There are times you just have to laugh. I'm proofreading like mad, and I left an extra four lines in the first version. Thank you Scotty for pointing it out, and for the other helpful comments. If I'm going to call it a sonnet it should have 14 lines.
This is my second sonnet so any suggestions or comments are welcome. Thank you.
When We’re Together
We live with these complex redundancies,
What we touch we hurry to touch again.
We overlook these inconsistencies,
What we feel we struggle to still contain.
For in these moments something new remains,
The sky still shatters, stars fall raining down,
Rivulets mark the night with sweet refrains,
We melt into each other start to drown.
Yet do I truly end and you begin?
Each nudge ignites the tinder, smoke does wreathe.
It seems as though we’re trapped within this skin
For if I pull away will I still breathe.
To separate brings such a heavy toll
When we are torn apart so less than whole.
2007-09-12
04:00:56
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11 answers
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asked by
Todd
7
in
Poetry