All categories - 6 April 2007

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night
and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a
big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that
after dinner, she would like to go out and make love
for the first time.
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex
before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to
get
some
condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and

the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.

He tells the boy everything there is
to know
about condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many

condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family

pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he

thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time

and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents

house and meets his girlfriend at
the door. "Oh, I'm
so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table

where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly
offers to say
grace and bows his head.
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer,
with his head down.
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the
girlfriend leans over and
whispers to the
boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your
father was a pharmacist."

2007-04-06 01:10:27 · 15 answers · asked by Atheism itself is your best shot at heaven !! 7 in Jokes & Riddles

Hi, I have a Spanish oral exam coming up and was wondering if anyone knew of any good websites that would help me revise for it or test myself? Thanks

2007-04-06 01:09:29 · 4 answers · asked by groovyjesuschick 1 in Languages

2007-04-06 01:09:15 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality

2007-04-06 01:08:45 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Mental Health

"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy." --Tom Clancy



"You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither." --Steve Martin



"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." --Woody Allen



"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night." --Rodney Dangerfield



"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL." --Lynn Lavner



"Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist." --Matt Barry



"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope." --Camille Paglia



"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant." --George Burns



"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." --Sharon Stone



"My girlfriend always laughs during sex---no matter what she's reading." --Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)



"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-*****." --Jack Nicholson



"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is." --Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady -- and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor)



"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." --Robin Williams



"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself." --Roseanne



"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." --Billy Crystal



"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful." --Robert De Niro



"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?" --Dustin Hoffman



"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked." --Jerry Seinfeld



"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house." --Rod Stewart



"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time." --Robin Williams

2007-04-06 01:07:54 · 5 answers · asked by Atheism itself is your best shot at heaven !! 7 in Jokes & Riddles

Hi guys!

These are my subjects:

English
Further Mathematics
Biology
Psychology
Studio Arts

What could I get into?

Thanks heaps!

2007-04-06 01:07:37 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Science

In recent times the thesis has often been proposed that only the Romans were responsible for the death of Jesus. Did Jewish authorities have the authority to order the crucifixion of Jesus, given the Roman occupation of the country?

2007-04-06 01:07:29 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality

2007-04-06 01:07:26 · 2 answers · asked by kaya b 1 in Other - Visual Arts

Another hung parliament or an outright winner (unlikely but apparently the SNP are polling at around 50% at the moment so not outwith possibility).

2007-04-06 01:07:24 · 8 answers · asked by John D 3 in Elections

And please do not give me the "they attack us" routine. Christians are wise to know who to speak to about God and who is not ready to receive...so why do atheists have a defensive mindset?

2007-04-06 01:07:22 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality

Death seems to always be looked upon in a negative way. That is understandable, in that people want to live and prolong their lives, etc.

Though if I try to look at the human condition from an objective point of view, I wonder why people don't talk about it more often. It is something that everyone has in common, and it is often a fear of people. Surely peoples' wonders and fears would be eased if the topic was discussed more often, therefore enhancing their lives.

Death seems to be an unspeakable subject. Many people feel uncomfortable discussing it, and some even seem offended when the matter is raised. Often, people will also jump to drastic conclusions - that the person raising the discussion is unhappy, suicidal, etc.

Surely it isn't bad of a person to wonder about death and want to discuss it, is it?

2007-04-06 01:06:30 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Philosophy

2007-04-06 01:06:30 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Sometimes I have to remind myself... it's pillage first then burn..

2007-04-06 01:05:28 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

im gonna go have brunch and and easter egg hunt and get dressed up? what are you gonna wear on easter ?

2007-04-06 01:05:18 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Don't You?

2007-04-06 01:05:16 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-04-06 01:04:18 · 15 answers · asked by multipły 6 in Polls & Surveys

When the divorce was final, she spent the first day packing her belongings
into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining
room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music and feasted on
a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar and a bottle of Chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few
half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain
rods.

She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the
first few days.

Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning,
mopping and airing the place out.

Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned.

Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set
off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in
the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to
work in the house.

The maid quit.

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not
find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out and eventually even the
local Realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a
new place.

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the
saga of the rotting house.

She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly, and
would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting
the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price
that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were
to sign the papers that very day.

She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later the former husband and his girlfriend stood smiling as they
watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home...



...including the curtain rods.

2007-04-06 01:03:45 · 7 answers · asked by Atheism itself is your best shot at heaven !! 7 in Jokes & Riddles

2007-04-06 01:03:42 · 34 answers · asked by ani 1 in Astronomy & Space

A city cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little

girl on her new shiny bike stopped beside him. "Nice bike," the cop

said, "did Santa bring it to you?"



"Yep, the little girl said, "he sure did!"



The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $5.00 ticket for

a safety violation. The cop said, "Next year tell Santa to put a reflector

light on the back of it."



The young girl looked up at the cop and said, "Nice horse you got

there sir, did Santa bring it to you?"



"Yes, he sure did, " chuckled the cop.



The little girl looked up at the cop and said, "Next year tell Santa the

dick goes underneath the horse, not on top."

2007-04-06 01:03:01 · 5 answers · asked by Atheism itself is your best shot at heaven !! 7 in Jokes & Riddles

2007-04-06 01:02:38 · 9 answers · asked by ani 1 in Physics

can anyone pls explain this program to me?its an emergency n this is very important for my final yr engnr project.I need the explaination by thursday.so pls help..
#include
#include
#include

static void interrupt IntRoutine();
void Send();
short int Flg=0;
int Cnt = 0,Oflow=0,Mytime=0,Adval,Hbc,Hbr;
char St1[4],St2[4],St4[3];


void main()
{

TRISB = 0x00;
PORTB = 0x00;
TRISD = 0x00;
PORTD = 0x00;
TRISE = 0x00;
TRISC = 0xbf;

ADCON0 = 0x81;
ADCON1 = 0x82;

SPBRG = 64;

TXEN = 1;
SYNC = 0;
BRGH = 1;
SPEN = 1;
CREN = 1;

DelayMs(200);
DelayMs(200);
DelayMs(200);
DelayMs(200);
DelayMs(200);

LCD_SendCmd(0x01);

LCD_SendCmd(0x80);
LCD_puts("Ebc:");

LCD_SendCmd(0x88);
LCD_puts("Tim:");

LCD_SendCmd(0xc3);
LCD_puts("Ebr: Bpm");

T1CON = 0x00; // Enable Timer1
PEIE = 1;
GIE = 1;

TMR1IF = 0;
TMR1IE = 1;
TMR1L = 0xaf;
TMR1H = 0x3c;
TMR1ON = 1;

for(;;)
{

if(Oflow)
{
Oflow = 0;
Mytime++;
}


ADCON0 = 0x81;
DelayUs(50);
ADGO = 1;
while(ADGO) continue;

Adval = (ADRESH * 256) + ADRESL;

if(Adval < 100 && Flg == 0)
{
Hbc++;
Flg = 1;
}

if(Adval > 100 && Flg == 1)
{
Flg = 0;
}

if(Mytime > 3 && Mytime < 60) RD0 = 0;

if(Mytime >= 60)
{
Mytime = 0;
Ebr = Ebc;
if(Ebc > 15)
{
RD0 = 1;
}
Ebc = 0;
}

sprintf(St1,"%3d",Ebc);
LCD_SendCmd(0x84);
LCD_puts(St1);

sprintf(St2,"%3d",Ebr);
LCD_SendCmd(0xc8);
LCD_puts(St2);

sprintf(St4,"%02d",Mytime);
LCD_SendCmd(0x8c);
LCD_puts(St4);

Send();
DelayMs(2);

}

}





static void interrupt IntRoutine()
{

if(TMR1IF)
{
TMR1IF = 0;
Cnt++;
if(Cnt >= 50)
{
Cnt = 0;
Oflow = 1;
}

TMR1ON = 0;
TMR1L = 0xaf;
TMR1H = 0x3c;
TMR1ON = 1;

}

}

2007-04-06 01:02:33 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Programming & Design

i really diddn't say the gross thing.
the gross thing was how to kiss?
it wasen't me and i said pass this to the people you know that i diddn't say the gross question

2007-04-06 01:02:33 · 5 answers · asked by Emily 1 in Psychology

Im 20 yr old muslim girl. dont practice to much but want to start learning more. I had a muslim bf, hes taken my virginity, i thought we were going to get married, but it looks like hes gone off me now, am i ever going to be be able to find a decent husband now? thats all i want. i know whats right or wrong, but i was in love.. i now want to be forgiven?

2007-04-06 01:02:29 · 14 answers · asked by yo 1 in Religion & Spirituality

I just got to work! How is everyone today? Didja miss me? =D

2007-04-06 01:02:09 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Cream and Sugar or Straight

2007-04-06 01:01:43 · 23 answers · asked by Leo 2 in Polls & Surveys

I received a letter telling me to send $1 to 6 people in the letter. There is a several pages to the letter that explains it but in short if you send out 200 copies of the same letter and at only 7.5 percent return you can end up making alot of money because you add your name to the list and people send you $1. It sounds like it would work. Has anyone done this and had results?

2007-04-06 01:01:40 · 11 answers · asked by Sherry C 2 in Personal Finance

2007-04-06 01:01:37 · 3 answers · asked by firexstarz 2 in Books & Authors

I have heard many stories, people saying its not good to drink from the same bottle and on the other hand they are saying it is perfectly safe. I seriously am confused, any suggestions?

2007-04-06 01:01:25 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Non-Alcoholic Drinks

Please please dont give loads of answers to try and convince me either way,i want to know if there are people like me who are confused.

2007-04-06 01:01:20 · 5 answers · asked by smiler 4 in Other - News & Events