My live-in boyfriend of 5 years recently took the engagement from me.
I had told him on and off throughout our relationship that I had doubts about us, but we always tried to work it out. We were together for a while and were already practically married, living together, joint finances, bills, investments. He always has a knack for making things 'seem' better and alright. So I endured and continued on.
Over the past year, I've had plans to relocate back to my home state. I have a sick relative there and would like to spend as much time with her as I can while I still can. My boyfriend had made his own plans to move there with me as well.
We had a long talk, (one out of many) but this time it was for serious. I told him I wanted to move back much sooner than orginally planned, and I felt it was best if I went alone. I told him I was unsure if I wanted the relationship anymore and it would just makes things worse to drag him with me and us not prevail. As of late, I have had doubts regarding the marriage-to-be and whether we were really meant for eachother. I let him know all that was weighing on my mind and of my decision a few weeks ago. He hesitantly understood and it was left as that I would go back to my home state, we would be separated for a while but would keep the relationship on hold for the duration. The time away would not be used to find someone else, just to find myself.
Since the talk, we had been going along as a seemingly normal couple, with the thought and understanding of us being on this 'break' in the near future.
Two days ago, he jokingly pryed my ring off my finger and didn't return it to me. He said "you want to leave me? Then you don't need this".
I was shocked.
This ring was purchased a while ago for close to 10,000. We both had been there to pick it out and I had waited months anxiously for my surprise proposal. We had been engaged since last November.
After the whole fiasco, I told him I wouldn't have kept it anyway had I thought when I stepped on that plane that I would never see him again, never to return. I wasn't trying to screw anyone.
I feel upset and pissed off for what he did. Again, we had agreed that it was going to be temporary break to occur in 2 months. I would have used my away time to reflect on my life, our life together and to sort of 'fix' myself up, find myself, and to find my happiness within myself. To be close to my loved ones and build myself back up. I needed to be separated from him to find out if we were going to make it and if it was really meant to be.
I was with intentions of remaining engaged throughout this period.
Anyway, I bought a plane ticket leaving in 2 months. Enough time to save up enough money to be comfortable.
I am hurt. I feel like him taking the ring away like that was wrong. As far as I am concerned, we are NO longer engaged. I'm insulted. This makes me not even want to be with him at all.
Do I have a right to feel this way?
What's the 'rule' about engagement rings?
Thanks for reading.
2007-07-15
04:13:37
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31 answers
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Weddings