What is the funniest thing you've ever heard a child say? (Personal experiences please - no tv or radio)?

Question

I remember when my little sister was about 7 years old. My dad had just received a phone call from a telemarketer. He got off the phone and said "Darn those telemarketers!" My sister inquired what telemarketers were. My dad told her that they were people who generally tried to give you something that you didn't want.

"If you answer the phone and don't hear anybody speak for about 2 minutes then just hang up."
"OK Daddy" my sister said.
Later that day, I was sitting on the couch reading when the phone rang. My sister said "I'll get it." She answered the phone and said "Hello?" She must have noticed the pause and looked over an whispered "I think its a telmarter." And she waited. Well you know how they generally come on and say "Hello may I please speak with __________." Well this telemarketer said (she told me afterwards) "May I please speak with Adam?" All of a sudden I hear her say "Well Hell, you don't need MY permission!" and she hung up! It was classic! U have any?

Answer 1

I took my daughter (6 yrs old) to an ENT this past winter in preparation for tubes to be put in her ears and have her tonsils and adnoidsd out. The doctor was talking to us and explaining the procedure to her...and she pipes up and says...oh, my friend Dallas had his tonsils and hemmroids taken out a few weeks ago and he turned out just fine! After the doctor scraped himself up off the floor from laughing he said, "well, thank goodness we're taking out your adnoids...and not your hemmroids!" It was classic!

Answer 2

My oldest daughter was in her "Why" Phase. She asked why after everything anyone said. (Why did we just stop? cause there is a red light... why is there a red light? so we don't get into an accident with the cars coming the other way...Why don't we get into an accident? etc...) Went through the whole line of questions for about 15 min and i ran out of answers so i said I don't know!, Do you know? She said "No, why don't i know?"
Then we made up the rule no more why questions in the car. My oldest asked another why question and my youngest turned to her and said with a snobby attitude "That was a WHY question" She is 3

We were in the store last night and the guy who was ringing us up was all muscular, wearing a sleeveless shirt. My 3 year old said "Why are you all big and strong?" He said because he ate all his vegetables and if she eats all her vegetables she can be big and strong like him. She said " you dont have a skirt on, you're not a princess."

This one is not my kids but my cousin's kids. They were just learning to use the potty and my other cousin (their Aunt) took them into a public restroom. Because all the adults were female the little boys had to go into the ladies room. She didnt want him to wander around while she went so she took him in the handcapped stall with her. As soon as she sat down he started FREAKING out "You dont have a ding a ling!!!! I have a ding a ling! Where is your ding a ling? mommy doesnt have a ding a ling! daddy has a ding a ling! you dont have a ding a ling!" it was a crowded restroom with about 10 people in it!

When my daughter was younger she could not make the tr sound and it sounded more like an f. Every time we passed a truck....

She used to say lemmomaid so i was trying to get her to say it correctly by saying each part seperatly. lem on aide She would go up to everyone and say "lem on maid. say it! say it! LEM ON MAID no, LEM ON MAID"

My mom would always joke around with my daughter saying she was going to give her a knuckle sandwitch. One day she said "Noooo, Knuckle sandwitches are for breakfast!"

She would make up songs food song- "Food song food song this is the food song" baby song " baby song baby song this is the baby song"

Answer 3

"the point now is how can we paintings at the same time to achieve major objectives. And one such purpose is a democracy in Germany." —George W. Bush, D.C., may 5, 2006 "it truly is called, A fee to save, depending upon a non secular hymn. The hymn talks about serving God. The president's interest is not in any respect to promote a faith." —George W. Bush, exhibiting German newspaper reporter Kai Diekmann the Oval workplace, Washington, D.C., may 5, 2006

Answer 4

I was pregnant and was trying to teach my 3 year old that there was a baby in my belly. I would put her hand on my belly and say baby. Well I asked her one day "Where's the baby and she put her hand on her daddy's belly (he's not skinny) and said baby. I about died laughing, so did my husband.


When I was about the same age as my daughter my mom was pregnant with my brother and someone asked me what I wanted her to have and i said puppies. They had to try to explain to me that was not possible so then I said kitties. I was quite upset we wouldn't be getting a pet. Cause I just knew if my mom had it they'd have to let us keep it. I then said oh I want a girl then. I love my brother just as much as if he'd been a girl but admit to maybe dressing him in drag once or twice when i was about 6.


lesson learned don't ask small children open ended questions but if you do the answers can be really funny.

Answer 5

I took my son to his 3 year check up. I had been coaching him on the way there about what the check up would entail so he wouldn't be scared or surprised. The pediatrician came in and said, "Can I check you out now?" My darling 3 year old boy looked up with the biggest most honest eyes I've ever seen and said, "Well, yes, but I can tell you right now that my peepee and my te8ticles are just fine."

Answer 6

When my nephew was around 2 or 3 years old, my brother and his girlfriend were trying to get him to use sippy cups instead. He had teeth and would bite holes in the nipples of the bottles and they'd have to throw them away because they'd squirt everywhere. Gavin was drinking from the last bottle with a good nipple that he had and he was biting it. My brother told him "Gavin, if you bite that bottle again you'll have to use cups because you won't have any more left." Gavin looks straight at him and in the most sarcastic "duh" tone a child that age can master says "Well dad, go to the store and buy a new one." Loved it.

Answer 7

I have 3 kids so someone in my house is ALWAYS saying something funny. I think one of the funnier moments was when my youngest was 3 or 4. I took them all to see Santa at the mall. When she got her turn, she sat on Santa's lap, gave a weird wide-eyed look and then held her nose and said "Whoa Santa, you got some stinky old breath!". I could have died!! She also told our dentist one day when she went in for a cleaning "Oh my goodness, you are ONE GOOD-LOOKIN man!". She was about 6 then.

Answer 8

We had planned to take our daughter to see a movie. She was about four at the time. I had just picked her up from the sitter when she asked me if we were taking the sitter's kid to the movie and leaving her with them.
"No", I said, "We are taking you. Who told you that?"
"Tony."
"Tony is just kidding."
To which my 4 year old replied,"That Tony. He's such an asshole!"
I was a bit stunned. ( I had to pull over, I was laughing so much!) I told her we don't use that kind of language, but since she did, I was proud that she used it correctly.

Answer 9

When my son was 5 and learning about where he lives in school, he asked 1 day... Mom, where do we live? I said Indiana.. he said NO Mom, like in the south or north? I said, oh we live in the midwest. He threw his arms in the air and said ... YEAH, so im a cowboy!! Of course he's not because we live in the Midwest!

Answer 10

My hubby and I were talking about Thanksgiving dinner-what I was going to take- I mentioned green bean casserole and my daughter pipes up from the backseat "Is green bean casserole, casserole with green beans?"

My son had just started Kindergarten and we were talking about what he'd had for lunch, he said "A cheeseburger with a chicken nugget on it." After about twenty minutes of him repeating himself we found out it was a chicken sandwich.