Pediatrician, Psychologist...who do I go to about questions about 3 year old's behavior?

Question

I have a 3 year old. He stays with his aunt (since birth) 3 days a week, and we have started, for about 3 months, taking him to a family friend, who homeschools, for preschool. He was fine the first week, but now it has gotten to the point where he won't get up, won't get dressed, he stood at the door and cried this morning, AND THEN, when I drop him off, he goes hysterical...crying like crazy and won't let go. Who do I go to for a professional opinion on this..my doctor or a psychologist, or anyone else?

Answer 1

I would first try to investigate what brought about the change..... You need to talk to him to find out why he is getting so upset. Three year olds have a hard time explaining but they can do a pretty good job if we try to listen and read between the lines....maybe he's afraid of something....how well do you know the family friend? Does she discipline your son, what about the other children there that she homeschools, did something happen between your son and one of them...have you asked the family friend if she has noticed anything? You need to talk to him first...be very patient and talk to him when he's not upset...try the evening hours when he's calm...start with small questions and it may take more than one session......You may not need a professional just yet.....I think as adults we underestimate our children.....He's CLEARLY saying something and it seems he's really afraid, that's why he's clinging to you for security. You just have to dig a little bit to find out what's going on. I wish you the best of luck....

Answer 2

Talk to your Pediatrician about finding a good Child Psychologist. You may have to get his/her referral for your insurance to cover any visit to the Psychologist. Also the Pediatrician maybe able to help with some general ideas of what is causing the problem and fixes for it before going to the extreme of therapy.

Answer 3

pediatricians are trained in child behavior too. kids' emotions can be random and extreme, especially when there's change. kids thrive on consistency and predictability. it makes them feel secure. however, if this is where your child needs to be (due to cost, location, time, etc.) and everything is proven to be safe, he CAN adapt to his new surroundings. allow him to bring a comfort item and let the provider know his particular likes/dislikes.

he could be throwing a fit because he's being encouraged to learn or try new things (preschool vs. aunt's house). my 5 year old is a very stubborn kid and gives up easilly, resulting in a lot of crying and tantrums. it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with the school/daycare.

my (very soon to be) 3 year old starts to freak when we get close to his daycare center, but he's ok shortly after i leave. you may consider "hiding" in your friend's house and supervising your child. have your friend let you in the back door or something. i've done this before with in-home care providers and my boys would be calm in about five minutes.

don't get me wrong. something could be upsetting him that needs seriously looked into. take no risks, DO see SOMEBODY, but understand that it's just how kids are sometimes.

Answer 4

I also agree with the others. Don't make him go anymore, something doesn't seem right here. Ask him if someone is doing anything to him and let him know it is okay to tell you. Reassure him that he can tell you anything and let him know you are there for him. Even if it is just that he doesn't like it there it should be looked into.
Your pediatrician could also recommend a psychologist for you to take him to if you don't know one already.

Answer 5

You should take your son to his pediatrician to voice your concerns. He or she can get a better perspective from you on the situation and point you in the right direction as to services (psychiatrist, psychologist, counselor, etc.) that you might need. It's quite possible that this is a normal reaction for your son, given his situation. Kids react differently to different situations.... Good luck. I hope everything works out for you....

Answer 6

I agree with compassionate angel something is going on there, maybe she is just mean to him who knows but kids sometimes know what is best. A psychologist will be able to help more than a pediatrician on this.

Answer 7

I want my kids to have psychological evaluations for other reasons so I called the pediatrician and they said the pediatrician has to see them first and recommend a psychologist eval, so I would start with the pediatrician.

Answer 8

i was the same way when i was a kid. my parents tried both resources. plesase don't do that to your child. i just think your child just need more time spent with them, but if you need good answers on that subject take you child to the doctor before a psychologist. I am now in the navy and i found out half of my life was wasted because i was always on drugs i didn't even need. good luck

Answer 9

Bring him to an accredited preschool--there has to be a serious reason he is going "hysterical" at the thought of going back to the friend's house. I would be suspicious. You NEVER know people as well as you think you do, and your child may not tell you things out of fear of being punished.

Answer 10

Im sorry Ive gotta say this rings all kinds of alarm bells for me! You really need to get to the bottom of why hes so scared to be there! Through recent and on going experiences we have gotten a lot of experience on the way children behave when they are hurt frightened and abused, and it runs a lot like your sons behaviour. I hope Im wrong, but I still really really hope you find out for sure.