My live-in boyfriend of 2 years has had an extremely bad relationship with his father all of his life. His father is a clinically diagnosed narcissist who abuses everyone that comes within reach. I have been a victim of his verbal assaults and his sexual advances. His mother enables his father to the extreme and their family has suffered beyond words for almost 40 years. I got caught up in the mess and now my boyfriend is defending his father. Should I just walk away?
His father has gone so far as to say that he isn’t his real son. My boyfriend recalls being a young boy and hearing this. A few months ago his father said the same thing again. Recently, I found literature about coping with dysfunctional families and my boyfriend really showed his willingness to finally get some help. He read everything he could get his hands on and I totally supported whatever he wanted to do. I never meddled or forced anything upon him. He was so grateful that I was there for him. I spent hours researching and went so far as to buy him books with my own money. He decided to confront his father in a letter and basically cut off ties with his parents until they get some intensive therapy. They are emotionally draining and they call constantly to harass us. Last night my boyfriend and I were in a little argument and I said “What’s wrong with you?” And he got so upset and he said “Nothing, DAD!” I felt really insulted to be called that so, in response I replied with calling him my ex-husband’s name. Yes, all very immature! Well, what happened next shocked me. My boyfriend told me off and told me how much he cares about his dad and he doesn’t like me badmouthing his father and he doesn’t want me saying anything about him because he cares for him and loves him. I felt like the biggest fool. I felt like I put my neck out there and I did everything to support his quest for a life as an adult and as a survivor is his father’s abuse. Then, he turned on me. I am going to mind my own business. Am I wrong to now walk away and let him fend for himself?
2007-11-27
05:34:14
·
8 answers
·
asked by
K H
1
in
Family