All categories - 3 December 2006

Guy driving along one day, takes a short cut to beat the traffic, the road starts to narrow and eventually becomes a single track road. He suddenly has to brake real hard as a chicken runs across the road in front of him. But he has to look again as this was no ordinary chicken… the bastard had three legs. He follows as best he could and the chicken leads him to a farm. As he drives into the farmyard the old farmer says “can I help you? You look lost”. ‘You are not gonna believe this’ says the man ‘but I’ve just seen a three legged chicken’ “Ahh yes” says the farmer, “them, you see its like this , I have a son, a wife and me and we all like a drumstick with our Sunday dinner, so we bred three legged chickens”, ‘What do they taste like’ says the man. “F*ck knows” says the farmer, “we’ve never yet caught one”.

2006-12-03 22:37:54 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

I'm been treated by my doctor, but the waiting lists for most help are very long, and I want to try and help myself as best I can while I wait.
I'm just wondering what I can do to try and make myself feel a little better, right now I'm just struggling to get through each moment, and want things to ease a little bit.
Any help or advice much appreciated. Thanks

2006-12-03 22:37:53 · 22 answers · asked by Natyla 3 in Mental Health

Let me know good beauty parlours in jabalpur for bridal make up as I am new to that place

2006-12-03 22:37:52 · 4 answers · asked by richa d 1 in Other - Beauty & Style

As long as Couso ain't pissed and Juddys there.

2006-12-03 22:37:49 · 8 answers · asked by Phil C 2 in Australian Rules

does anyone know where I can find a book club in Bounremouth, near Poole and Christchurch on the south coast in England?

I'm guessing this is a long shot but I'll ask it anyway.

2006-12-03 22:37:44 · 1 answers · asked by Dan Ln 3 in Books & Authors

2006-12-03 22:37:18 · 11 answers · asked by charlie_is_fit2002 1 in Diet & Fitness

1. Vegetarians coming to dinner ? - simply serve them a nice bit of steak or veal. Since they're always going on about how tofu, quorn, meat substitute etc. 'tastes exactly like the real thing', they won't know the difference.

2. Invited by vegetarians to dinner ? Point out that since you'd no doubt be aware of their special dietary requirements, tell them about yours and ask for a nice steak.

3. Heavy smokers. Don't throw away those filters from the end of your cigarettes. Save them up, at the end of a few years you'll have enough to insulate your loft.

4. Nissan Micra drivers. Before starting a long journey attach a lighted sparkler to the top of your roof. You drive the things like dodgem cars anyway, so it may as well look like one

5. A mouse trap placed on the top of your alarm clock will prevent you from turning over and going back to sleep.

6. AVOID parking tickets by turning your windscreen wipers to 'fast wipe' whenever you leave your car parked illegally

2006-12-03 22:37:16 · 15 answers · asked by JillPinky 7 in Jokes & Riddles

2006-12-03 22:37:15 · 14 answers · asked by Gummi Bear Devourer II 5 in Polls & Surveys

"When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. No contest. Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything we do, every minute of the day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever!

But He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk about a good bullshit story. Holy ****!"

2006-12-03 22:37:14 · 8 answers · asked by White Male Feminist 1 in Religion & Spirituality

2006-12-03 22:37:14 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Pets

Where, when, why, what, who..................
Still bloody nosey... loving your answers to other questions

2006-12-03 22:37:10 · 22 answers · asked by crazeeladee no more 5 in Singles & Dating

My daughter (off sick from school) is laughing at my Black Books dvd with Daniel Moran and Bill Bailey. I love Father Ted, Flying High, Only Fools and Horses. Which have I missed?

2006-12-03 22:37:06 · 17 answers · asked by True Blue Brit 7 in Television

2006-12-03 22:36:59 · 4 answers · asked by 2sweet2b4got10 1 in Men's Health

Personally, I like "Dolphins are just gay sharks"

2006-12-03 22:36:51 · 10 answers · asked by Black&Orange 4 in Polls & Surveys

I recently bought a lot of extracts from newspapers on Weather Report (dates raging from 1969 - 83). I am planning to frame them on a clip board (the front of which being perspex plastic). Is there anything I can do to stop the ink fading, or the clippings bleaching over time? Any ideas?

Many thanks

2006-12-03 22:36:34 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Hobbies & Crafts

yesterday my girlfriend told me that in her dreams she saw me with a shaved head and I looked quite cute with a shaved head.I asked her whether my moustache was shaved too and she said she is not sure about that but she said she can never think of me without a moustache even in her dreams.She has a liking for moustaches !!!

I thought I will give her a surprise by turning her dream into a reality.

But the problem is: I feel a moustache and a shaved head dont go hand in hand and If I shave my moustache too then I am afraid my gf will not take it lightly.

What should I do?

2006-12-03 22:36:26 · 19 answers · asked by sampat 1 in Hair

I would like to cure 3 phobias: needles, rollercoasters & dogs.
How much would hypnosis cost for these?
How many sessios would it take?
Could both issues be dealt with in the same session(s)?

2006-12-03 22:36:15 · 6 answers · asked by 13rich02 2 in Other - General Health Care

2006-12-03 22:36:12 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Pets

2006-12-03 22:36:11 · 10 answers · asked by salstick 6 in Polls & Surveys

im currentlly using a 120 gb sata hard disk on my gigabyte motheboard, ive just aquired a 300gb hard disk aswell, trouble is its an ide hard disk, can i use both on the same motherboard?

2006-12-03 22:36:09 · 7 answers · asked by jamie3984 1 in Other - Hardware

2006-12-03 22:36:06 · 8 answers · asked by Charles 2 in Other - Cars & Transportation

2006-12-03 22:36:00 · 3 answers · asked by SCOTTISH CHEF 1 in Other - United Kingdom

well just decided to find out what you guys are really after.

2006-12-03 22:35:56 · 18 answers · asked by n 2 in Singles & Dating

My boyfriend and I just got engaged, his child who is 9 comes up on the weekends,my children ages 15,14,12 live here full time with us, for his childs whole life it has always been about what he wants , what his baby half sister wants and what his mom wants, my b/f became the typical divorced dad, spoiled him on the weekends, now I like his son alot, but lastnight his ex calls up out of the blue and says their son is not going to come back there, (to our house, because he doesnt' want to , his son gets on the phone, and says to him, that he doesn't ever want to see him again, because he hates my children and the only way he will come back is if my children leave the house. My B/f is very upset at this, he says he doesn't understand why his son won't allow him to be happy, my b/f has in the past done everything for his son, now his son doesn't get toys whenever he wants because money is tight, he doesn't get pizza everynight, I think he is just acting like a spoiled brat.

2006-12-03 22:35:43 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Grade-Schooler

2006-12-03 22:35:41 · 24 answers · asked by الحقيقة 4 in Religion & Spirituality

2006-12-03 22:35:38 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Zoology

2006-12-03 22:35:31 · 11 answers · asked by oops 1 in Marriage & Divorce

2006-12-03 22:35:24 · 3 answers · asked by gokul 1 in Words & Wordplay

I'm not at all fat, but of course I have stretch marks, do they ever go away naturally?

2006-12-03 22:35:11 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Diet & Fitness

she should do some professional course Or she should continue her studies

2006-12-03 22:35:06 · 6 answers · asked by SARASWATI B 1 in Careers & Employment