1. Vegetarians coming to dinner ? - simply serve them a nice bit of steak or veal. Since they're always going on about how tofu, quorn, meat substitute etc. 'tastes exactly like the real thing', they won't know the difference.
2. Invited by vegetarians to dinner ? Point out that since you'd no doubt be aware of their special dietary requirements, tell them about yours and ask for a nice steak.
3. Heavy smokers. Don't throw away those filters from the end of your cigarettes. Save them up, at the end of a few years you'll have enough to insulate your loft.
4. Nissan Micra drivers. Before starting a long journey attach a lighted sparkler to the top of your roof. You drive the things like dodgem cars anyway, so it may as well look like one
5. A mouse trap placed on the top of your alarm clock will prevent you from turning over and going back to sleep.
6. AVOID parking tickets by turning your windscreen wipers to 'fast wipe' whenever you leave your car parked illegally
2006-12-03 22:37:16 · 15 answers · asked by JillPinky 7 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
I'm wetting my knickers with laughter!!!!
2006-12-03 22:39:10 · answer #1 · answered by Dannie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The cannibal who was walking through the jungle when he passed his best friend.
Oh dear, but used to be a good joke.
2006-12-08 12:49:15 · answer #2 · answered by Dr David 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
number 5 is hillearuos need to give it try on my boyfriend for a laugh!
2006-12-07 20:07:11 · answer #3 · answered by foxy lady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lmfaoooooo...loved the mouse trap one, first laugh of the am, thanx, thumbs up
2006-12-04 07:09:13 · answer #4 · answered by coco 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those just might work LOL Those are very funny
2006-12-04 06:42:01 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are a comic genius are you Peter Kaye by any chance.
2006-12-08 08:50:11 · answer #6 · answered by Because I Said So 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good ideas there, very amusing keep it up.
2006-12-04 06:49:34 · answer #7 · answered by Daedalus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's ok. But I think you have posted this twice.
2006-12-09 20:32:47 · answer #8 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have sex with kittens like Lilypond, and always have the same answer!
That's a good one! LOL! =D
2006-12-04 07:36:37 · answer #9 · answered by Minmi 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
nice
2006-12-04 06:52:20 · answer #10 · answered by mr. x 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋