UNEMPLOYED
Hey there to all. I would like to tell you a story.
Okay. So, I am unemployed. This is by choice. I could be working right now but I chose to leave my job. This is a story about why I left my job, and an amazing reality in which many people probably stay in situations such as mine and do absolutely nothing. Did I do the right thing? Judge for yourself.
HOW ABOUT THIS?
You work in an office, no physical labour, no work to do – ok you answer the phone and transfer calls – but there are hardly any calls, you work 8 hours a day, no one to talk to, but you have people check up on you once in a while to make sure that your not goofing off for example: reading a book, listening to music…etc. Anyways, you go home at night feeling unfulfilled, like you accomplished absolutely nothing and that you feel like your life is meaningless, and you honestly question why you are on this earth.
STORY BEGINS
I had a job working in an office like this. At first I didn’t want the job, I had a bad feeling about it. I should have not taken the job, but out of desperation I did. I stayed for about 7 months and then decided that it wasn’t for me, for my own reasons, good ones that it would be better for my mental health to leave.
This is what a typical day entailed:
•Get to work, check the fax, check the email, get the mail
•Start my computer, if it even gets used
•Answer the phone the way the boss so distinctly preferred, i.e.: Like a robot/answering machine, then transfer the call (by the way the phone hardly rang)
•Clean my office (just for something to do)
•Wait
•Wait
•Wait
•Oh and go on the internet (which was only accessible on a computer in a separate room) and check the job bank about 10 million times a day – so I could get the HELL out of this place!
Let’s put it this way my job was sooo monotonous that I literally would sit there by myself and wander into my own mind…oh what a dangerous place. I had no one to talk to because my office was secluded and I was not aloud to leave my office because I would get into trouble. I had to be by the phone at all times (in case it rang). I asked for things to do during the day even though I would try to find things on my own but that was kind of hard at times and as always my requests fell flat. My boss treated me like I was dumb, he picked at everything I did……and I didn’t do much, the job description was pretty bleak. Like I wasn’t answering the phone the right way - the 2 minute long intro that I had to say which every caller interrupted – I would try to shorten it, he didn’t like that even though I explained to him why I shortened it; I wasn’t picking up the mail early enough in the morning – even though he was hardly ever there and it was usually at times where there were meetings so of course I was unable to pick it up right away; I wasn’t stamping the ‘received date stamp’ on the mail in the right spot – even though you could still see it and it was just a stamp that said when the mail was received and sometimes I would miss stamping a piece of mail by accident and he literally said that he was thinking of firing me before my three months probationary period were up, during an evaluation the one day ALL because I missed stamping the ‘received date stamp’ on a piece of mail a couple of times and it would be a piece of mail so stupid like a flyer. I found that to be pretty damn petty. He was anal though. In any case, I did what he asked, improved my errors and sucked up and kissed ***, but for whatever reason I just didn’t hit his radar in the way the other girl in the office did who I feel was favoured.
THE OTHER GIRL
The other girl in the office who started the same time as me had a more advanced job in the office, one that I too was capable of doing but with brief training because I am at the entry level. Her office was conjoined, so she was able to socialize with other people during the day and she was always somewhat busy because she actually had work that needed to be done, even though all she did all day was talk either on the phone or to other people. Me, I was down the hall in what I call my ‘prison’ office, alone with nothing to do. Anyway, the other girl was more liked, and I think it was because she was older (30) she was a loud mouth, bossy and chatty, her job was more ‘important’ and NEVER repeat NEVER did she get into trouble for talking even though that was all she did all day with the boss’s son. While I would sit in my office, listening to them chatting and laughing down the hall, all I could think was ‘damn, if that were me, the boss would be having a **** fit and he would pull me into his office and have the talk’ – like he had already done to me before. But no, he liked her, she could do no wrong. I still can’t figure it out.
Anyway….continuing…..
I think that because I am young, quiet, short, skinny, pretty, blonde I was considered a dumb, ditzy blonde, in which I was paid no respect. I am however, smart, have education, experience and many skills to offer in the administrative field. Working at this place made me feel like I was good for nothing and would be better off pouring coffee - at least I would feel like I had accomplished something during the day!
THE BREAKING POINT
The one day the boss asked me to make travel arrangements. I had never traveled myself, nor had I made travel arrangements for anyone else in any of my previous jobs. So, I told him that, and asked him how he would like me to make his travel arrangements. He told me through ‘Travelocity’. I was not familiar with ‘Travelocity’ then (even though I use it now and think it is awesome). So I told him that I was unfamiliar with ‘Travelocity’ and asked him if he could go over with me for the first time making his travel arrangements just because I had never done it before. He took one disgusting look at me (shaking his head and furrowing his eyebrows) and said, “SO, you don’t know how to use a computer then. I see.” ME, dumb founded, my jaw dropped, I wanted to pulverize this *******. I had 3 interviews that were each 1 hour long, it took them 5 weeks to hire me, during each interview I was asked the same questions over and over again, and I was even given tests. Never in my life have I went through so much ******** for an interview for a job that a monkey could do or a good answering machine JUST to answer a god damn phone…SO what is the point that I am trying to get at here…WELL on MY resume and during MY interviews with this jackass I told him and he read for himself about all of my computer expertise, programming experience etcetera AND that I created and designed a website ALL BY MYSELF for the first company I worked for. NOW, DO YOU THINK THAT I CAN’T USE A COMPUTER **** FACE!!! That was what I wanted to say. But instead I took it, he was the boss right!!! And that was just one of a number of times that this mofo insulted me and my intelligence. Finally, one day I had had enough of the ******** and called him on it, hoping that he would just fire me because quitting at this point in my financial state would have made it easier, for him to just fire me rather than me quit. The one day he insulted me about my math skills, because I couldn’t do this one math equation in my head and he is very good in math. So anyway, he insulted me, I took it, he walked away and I cried to myself (literally, I quietly bawled by myself in my office, he made me feel that stupid and that small and worthless). It was at this point that I decided to speak up. I knew that from this point on that speaking up and standing up for myself to him was something that I had to do but I also knew that it would make things awkward, however I had to do it. So when he came back into my office to get something I made myself distant with him, he asked me if there was something wrong and I told him. I said, “You made me feel very humiliated and ashamed of myself because I couldn’t do that equation in my head. I just want you to know that I am not stupid and that because I am slower at doing something it doesn’t mean that I can’t do it. You really offended me, and it wasn’t just what you said it was how you said it, if you really feel that I am not performing up to par and that I am incompetent then maybe I should get another job because right now at this point, I feel that you don’t want me working here and that I am not doing a good job, and frankly if this is the way its going to be I would rather work at KFC.” Though, this move however courageous or stupid, it made me feel better, but unfortunately it didn’t quite change the situation. The awkwardness became worse and he still picked at me. I felt like I was walking on egg shells around him, and sticking up for myself really didn’t make anything better. SO, I gave up and left the job.
YOU BE THE JUDGE
Many of you may think that I am an overly sensitive person, and that I should have stayed at the job, and not taken anything personally. Believe me being unemployed right now without work, knowing that my EI is about to end, I definitely think about that and question my actions. What you also don’t know is each and every moment that occurred in the 1200 hours out of the 7 months that I spent working there, there were many things like the files that the other girl found (or as I call snooped for) about our interviews and how she had nothing but check marks beside the questions they asked her and mine had question marks, and then beside the project on my resume ‘designed and created website’ it had a note: Call this employer to make sure that she actually made a website. This FLOORED me! Not only that but also she bragged that she only had a 15 minute interview and was hired the next day and me well you know (3) - 1 hour interviews and 5 weeks. Now you may be one of those people rooting for me saying ‘You go girl!’ But I just want to say that I have a great sense of humor, I can take a joke and I can also take constructive criticism, heck I welcome it, what I can’t take is direct digs from someone that insults my integrity and intelligence. The point I am trying to make here is that if you are doing something that is making you unhappy to the point that on the way home from work you hope someone hits you or you run into a tree then you need to make some changes. I am not mentally ill, nor have I ever been. I will be honest, I have had a tough road growing up, but I am an educated person with commonsense and an intelligent human being with feelings. I don’t think anyone could have stayed where I was for much longer. I guess what I am trying to do is convince myself that it was okay to quit a job even though society will judge me and may not understand what I did. I don’t think it is good to regret decisions you make or actions you take, I do think it is right to analyze them later on, but what you do at the time you usually do because it felt right at the time. I quit for my mental health reasons. My doctor even said that anyone being alone for 8 hours a day with nothing to do, with someone picking at them is not a healthy situation. I know that I did the right thing, but sitting at home, waiting for the perfect job and taking a factory job in the mean time I found not necessarily worse than where I came from but pretty damn equal, which seems to ask the question of myself, did I do the right thing? I know I did, but of course I am human and that is why I question it.
You be the judge, what do you think? I welcome your comments. Not that it will change how I feel, what happened or what I have done – but I am curious to see other peoples’ opinions.
2006-08-22
15:12:03
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12 answers
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asked by
dreamgirl47315
1
in
Careers & Employment