All categories - 16 June 2007

A blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blond jokes, and of how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.

He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He rushes over and says, "Jeez, are you all right?" She slowly nods her head yes. What are you doing? he asks incredulously.

I wanted to prove that not all blonde women are dumb, she started, and I wanted to do it by painting the house. Well why do you have both a ski jacket and a fur coat on? he asked dumbfounded.

Well, she says, I was reading the directions on the paint can and it said: For best results, put on two coats.

2007-06-16 09:48:52 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

a mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by her son's house after he was recently married. She rang the doorbell and stepped into the house to see her daughter-in-law standing naked in the doorway.

"What are you doing?" the mother-in-law asked.

"I am waiting for my husband to come home from work," the daughter-in-law replied.

"Why are you naked?" asks the mother-in-law.

"This is my love dress, she replied.

"Love dress? You are naked!" says the mother-in-law.

"But my husband loves it when I wear this dress. It makes him happy, and he makes me happy. I would appreciate your leaving now because my husband will be home any minute."

Soured by all of this romantic stuff, the mothr-in-law left. On the way home, she thought about the 'love dress' and got an idea. She undressed, showered, applied her best perfume, and waited by the door for her husband to come home.

Finally the toyota pulled into the driveway, and she took her place by the door.

2007-06-16 09:48:44 · 18 answers · asked by MYKLIA G 5 in Jokes & Riddles

First they did a thing on Rush Limbaugh saying is there to much democracy. Now they doing something on do fathers really deserve a Father's Day.

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1630551,00.html

2007-06-16 09:48:20 · 6 answers · asked by Jeremy P 2 in Media & Journalism

This is for my little sisters homework and as the title suggests, the simple fact would be apprectiated.

2007-06-16 09:48:20 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - United Kingdom

A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds.

When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds. Why, that's amazing! the doctor says. Did you follow my instructions?

The blonde nods. I'll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day. From hunger, you mean? asked the doctor. No, from skipping!
_

2007-06-16 09:48:18 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

i am trying to cut high fructose corn syrup out of my diet. the problem is- almost everything has it! the only things i now of that doNT contain HFCS[high fructose corn syrup] is 100% real juice (welches, simply orange/lemonade), fruit, organic animal crackers, and water. i mean c'mon even wheat bread has it! :(
-does anyone know of any foods that DONT contain HFCS?
-why do most foods have it anyway?


thanks!
thanks!

2007-06-16 09:48:12 · 8 answers · asked by ashley y 2 in Other - Food & Drink

2007-06-16 09:47:38 · 27 answers · asked by SweetieGoat 4 in Polls & Surveys

i'm still getting twitching

2007-06-16 09:47:30 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous in Mental Health

2007-06-16 09:47:23 · 28 answers · asked by Whatup??? 2 in Other - Politics & Government

How do I find it? Is it in some specific cave with the Unknowns or what?? I need it so I can teach haunter how to learn mean look!! HELP!!!!!

2007-06-16 09:47:17 · 4 answers · asked by metaltank5 2 in Other - Games & Recreation

just asking your opinion not trying to be racist or anything.

2007-06-16 09:47:16 · 26 answers · asked by its just lisax 1 in Singles & Dating

need book

2007-06-16 09:47:12 · 1 answers · asked by Anonymous in Maintenance & Repairs

or is it just me...

2007-06-16 09:46:55 · 39 answers · asked by Snake Eyes 6 in Polls & Surveys

Just looking for the most popular food.

2007-06-16 09:46:36 · 19 answers · asked by Hopeful Hero 2 in Polls & Surveys

career?

2007-06-16 09:46:33 · 7 answers · asked by moanalisa 4 in Law & Ethics

Therefor taxable.

2007-06-16 09:46:12 · 4 answers · asked by Jose R 6 in Other - Politics & Government

2007-06-16 09:46:10 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Celebrities

2007-06-16 09:45:59 · 3 answers · asked by JellyCat 4 in Other - Health

2007-06-16 09:45:58 · 2 answers · asked by alice w 1 in Health Care

2007-06-16 09:45:54 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Drama

MY SISTER JUST HAD A BABY ABOUT A MONTH AGO AND SHES ONLY 14. MY PARENTS DONT WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE BABY SO SHES TAKING CARE OF IT ON HER OWN, SHES BOROWING MONEY FROM FRIENDS. SHE CANT GET A GOOD JOB CUS SHES ONLY 14 AND IS IN 9TH GRADE. I BABYSIT SOMETIMES BUT I HAVE SCHOOL AND HOMEWORK. SHOULD SHE GIVE UP HER MONTH OLD BABY ALYSSA?? =(

2007-06-16 09:45:38 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Adoption

2007-06-16 09:45:34 · 7 answers · asked by jojeman73 2 in Nintendo Wii

its like the shuffle & it goes to the right,the,to the right,right,right...to the left to the to the left,left,left ..now kick come on baby kick now walit out by yourself

2007-06-16 09:45:20 · 2 answers · asked by b.! 2 in Lyrics

They are pretty expensive.

2007-06-16 09:45:18 · 12 answers · asked by happyteacher4u 2 in Dogs

Last week I deflead my cat with frontline, and then he's been at my mum's house while i've been on holiday for a week. Just got back, (cat is still away from home) and found that the floor of my flat is covered in live fleas. To say that I am distubed and purturbed is an understatement. I have laminate wooden flooring. What the hell have they been living on for the last week?? And more importantly, how do I get rid of them?? I 've been getting them with a sticky clothes roller thing, but I keep finding more and keep finding them on me, which is completely freaking me out! Help!

2007-06-16 09:45:05 · 14 answers · asked by pinkyminx 2 in Cats

curios

2007-06-16 09:45:04 · 2 answers · asked by neff neller 1 in Polls & Surveys

What kind of flea medication should I apply to a netherland dwarf rabbit, and how should I apply it?

2007-06-16 09:45:01 · 4 answers · asked by ? 1 in Other - Pets

2007-06-16 09:44:47 · 24 answers · asked by Zombie King 5 in Polls & Surveys

I am learning php and want to download the apache server to my home computer. Is it safe, or does it open your computer to anyone?

2007-06-16 09:44:42 · 5 answers · asked by operaphantom2003 4 in Programming & Design