“I got up one morning and couldn't find my socks, so I called Information. She said, "Hello, Information." I said, "I can't find my socks." She said, "They're behind the couch." And they were!”
When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?"
”I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums
When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.”
I like to reminisce with people I don't know.”
Oh, well, I guess this is just going to be one of those lifetimes”
“I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it
How young can you die of old age?”
My theory of evolution is that darwin was adopted.
The other day I... uh, no, that wasn't me.”
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled,
2007-05-18
04:25:13
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7 answers
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asked by
Anonymous
in
Jokes & Riddles