All categories - 18 October 2007

The farmer and his wife, had worked hard, scrimped and saved to send their son to college. As soon as he had enroled, he started to grow a beard. Next he grew a large moustache and sideburns. Being pleased with his new hairsuit adornment, he had his picture taken and sent it off to his parents. On the back of the photo he scrawled: "How do you like it? Don't I look like a "count"?
Shortly after the son received this terse note: " You idiot!! It cost us a fortune to send you to college, and you can't even spell!!!"

Star if you liked it please!

2007-10-18 22:25:46 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-18 22:24:55 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Words & Wordplay

how do astronauts pee in space??

weird i no but i dont no anyone who knows the answer

i mean we went to a place like some excursion thing
jeez i forget what it was called
but it was all about space and stars
and some little kid asked how do they pee and space and the scientist wouldnt even tell us!!!
so hopefully one of you smart cookies no!!
THANKYOU!!

2007-10-18 22:24:29 · 25 answers · asked by rezi N 1 in Polls & Surveys

This married couple is on holiday in the middle east. They're touring around the market place looking at the goods and such, when they pass this small sandal shop. From inside they hear a gentleman with a foreign accent say "I welcome you, foreigners! Come in, come in to my humble shop. Salam a leekem!" (hello in English)

So the married couple walks in. The foreign man says to them "I have some special sandals I think you'd be interested in. They make you wild at sex like a great desert camel." The wife after hearing this is really interested in buying the sandals, but her husband feels he really doesn't need them, being the sex god that he is.

So the husband says to the man, "How could sandals make you into a sex freak?" The man replies "Just try them on." The husband, after much badgering from his wife, finally concedes to try them on. As he does, he gets this wild look in his eyes, something his wife has not seen in many years; raw sexual power.

In a blink of the eye, the husband rushes the man man, throws him on a table and starts tearing at the guys pants. All the time the man is screaming "Stop, stop! You've got them on the wrong dam feet!"

2007-10-18 22:23:49 · 7 answers · asked by jake5282 2 in Jokes & Riddles

I find the line "You can checkout any time you like but you can never leave" so creepy.

2007-10-18 22:23:32 · 30 answers · asked by b n r 2 in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-18 22:22:40 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Use code or else all we'll see are stars!

Mine is bollo(ks!

2007-10-18 22:22:35 · 43 answers · asked by devil loves an angel 1 in Polls & Surveys

It's only forever, Not long at all?

2007-10-18 22:22:22 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Can you swim in the sea in June, what about the jelly fish?

2007-10-18 22:21:58 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Australia

A fire starts inside a chemical plant and the alarm goes out to fire departments miles around. After crews have been fighting the fire for over an hour, the chemical company president approached the fire chief and said, "All of our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved! I will give $100,000 to the engine company that brings them out safely!"

The crews try, but no one can get through. Then another fire truck, filled with a volunteer fire company of men over 65, comes roaring down the road and drives straight into the middle of the inferno.

The other men watch unbelieving as the old timers hop off of their rig and heroically extinguish the fire, saving the secret formulas. The company president walks over to reward the volunteers. "What do you guys plan to do with the money?" the president asks the group.

The firetruck driver looks him right in the eye and answers, "The first thing we’re going to do is fix the ******* brakes on that truck."

2007-10-18 22:21:53 · 6 answers · asked by jake5282 2 in Jokes & Riddles

Jehova's witnesses are at the door!

2007-10-18 22:21:49 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

In 2003 I had a mastectomy & 6 months of agressive chemo for Pagets Disease of the breast & grade 3 & intermediate grade breast Cancer, this is my 4th year remission & was just about believing that I could be ok, that was untill this morning, I went to my GP because I noticed a dark brown patch on my lip & he said it could be an indication of bowel cancer, I am 46 & totally devestated, I also had a full blood count done a couple of weeks ago & have signs of diabetis that at the moment just needs monitoring. my paternal grandad died of bowel cancer about ten years ago, please help

2007-10-18 22:21:47 · 6 answers · asked by Lita M 2 in Cancer

So uh, I'm curious what girls like me have done? I'm clitorally centered, or something, I guess, and so I can't get anywhere when masturbating unless there's a lot of stimulation there. How do you get around that during sex without it being either unsatisfying or awkward?

2007-10-18 22:21:29 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Women's Health

A couple was golfing one day on an exclusive golfcourse lined with million-dollar houses. Off the third tee, the wife hit the ball right through the window of the biggest house on the course.

Embarrassed, they ran up to the house and knocked on the door. A voice said, "Come on in."
Entering the house, they saw glass all over the floor, a broken bottle lying in the foyer, and a man sitting on the couch. "Are you the people who broke my window?" he asked.
"Yes we are, but we're very sorry," the husband said.

"Actually I wanted to thank you." The man replied. "I'm a genie who was trapped for a thousand years inside that bottle you broke. Since you've released me, I'm allowed to grant two wishes - one for you and one for myself."

"Wow!" the husband replied. "In that case, I want a million dollars a year for the rest of my life."
"Granted." The genie told him. "Now for my wish...I've been trapped in that bottle, and without a woman, for a thousand years, so my wish is to sleep with your wife."

The husband looked at his wife, then shrugged. "Well, we did get a lot of money, so I guess I don't care."

The genie took the wife upstairs and ravished her for hours. When they were finally done, he rolled over, looked at the wife, and asked, "How old is your husband?"
"Thirty-five," she replied.

"And he still believes in genies? That's amazing!"

2007-10-18 22:20:48 · 9 answers · asked by jake5282 2 in Jokes & Riddles

2007-10-18 22:20:14 · 18 answers · asked by muni k 1 in Singles & Dating

I heard that girls like skinny guys. is 5'10'' 130 lbs skinny enough?

2007-10-18 22:20:12 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

Mine's bleen.

2007-10-18 22:20:06 · 35 answers · asked by devil loves an angel 1 in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-18 22:18:41 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Food & Drink

i have to admit i dont have a card.

2007-10-18 22:18:31 · 23 answers · asked by sumtingwong 1 in Current Events

...what would you do on your last day. For example would you finally tell those annoying customers where to go, or say something to your least favourite colleague? Go on, be creative.

2007-10-18 22:18:30 · 6 answers · asked by Bonnie 4 in Other - Society & Culture

2007-10-18 22:18:28 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Government

Death occurs when the subtle consciousness finally leaves the body to go the next life. Our body is like a guesthouse and our mind is the guest., when we die our mind has to leave this body and enter the body of our next rebirth, like a guest leaving one guesthouse and traveling to another. Any comments?

2007-10-18 22:16:10 · 12 answers · asked by E@rthGoddess 6 in Religion & Spirituality

My birthday is April 17. I'm an ARIES!! We rock!! Does anybody share the same day with me? Thanks in advance for sharing!!:)(:

2007-10-18 22:15:09 · 42 answers · asked by ♥♥Mommy to 2 Divas♥♥ 7 in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-18 22:14:29 · 33 answers · asked by mojo569 4 in Polls & Surveys

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071019/ap_on_go_ca_st_pe/gates

They've been planning it for years. They will lie about this, just like they lied about Iraq.

2007-10-18 22:14:26 · 5 answers · asked by sassychickensuckerboy 4 in Current Events

"if you dont belive your going to hell" - "all the jews and non belives will burn" are a couple of comments ive read from this site from christians.

and then they wonder why christianitys reputation is falling.

oh, im an athiest.

2007-10-18 22:13:41 · 35 answers · asked by Adam (AM) 4 in Religion & Spirituality