All categories - 4 May 2007

Last week was my 50th birthday and I didn't feel very well when I woke up that morning. I sat there at breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "happy birthday!", and possibly have a present for me.



As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "happy birthday."



I thought... well, that's marriage for you, but the kids will remember.



My kids came into breakfast and didn't say a word. so when I left for the office, I was feeling pretty low and somewhat despondent.



As I walked into my office, my secretary Linda said, "good morning, boss, happy birthday!" it felt good that at least someone had remembered.



I worked until one o'clock and then Linda knocked on my door and said, "you know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it's your birthday, let's go out to lunch, just you and me."



I said, "thanks Linda, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day.



Let's go!" we went to lunch. but we didn't go where we normally would go.



We dined instead at a little place with a private table. we had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.



On the way back to the office, Linda said, "you know, it's such a beautiful day... we don't need to go back to the office, do we?"



I responded, "I guess not. what do you have in mind?"



She said, "let's go to my apartment."



After arriving at her apartment Linda turned to me and said, "boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for a moment.



I'll be right back."



"OK." I replied, somewhat nervously.



She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake... followed by my wife, kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "happy birthday"



and i just sat there...



on the couch...



naked.

2007-05-04 07:52:24 · 20 answers · asked by sinnedfairy 5 in Jokes & Riddles

2007-05-04 07:52:19 · 36 answers · asked by amphetamine 3 in Polls & Surveys

Also, if you have your child "Dedicated", do you choose Godparents? I belong to an Evangelical Christian church. I have been waiting for an answer from my pastor but he apparently is very busy. Thank you!

2007-05-04 07:52:19 · 17 answers · asked by purplebinky 4 in Religion & Spirituality

2007-05-04 07:52:16 · 26 answers · asked by egwenealvere 1 in Vegetarian & Vegan

2007-05-04 07:52:15 · 10 answers · asked by WWTSD? 5 in Religion & Spirituality

im really thirsty and i have no drinks. what are some drinks i could make out of basic ingredients and water/soda water?

2007-05-04 07:52:07 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Non-Alcoholic Drinks

Do you thinks Christians should engage in serious dialogue with each other? Do you think that Christians should emphasize what they have in common (like the Creed and New Testament) and respectfully discuss disagreements? Should Christians try to understand what other groups and religions actually teach? What about the same for non Christian religions and philosophies? Can people who disagree work together for things they think are worthwhile?

2007-05-04 07:52:05 · 4 answers · asked by James O 7 in Religion & Spirituality

that you cant do any gardening when your pregnant i heard this on tv and im confused i only caught the end of the show

2007-05-04 07:51:59 · 16 answers · asked by chic_who_take_noshit 3 in Pregnancy

Don't blame the arabs. American oil companies buy oil and gas at wholesale cost from them and then gouge us at the pump. If they sold it at a reasonable cost, gas in America would average about $1.50 per gallon and they would still be making a good profit on that.

2007-05-04 07:51:58 · 10 answers · asked by Bakram 1 in Current Events

up to now wikipedia is useless...

2007-05-04 07:51:58 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Physics

Leaving aside the question of the literal factual nature, or lack thereof of the story of the Ark, and assuming it is an allegory, parable, fable or tale intended to impart a lesson about God's will, what exactly is the theme or message of this tale??

That God's kind of a dick, and someday might just decide to wipe out everyone except one dude and the puppies and the kitties and the horsies? That God's a pretty poor judge of character (check out Noah's less than stellar character after the flood subsides)? That God likes animals better than people?

What lesson are we supposed to learn from the story?

2007-05-04 07:51:55 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality

2007-05-04 07:51:35 · 9 answers · asked by ~Ryan~ 4 in Polls & Surveys

Gasoline prices, already flirting with $3 a gallon and going higher, could this be another SURGE for Bush and his corporate pals?

2007-05-04 07:51:31 · 19 answers · asked by Charlooch 5 in Politics

was beer rationed? what meals did they have?

2007-05-04 07:51:28 · 4 answers · asked by carina l 1 in History

2007-05-04 07:51:28 · 9 answers · asked by exposecorruptionincookcounty 1 in Other - Politics & Government

I recently bought a new microphone for msn as my old one stopped working. But when i plug it in, nothing comes up where i configure microphone for msn settings. i have this jack sense thing where it senses speakers and mics if they are plugged in the right place. My microphone comes up there but no where else. help me please

2007-05-04 07:51:27 · 2 answers · asked by Marls 1 in Other - Hardware

I'm having a Victorian style, June wedding with swans and red roses (not real swans...). For my favors we are looking into getting/making chocolate swans. Our back-up plan is to fill the little plastic swans with candy. What do you think should go in them? We are trying to avoid the tackiness that usually comes with those plastic swans...

2007-05-04 07:51:16 · 17 answers · asked by BooBoo 3 in Weddings

I thought I heard something on the grape vine

2007-05-04 07:51:09 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Celebrities

2007-05-04 07:51:08 · 8 answers · asked by alan w 1 in Earth Sciences & Geology

2007-05-04 07:50:51 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality

2007-05-04 07:50:43 · 34 answers · asked by Miss T 7 in Polls & Surveys

When it comes to health care lots of people say "Let them buy their own".. and heck, if they can afford it sure, why not... but not everyone can afford such a thing.. I spend 2 years working with troubled teens.. and do you know the places these kids came from? they LITERALLY had DIRT floors in their houses.. i say houses.. they were more like shacks... tell me these families can afford a penny to anything else when they can hardly get by as it is.. we may be an advanced nation.. but not all of our people as well of as you and I sitting here chatting on our computers.

2007-05-04 07:50:27 · 20 answers · asked by pip 7 in Politics

2007-05-04 07:50:25 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Hair

Im making a dinner for my girlfriend and she loves simple foods. So all I will add to the meatballs is salt and oregano. What would be the best way to cook them? Fry? Boil? Please help!

2007-05-04 07:50:13 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Cooking & Recipes

I remember when my little sister was about 7 years old. My dad had just received a phone call from a telemarketer. He got off the phone and said "Darn those telemarketers!" My sister inquired what telemarketers were. My dad told her that they were people who generally tried to give you something that you didn't want.

"If you answer the phone and don't hear anybody speak for about 2 minutes then just hang up."
"OK Daddy" my sister said.
Later that day, I was sitting on the couch reading when the phone rang. My sister said "I'll get it." She answered the phone and said "Hello?" She must have noticed the pause and looked over an whispered "I think its a telmarter." And she waited. Well you know how they generally come on and say "Hello may I please speak with __________." Well this telemarketer said (she told me afterwards) "May I please speak with Adam?" All of a sudden I hear her say "Well Hell, you don't need MY permission!" and she hung up! It was classic! U have any?

2007-05-04 07:50:06 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family

2007-05-04 07:49:49 · 38 answers · asked by beautiful bird 3 in Celebrities

it has been broke down for over a month now i have no central heating, and no hot water,and 2 small children in the house. what can i do about it?

2007-05-04 07:49:42 · 12 answers · asked by Sarah W 1 in Renting & Real Estate

ants in your pants?

2007-05-04 07:49:38 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys