All categories - 10 May 2007

Jack and Josephine met each other while residents at the local nursing home. They fell in love even though she had a bad heart and he was hard of hearing. They decided to get married and the other residents pitched in to buy them a night in the local hotel.

While Josephine was sitting on the side of the bed taking her bra off she said to Jack, "Now Jack, I do have acute angina."
Jack turns to her and says, "Well , I don't know about that but those are the ugliest damn ****(breasts) I have ever seen."

2007-05-10 02:11:11 · 5 answers · asked by Moose 5 in Jokes & Riddles

I live in a condo community and they had 3 speed bumps in the beginning of the lot, in which the first (if your coming) or the last speed bump (if your leaving) is placed on a hill so it is hard for my car to make it over with out the car studdering over the bump or I have a hard time getting over the bump slowly although if I give it too much gas my car bottoms out on it. . that was the first issue. . the second issue is now they added 3 more that are "violent" in the best words thats how i'll describe the new speed bumps . . Now is there any laws that state how far away each speed bump can be placed and is there a law that permits the height of the bump? Also you should know I live in Worcester, Massachusetts . .I would really like to address this issue with the condo association promptly so any laws or advice about this would be greatly appreciated. .I'm starting to be concerned with my car!! thanks

2007-05-10 02:11:05 · 3 answers · asked by tluckie313 2 in Law Enforcement & Police

2007-05-10 02:11:04 · 30 answers · asked by HarveyB 7 in Polls & Surveys

I recently quit my job (last week) because my employer was bouncing my checks. I have the checks marked "insufficient funds" and my bank waived the fees. anyway, my question is this, can i file for unemployment?

2007-05-10 02:10:53 · 4 answers · asked by Gemini 2 in Law & Ethics

Have You Seen Any?

2007-05-10 02:10:18 · 17 answers · asked by ViXoNvEe 2 in Polls & Surveys

2007-05-10 02:10:18 · 1 answers · asked by Maria 1 in Movies

2007-05-10 02:10:14 · 26 answers · asked by concerned 1 in Religion & Spirituality

48 yr. old gal. Works out - knee hurts getting up, walking up/down stairs, rising from chair. Feels like it's going to collapse. Hurts outside lateral, radiates up leg to sciatica, when I've been on it all day. Help!

2007-05-10 02:09:56 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Diseases

he said something to the effect that Mormons didn't count and the "real Christians" would make up the vote , paraphrasing but this was the gist of it. Do you think the Mormons should get a protest and march going? LOL

2007-05-10 02:09:27 · 16 answers · asked by luminous 7 in Religion & Spirituality

Worse than SARS and Bird Flu combined, The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of Sexually Transmitted Disease. The disease is contracted through dangerous and high-risk behavior. The
disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim and pronounced "gonna re-elect him." Many victims contracted it in 2004, after having been screwed for the past four years. Cognitivecharacteristics of individuals infected include: anti-social personality disorders, delusions of grandeur with messianic overtones, extreme cognitive dissonance, inability to incorporate new information, pronounced xenophobia and paranoia, inability to accept responsibility for own
actions, cowardice masked by misplaced bravado, uncontrolled facial smirking, ignorance of
geography and history, tendencies towards evangelical theocracy, categorical all-or-nothing behavior. Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed at how this destructive disease originated a few years ago from a stupid bush in TX

2007-05-10 02:09:25 · 13 answers · asked by citizenjanecitizenjane2 4 in Politics

2007-05-10 02:09:25 · 33 answers · asked by echaris 2 in Religion & Spirituality

no man without sin says1king8;46
christians are sinless says, john3;9
children are punished for the sins of the parents ex20;5
children are not punished for the sins of the parents ezk18;20
god cannot lie heb6;18
god lies by proxy 1kings22;23/ezek14;9
robbery commanded ex3;21
robbery forbidden lev19;13

2007-05-10 02:09:25 · 17 answers · asked by ali k 1 in Religion & Spirituality

I mean, if everyone committed just one Saturday to stay home, and not drive anywhere, think of the gas it would save. Stay in, have a family day, and unless you have to work, just don't drive anywhere. Unfortunately, this may have a bad effect on the rest of the economy, because there would be no shopping (except internet), eating out, etc. However, I think our gas crisis probably outweighs that right now. What do you think?

2007-05-10 02:08:25 · 5 answers · asked by lawmom 5 in Other - Cars & Transportation

Will it be accurate to true basketball history and kobe's future judgment that perhaps the single greatest player of his generation, even though winning 3 rings has never won an MVP? When we look at statistics, won't a lack of MVP cheat his legacy by being a shot against him? "If he was so good, how come he never won one" Does anyone think maybe bias against him as a bad team player, or just plain dislike by the media has influenced decisions for him not to win? Good competition or not, something doesn't seem right about losing it year after year. He is the Susan Lucci of MVP's.

2007-05-10 02:08:19 · 35 answers · asked by wjs111 2 in Basketball

2007-05-10 02:08:00 · 7 answers · asked by DPV 1 in Baseball

I asked yesterday on this forum if there is any evidence of human beings *beginning* the very *initial* stages of *starting* to evolve into different species (I didn't ask if humans had already evolved into different species). Many people said that different "races" were evidence of evolutionary change.
How can this be if there is no such thing as race?

2007-05-10 02:07:54 · 15 answers · asked by pomosimulacrum 2 in Anthropology

I really need to learn when to keep my mouth shut, what are some ways I can stop myself from blurting out crap all the time?

2007-05-10 02:07:50 · 12 answers · asked by Pepper 3 in Friends

Lame Deer teacher strip searches 4 boys at school.

2007-05-10 02:06:46 · 3 answers · asked by Larissa K 1 in Other - Education

1. 2x10-9 m/s
2. 3x 10-9 m/s
3. 3x 10-8 m/s
4. 2x10-8 m/s

2007-05-10 02:06:15 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Physics

but they'll sure as hell call a man all the names under the sun. I just growl at a woman now to drown out the whinging

2007-05-10 02:06:13 · 21 answers · asked by TJ 3 in Singles & Dating

2007-05-10 02:06:12 · 6 answers · asked by krypto'nstreaky 2 in Lyrics

2007-05-10 02:06:09 · 13 answers · asked by PhoeniXoXoXoX 6 in Polls & Surveys

The Reverand Al Sharpton is under fire today for making this remark during recent a debate: "Those of us who believe in God will defeat Republican Mitt Romney for the White House." Romney is a Mormon.

http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.jsp?articleId=281474976996423

2007-05-10 02:05:20 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Elections

2007-05-10 02:05:03 · 5 answers · asked by Jim 7 in Polls & Surveys

2007-05-10 02:05:00 · 19 answers · asked by PhoeniXoXoXoX 6 in Polls & Surveys

Going back to the past.. is something harder than you think?

going back to the old love..
going back to the old self..
going back to the old school..
going back to the old faults..
going back to the memories..

When i am no longer the same person i used to be back then..

will it be even harder than i think?

2007-05-10 02:04:46 · 11 answers · asked by W L 2 in Philosophy

Lincoln and Churchill both had the forsight to see that there was a gathering threat and had to deal with it.

Lincoln and Churchill both had to deal with lieberal bedwetting moonbats determined to undermine their countries best efforts to fight the enemies.

President Bush will go down in history has one of Americas and the worlds, greatest men

2007-05-10 02:04:44 · 11 answers · asked by mefeelsgreat49 1 in Politics

All I can think of is "Braveheart" and "Brigadoon" - if anyone else can help, please answer.

2007-05-10 02:04:33 · 11 answers · asked by Salsoul 2 in Movies

Is a joke that I heard in a show:

Back in the 1800 a boat was sailing until one of the sailors go to the captain and said:
"Captain there's an enemy ship on the horizon."
The captain said to his partner: "Bring me my red shirt."
His partner confused bring his red shirt and the battle begin, at the end they win the battle and the captain didn't lose one sailor. His alerted sailor tells him:
"Can I ask you something?, Before the battle you ask for a red shirt. Why a red shirt?"
The captain respond:
"Because if I happen to be shot and bleeding, with my red shirt nobody will not notice the blood and they will continue to fight on."
"Wonderful idea, captain" said the sailor.

On the next day the same sailor goes to the captain desperate and screams:
"20 enemies ships on the horizon!"
The captain respond: "Bring me my brown pants!"

Give me a star if its funny. xD

2007-05-10 02:04:24 · 11 answers · asked by . 5 in Jokes & Riddles

2007-05-10 02:03:52 · 4 answers · asked by leo c 1 in Security