 17:48:47 · 1 answers · asked by xXxMichaelxXxMassacrexXx 1 in Magazines
This would be a fund to hire people to plant trees, water them weekly to ensure growth for a year and provide a website to show locations and pics for each tree planted. A $10.00 donation gives access to your tree, a weekly update if possible(weather permitting) and a gps location of your tree.
2007-11-17 17:48:42 · 7 answers · asked by Marven K 2 in Community Service
2007-11-17 17:48:41 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality
I am studying this in Health class and we are on the topic called SEX. Our homework is why is not good to have sex beyound age 12? I know what my answer is, but what are yours?
2007-11-17 17:48:37 · 11 answers · asked by Ryan B 1 in Men's Health
Is the conservative side fundamentally propaganda from the elite and corporations?
what are these parties called?
2007-11-17 17:48:19 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Elections
Racist.
2007-11-17 17:47:54 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys
during third period, there's this really nice guy. as an excuse to talk to him, i pretended i liked someone in my grade. this third period doode is really nice- when my music stand broke (3rd period is nusic for me) he offered to get a new one for me. he has a gf but i heard that he duzn't like her anymore and likes someone else. when i say hi to him he waves to me (not like wave wave, but he only duz it to me). he's azn (partcially like me!) and talks to me like friends do and since some of my friends know who he likes (i don't know who tho) and his gf is their best friend or somethin, they don't talk to me as much anymore. SO duz he like me?
2007-11-17 17:47:47 · 12 answers · asked by stephie <3 giraffes!!!1 jk 2 in Singles & Dating
2007-11-17 17:47:39 · 3 answers · asked by budmanixx 1 in Football (American)
2007-11-17 17:47:39 · 32 answers · asked by Darth Nihilus 5 in Polls & Surveys
2007-11-17 17:47:37 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys
mine's stuffing, heck i could eat just the stuffing and be a happy camper
2007-11-17 17:47:28 · 11 answers · asked by ally 6 in Thanksgiving
2007-11-17 17:46:42 · 5 answers · asked by jassyjmp 2 in Friends
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