Do you find this funny?
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly
>>>>speak.
>>>>After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
>>>>The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous
>>>>on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If
>>>>I start to get nervous, I take a sip."
>>>>
>>>>So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice.
>>>>At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.
>>>>He pr oceeded to talk up a storm.
>>>>Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the
>>>>following note on the door:
>>>>1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
>>>>2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.
>>>>3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.
>>>>4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
>>>>5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ***.
>>>>6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
>>>>7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy,
>>>>Junior and the spook.
>>>>8) David slew Goliath; he did not kick the **** out of him.
>>>>9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey,
>>>>don't say he was stoned off his ***.
>>>>10)We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
>>>>11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "Take
>>>>this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me".
>>>>
>>>>12)The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry".
>>>>13)The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub
>>>>thanks for the grub, Yeah God.
>>>>14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St.
>>>>Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
2006-06-30
06:52:49
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8 answers
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Brutal honesty is best
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Jokes & Riddles