i had a slight arguement with my friend today. Where she offered me a ride home and i wouldnt take it
she wanted to know why i wouldnt take it and why i push people away
i basically told her that she never has to worry about me
shes says that she just wants to help and cares that if i ever needed her she was there
then she sent me an email saying this
I just wanted to apologize for how hard I pushed you tonight. I had absolutely no right to butt into your personal buisness like I did. I hope that you can forgive me. Just please understand that it hurts me so much to see my friends in pain. And no, you are not "dragging me down" and yes, I do care, and I care on my own free will. I'm truly greatful that you accepted my offer for the ride because you live a long ways away. Know this: if you need me, I'm here for you...and I know Will is too. You've helped me so much in the past, I wouldn't be as happy as I am now if it weren't for you...so please let me do something for you in return. Even if what you is for me to stay away now, I will. I apologize again. Good night mon ami.
Your friend
Christa
so then i sent her this
i saying this as softly as I can
your not sorry ok
you did nothing wrong
im going to say it again
you did absolutely nothing wrong
its me Christa
i always pushed away its come from my experiences
its the way ive been brought up
I wont ask anyone for a dollar, i wont ask anyone for a ride its just the way i am
if i had to walk 3 miles out of my way to help you or anyone else out i would because that was never done for me
I truly appreciate the care you give and what you both did tonight
its just i never had that before i never had that caring
i didnt know how to react
if you want to know whats really going on with me right now i would tell you
i dont want anything in return as far as im concered i didnt do anything for you that you wouldnt do for me
i just want you to be yourself
thats it
i want you to laugh at my jokes when you think there funny i want you to smile when you want to smile
watching you or anyone else laugh because of something i did or said gives me more than you could imagine
Christa i know you still dont want to hear this
im the last person you ever need to worry about
i think its spectacular how you care after i say that
ill find my way through anything ill go over anybody
I would never hurt you.
i would never tell you to go away ever
im sorry for what happenend. Ill take responsiblity.
thank you Christa you gave me something i never had.
if you ever need me for anything im right here
ill always your shoulder to fall back on
i then got this from her
Hey Bill!!
Don't worry, we're fine. I'm not mad or anything even remotely close, just concerned. The only reason why I didn't reply back sooner was because my computer caught a nasty virus and I gave it to Will's mom's computer as well. That turned into an ordeal and my computer survived but Will's wasn't so lucky (if you haven't talked to him lately, that would probably be the reason why).
So yeah, sure, we can talk tomorrow. I'm in the cafeteria in the mornings, you can probably pull me aside then. But yeah, Will was really concerned as well, we both want you to be happy and stress-free. Last nigth when I was with Will until 11:00pm trying to get his computer running and while he was stressing over that, he was all like "I really hope Bill's okay". I agreed with him. We both care about you and we both are willing to help in any way that we can, promise. So don't be afraid to talk to Will either, he would probably also understand because he's a guy and all. But if you really want to talk to me alone, that's fine too. Well I have to check on my brownies now so that they don't burn, talk tomorrow then.
Feel better mon ami
Christa
i wonder though if we are okay. i saw her today and things were fine, but i got this feeling like i gave her the idea that i dont want her to care about me. I get this feeling that ive just got to say exactly whats on my mind. To just spill it out. That if i dont say it that she is going to stop showing that care. so should i once and for all should i let it all out or has that already been done.
2006-11-20
13:32:01
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4 answers
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