All categories - 28 April 2007

A man and his wife were spending a day at the zoo. She was wearing a loose-fitting, pink dress, sleeveless with straps. He was wearing his usual jeans and T-shirt. As they walked through the ape section, they passed in front of a large, silverback gorilla.
Noticing the wife, the gorilla went crazy. He jumped on the bars, and holding on with one hand and two feet, he grunted and pounded his chest with his free hand. He was obviously excited at the pretty lady in the pink dress.
The husband, noticing the excitement, thought this was funny. He suggested that his wife tease the poor fellow some more by puckering her lips and wiggling her bottom. She played along and the gorilla got even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead.
Then the husband suggested that she let one of her straps fall to show a little more skin. She did this and the gorilla was about to tear the bars down.
"Now show your thighs and sort of fan your dress at him," he said. This drove the gorilla absolutely crazy and he started doing flips.
Then the husband grabbed his wife, ripped open the door to the cage, flung her in with the gorilla and slammed the cage door shut.
"Now tell him you have a headache."

2007-04-28 07:02:21 · 9 answers · asked by Cowboy 4 in Jokes & Riddles

I would like to know what is a very good anti-virus & anti-spy program I can use to protect my computer it has to be a real-time monitoring system where it tells me who is getting into my computer something which can deep scan everything. I have tried many programs but they just don't do a good job they leave a few areas and don't pick things up I have even paid for them but they are no good could you tell me what is a very good anti-virus and anti-spyware that does the job

2007-04-28 07:02:13 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Software

2007-04-28 07:02:08 · 2 answers · asked by the_oleander_maiden 1 in Chemistry

2007-04-28 07:01:46 · 24 answers · asked by teen witch 1 in Religion & Spirituality

ok i havent eat meat for 4 monthes and i already losts some weight but i still drinks alots of soda and eats alots of fries and junk food
should i go vegan?
what are some excersise i can do?

2007-04-28 07:01:43 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Diet & Fitness

Im 15 and been thinking about getting circumsized. I've talked to my parents about it and they said it was up to me. I've got a few questions though. Are you awake during hte operation? How long does it take to heal? Is it really worth it? Judging from many womens opinions it seems they prefer cut men and pleasing them is all that matters. What should i do?

2007-04-28 07:01:41 · 9 answers · asked by jwdbts 2 in Men's Health

i want to do an object lesson for my teens. the object is broken pieces of pottery. the subject is that God will take the broken pieces and mend them together and shape their lives. but i can't find the right scripture. i'm not so good at quoting, so its become very difficult. any ideas on the right scripture to use? thanks!

2007-04-28 07:01:38 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality

i am 15 and the guy i like is shorter, does that matter?

2007-04-28 07:01:27 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

I'm no Muslim, but I do have a few questions to ask:

How many people here realise that it was Muslims who invented the scientific method when Europe was still in the Dark Ages?
Also, how many people here realise that it was the Muslims who translated the works of Aristotle and Plato (as well as the Hermetic traditions) into the modern lingo of the time, which gave rise to the Renaissance and then to Western science?
How many people also realise that it was the Muslims who invented modern mathematics (including the numerals we use everyday), and, they invented optics and many other things besides?
So, why is it that we in the West (Christians in particular) enjoy the fruits of their knowledge and cultural andvancements while villifying them so much? Tell me now, who is the savage and who is the civilised?

2007-04-28 07:01:15 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality

I have a friend that has had a virus for a few days...Like chicken Pocks but not. I want to cook him dinner keeping in mind that his mouth hurts.. He has them in there too..Ouch I know.. So does anyone have any suggestions on some meals??? Easy meals. ??

2007-04-28 07:01:00 · 6 answers · asked by Romosta 2 in Cooking & Recipes

I'm 18 (in the UK) and I want to drive over to France. Would that be ok? I heard you have to be over 25 but that just sounds daft to me.

2007-04-28 07:00:43 · 6 answers · asked by floppity 7 in Law & Ethics

I know there were many changes that took place in the late middle ages that led to feudalism's downfall, but was it ever officially gotten rid of?

2007-04-28 07:00:27 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in History

I found this turtle in the middle of the road. And I unfortunately know absolutely nothing about turtle species. And while I try to see if anybody lost their turtle (But I'm wondering how a turtle can run away.), I'd like to see if I could try feeding it. Here are some pictures of it. It is around I'm guessing 6-8 inches.

http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i105/kammyspics/turtle.jpg
http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i105/kammyspics/turtle2.jpg

Thank you. :)

2007-04-28 06:59:24 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Reptiles

How many children will already be living off the state if abortion was banned?
Do Repubs really believe that there are enough adoptive homes for the million babies each year being aborted?
.... a huge percentage of them being hard to adopt black children?

So if they are against poor mother's on welfare who have no other way to get by, and
they are agaisnt abortion,


Who in the WORLD do they think will pay for the MASSIVE numbers of children in foster care or wards of the state?
So, have the child, and let it starve or put it up for adoption, if there is no one left to adopt out, give them to the government to raise? How much does THAT cost?

And finally DO YOU REALLY HAVE A BETTER SUGGESTION FOR WOMEN SEEKING AN ABORTION THAN
"YOU SHOULD HAVE KEPT YOUR LEGS CLOSED, WHORE?".

Is that what Jesus would say,
being that his own mother was knocked up out of wedlock? hmmm?

2007-04-28 06:59:19 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics

I need to find something in the house to convert the grams, but I don't know what to use or how to do it.

2007-04-28 06:59:13 · 2 answers · asked by sandysdachshund 3 in Chemistry

My son was born with grey-blue eyes, as were my brother and I. Our eyes changed color at a few months old, so by what age will my son's eyes change if they're going to change?

2007-04-28 06:59:02 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Newborn & Baby

marsha started a 1024- meter race, ran half the distnce to the finish line, and then handed the baton to greg. greg ran half the remaining distance and handed off to alice, who ran half the remaining distance. how far from the finish line did alice stop? if the team continues this pattern how many more runners will they need in order to cross the finish line?

2007-04-28 06:58:57 · 7 answers · asked by ♥OFFICIALLYMrs-JONES♥ 2 in Mathematics

2007-04-28 06:58:18 · 9 answers · asked by Panda 1 in Pregnancy

I want it to be really girly and princess( but no flowers please) any suggestions?

2007-04-28 06:58:12 · 14 answers · asked by Cay 1 in Entertaining

I do because its a lot less dangerous for a man if his car breaks down than it is for a woman. There are all kinds of mean people out there that prey on innocent women. In addition men are stronger and more likely have more knowledge to fix a car if it breaks down.

2007-04-28 06:57:55 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

when I turned on my computer there was a message that said that the network cable is unplugged however I already checked the cables but still the message is there.
What can I do? which one is the cable

2007-04-28 06:57:49 · 5 answers · asked by AVR 1 in Other - Computers

2007-04-28 06:57:39 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality

Who would win a match out of Mandy and Stewie?

2007-04-28 06:56:55 · 8 answers · asked by dangelo h 5 in Comics & Animation

I have been many times at Rhodos Island and love it very much.
Which is the most beautiful spot in your opinion? Describe it for me,please.

2007-04-28 06:56:51 · 4 answers · asked by vivet 7 in Greece

2007-04-28 06:56:42 · 2 answers · asked by jaybabe 1 in Careers & Employment

Please do not answer this question based on your religious beleifs. and if you want to preach to me a branch of christianity or catholisism please don't waste your time, as i find no acceptance or appeal, or truth to those. They have some good practices and morals, but mostly i find it rather fake. Anybody else, if i want a religion that is open yet spiritual, do you have any ideas?

2007-04-28 06:56:41 · 21 answers · asked by Torrence 1 in Religion & Spirituality

I'm new

2007-04-28 06:56:38 · 6 answers · asked by ♥ NeVaR ♥ 2 in Polls & Surveys

Gateway Notebook works great, except when I try to awake notebook from Sleep mode. Always comes first windows logon in screen and then inmediatly blue screen without error messages, then computer reboot automaticly. Alrady I update graphics software, upgrade memory, but the same

2007-04-28 06:56:38 · 4 answers · asked by mancev 1 in Laptops & Notebooks