I want to quit drinking at home- and I believe i can do it- but my husband wants me to go to AA...?

Question

IS IT POSSIBLE TO GO TO MEETINGS, AND LEARN HOW TO DRINK "SOCIALLY" AND THE CORRECT WAY-- OR IS IT ALL ABOUT STOP DRINKING FOREVER

Answer 1

You have to stop completely, at least at first, and I mean for decades, before you can even think about drinking socially, if even at all. For almost ever alcoholic there is no going back to drinking socially. Once you have one you will start drinking heavy again. My grandfather was an alcoholic who did drink again after 25 years of being sober, and was able to control himself, but that is rarer then a blue moon.

Suggestion is to quit all together, don't even attempt, ever, social drinking.

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It was quite easy to read through your question. You want an excuse to continue drinking. You have to get yourself well again, for you and your family. What good are you if you are 'drinking socially' and then 'closet drinking' just so that you can look good for your family. If you want to continue drinking, then do it on your own, don't bring your family down with you. What will happen is your kids will wind up being alcolholics as well. Do you want that for them?

Answer 2

Can you consistently limit how much you drink every time that you drink? I'm talking about two or three drinks per drinking session, one drinking session per day. If not then you probably will never be able to "drink socially". Do you drink for the effect? Do like the feeling of getting drunk? Do you continue to drink to keep that feeling? If the answer to any those questions is yes then you are not a "social drinker", you have a drinking problem. This does not necessarily mean you are an alcoholic but you need to accept that you must stop drinking now or you will pass over the line into addiction.
If you have been drinking for a long period of time you should consider checking yourself into a medically supervised detox center. Alcohol withdrawal can cause convulsions and seizures and lead to stroke or death if not treated immediately. Once you have successfully detoxed the center will probably start you attending support meetings. AA is not the only recovery program, just the most well known. If you are not open to the idea of God or a "Higher Power" you might consider LifeRing or Rational Recovery. Good luck.

Answer 3

AA is not about learning how to drink socially, it's about helping you stop drinking alcohol if alcohol is interfering with or controlling your life. Is it? Do YOU think you have a real problem? It sounds like you might if you "believe" you can stop drinking at home....you sound unsure about that which makes me think that for some reason you are compelled to drink...if you are compelled to drink then I would consider that a problem. However, until YOU think there is a problem it likely won't do you any good to go to any kind of meeting. You have to decide that for yourself, I have known people who have gone into various types of treatment because someone else thought they had a problem, but since they didn't see it as a problem it didn't help them. I would say that you should stop drinking and if you find that you can't, then you will know that you do indeed have a problem with alcohol and maybe you need to seek help. AA would be a good place to start. Good luck!

Answer 4

Caps off please. Easier to read with all lower case, or typical sentence case. Thanks!

AA is about stopping drinking. They typically won't discuss social drinking with you. Alcoholics tend to not be able to socially drink and control their disease. It's an all or nothing situation.

Stop drinking at home and see how that works for you. Have a cocktail or two when you go out, and see if you can keep from getting drunk every time you drink. See if you are comfortable not drinking at home, but only when out at parties or having dinner at a restaurant.

If this appears to be a problem for you, then I'd recommend you leave the alcohol behind (AA can help support you in that). Drinking is not worth the other things in your life you could lose, if you cannot control it.

Good luck!

Answer 5

All you can do is try it. AA is actually not about "drinking correctly" or "quitting forever." Some people are alcoholic, some not. Some may experience difficulties in their lives because of alcohol, but still may not be alcoholic.

If you are an "alcoholic of the hopeless variety," then total abstinence is the only recommendation. But you may not be. Go to the meetings if you want and find out. Knowledge is power. Your husband can go to the meetings with you.

Or try to quit on your own. You may be able to control and enjoy your drinking.

I know for me, I can absolutely control and enjoy my drinking - but not at the same time. If I'm controlling it, I'm not enjoying it; and if I'm enjoying it, I'm not controlling it.

Love Jack

Answer 6

Try this book: "What You Can Change and What You Can't" by Martin Seligman, M.D. He suggests that for people who drink, the following results happen by age 65: one-third are still drinking, one-third have stopped drinking, and one third are dead. He says that it's possible to stop drinking by yourself, without AA, and that it works for some people.
It depends on what kind of drinker you are, and you know what you are. Do you binge drink and then stay away for days or weeks at a time? Can you stop after one or two drinks? Do you drink in the morning? Do you spend a lot of time thinking about your next drink? Only you know the answers.
If you can have a drink or two and then stop, and not think about it, then you can probably cut a deal with your husband to drink only occasionally. If you're drinking more than about seven drinks a week, then you're probably in trouble.
Why don't you try to give up drinking at for a month, and see how you do? Then talk to your husband about having one drink a night, perhaps twice a week, when you go out. See how you do with that. If he sees that you can control your drinking, he probably will stop talking to you about it. But if you can't do this, then you do need to get to AA.
I truly wish you luck!

Answer 7

Only you can determine if you have a drinking problem. And no one can say you are an Alcoholic, but you! AA meetings are a good start. If your drinking is effecting your relationships with others or you even think you have a problem...then you probably do, or you wouldn't be questioning yourself or your Husband.

Why don't you try to stop drinking just for today. Just one day at a time. Each day it gets easier and easier.

Depending on your alcohol consumption, you may need to Detox in a local hospital or detox center.

Another suggestion is to call the phone number in the phone book listed under Alcoholics Anonymous...there is always someone to talk with that will help you answer any questions you have.

And you can always talk to me.

Answer 8

Go to AA....and stop drinking. You may discover that you are an alcoholic and yes that does mean you'll need to stop drinking forever. Your husband cannot call you an alcoholic, only you can diagnose your disease and that diagnosis can only be done at AA meetings where you will listen, listen, and listen. Be open with yourself and honest. Listen. Do 90 meetings in 90 days and listen and stop drinking for those 90 days. Try. Listen and don't try to share just yet. Just listen. If you are an alcoholic you will always be an alcholic but you don't have to be a drunk alcoholic. It works if you work it so work it YOU are worth it!!! God Bless!

Answer 9

If you have a problem, then you won't be able to stop drinking on your own. You will become a closet drunk. There are many types of alcoholics, some drink on weekends, some just at social events, some just when there is no one home. They are all alcoholics, and they eventually know it. You're lucky that your husband wants you, and loves you enough to turn you toward AA. If you really want to stop, it works.

Answer 10

If you've tried to control or stop drinking on your own and can't seem to you might be an alcoholic. To be honest it's not all bad. If you go to meetings you can try it to drink socially but don't tell them that. Just sit there and listen to what they have to say and go about your life as you please. I believe that you'll hear some things in AA that will really hit home and you might even like it eventually. Good luck.

Answer 11

I believe AA is for individuals who plan to stop drinking all together because they have found that there is a problem with their drinking. For some social drinking is the gateway to alcoholism. Just make sure this is what you want and not your husband