Long question short, because of the limit. I fear death badly, I get actual physical tics from thinking of it, even passingly. I think of the nothingness, the fact that I (as a thinking entity) will not continue life in any way, shape, or form. That I will cease to be, and that nothing will come to my rescue, because no one will want to in the future, assuming they could ressurect people. I don't care about impacting lives, only my own, and the thought of all the things I'm going to miss after I die, added to everything else, almost always reduces me to a sobbing fool. So much so, that I can't even sleep at times, and more often than not have to exhaust myself by staying up much later than I should, simply to avoid the whole process of thinking of it before sleeping. I am a fierce Atheist, as well, so I have no faith in an afterlife, which only compounds my problems. Plus, since I'm so afraid of death, I don't live life "dangerously", and don't want to, and thus, don't accomplish much.
2006-12-20
05:21:51
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24 answers
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asked by
the_311_saint
3