All categories - 7 September 2007

Subject: How to be annoying

1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2. Sit in your yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it with your pen while talking to others.
5. Sing along at the opera.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant material in scientific papers and "cc."them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the cartridge across the room.
14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
16. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
20. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.
21. type only in lowercase.
22. don t use any punctuation either
23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?", "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26. Try playing the William Tell Overture (The Lone Ranger Theme) by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
27. Ask people what gender they are.
28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
29. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
30. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble the answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
33. Tell your friends 4 days prior that you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood
34. Send this list to everyone in your email address book even if they sent it to you or asked you not to send things like this.

2007-09-07 21:08:13 · 21 answers · asked by pheonix140180 3 in Jokes & Riddles

2007-09-07 21:07:54 · 7 answers · asked by natz0112 1 in Football (American)

2007-09-07 21:07:51 · 4 answers · asked by onlord2004 2 in Maintenance & Repairs

When I was around eleven, I met a boy my age in a summer camp. We sort of hated each other. We teased, we punched, we hit, we insulted, there was absolutely nothing to laugh over about it. I hoped never to meet him again.

A few years later, in some strange twist of fate, we meet each other again. I've grown out of my childish hatred, but it seems he didn't. As a teenager, even if he doesn't hit me, he insults me and makes me feel horrible. I don't want to fight. I just want us to be okay with each other. I've tried apologizing and everything, but he takes it as a cheesy trick. Help, anyone?

2007-09-07 21:07:21 · 7 answers · asked by Nina 2 in Friends

2007-09-07 21:06:44 · 16 answers · asked by Katsika 2 in Reality Television

they have children and a spouse that someone who is single and childless does not have any "responsabilities"?

I hear this all the time I am often told " oh you are so luckey,wait untill you get married and have children".

First off don't assume I am getting married and want children and Second- it's not luck that I am not married and childless,it was my choice.


Do they think marriage and children are end all be all? because I don't.

2007-09-07 21:06:39 · 2 answers · asked by BLACK GUY! ♣ 1 in Other - Society & Culture

know that there was something you wanted to say or do for someone you loved and can no longer do it because they have passed away? my mother used to drink coffe every day ,all day long . she would add ice to it and it would just make me wonder why she would do this ,if coffee was "meant" to be hot when drinking.of course this was before iced coffee was introduced at mc d's,baskin robbins and so on. well i would have loved to taken her out for one of these,as she used to make her own by just adding the ice.anyone else out there feel the same about someone they never had a chance to say or do something for.? sorry this is such a long question,but helps to know if there are others out there the same as i.

2007-09-07 21:06:37 · 2 answers · asked by fishin for answer 3 in Other - Family & Relationships

equilibrium

2007-09-07 21:06:26 · 4 answers · asked by chadcb 1 in Physics

2007-09-07 21:06:19 · 11 answers · asked by Sky Guy 5 in Polls & Surveys

2007-09-07 21:06:15 · 5 answers · asked by jan62apr96 1 in Politics

2007-09-07 21:06:05 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Food & Drink

and if so, did you ever wonder too, how much Christ would have cherish her since she occupied such an important in the Catholic Church for past 2000 years?

And wouldn't it be sad when people make all sort of accusations against His beloved mother?

2007-09-07 21:05:31 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality

2007-09-07 21:05:31 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Politics & Government

Which Bianca Williams's (My online friend from USA) smile do you think she looks better? Why?

http://item.slide.com/r/1/34/i/j6tQUXAFBN89DMqs0tTwe7I8cch6-93g/
http://item.slide.com/r/1/34/i/dHzwoA9sb8xrs4YxYuC4JHQVbJH6U0Rz/

Teeth smile or close lip smile? Why?

2007-09-07 21:05:20 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Did Ronald "eff" us too ??? When did the "effing" start ???.... Just wondering what you thought as we all go the way of the cheapo-mexicanicrats.....

2007-09-07 21:04:58 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics

2007-09-07 21:04:51 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

WHAT A PERFECT WOMAN WOULD SAY.........

1. I'll swallow it all . . . I love the taste.
2. Are you sure you've had enough to drink?
3. I'm bored. Let's shave my p@#$%!
4. Oh come on, what do ya say we get a good porno movie, a case of beer, a few joints, and have my friend Tammy over for a threesome!
5. God..if I don't get to blow you soon, I swear I'm gonna bust!
6. I know it's a lot tighter back there but would you please try again?
7. You're so sexy when you're hungover.
8. I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping.
9. Let's subscribe to Hustler.
10. Would you like to watch me go down on my girlfriend?
11. Say, let's go down to the mall so you can check out women's asses.
12. I'll be out painting the house.
13. I love it when you play golf on Sunday's, I just wish you had time to play on Saturday too.
14. Honey..our new neighbor's daughter is nude sunbathing again, come see!
15. I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.
16. No, No, I'll take the car to have the oil changed.
17. Your mother did a great job raising you.
18. Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine's day thing and buy yourself new clubs.
19. I understand fully...our anniversary comes every year. You go hunting with the guys, it's a wonderful stress reliever.
20. Shouldn't you be down at the bar with your buddies?
21. Not the king mall again!, come on let's go to that new strip joint!
22. Listen, I make enough money for the both of us, why don't you retire and get that nagging handicap down to 7 or 8.
23. You need your sleep ya big silly, now stop getting up for the night feedings.
24. That was a great fart! Do another one!
25. I signed up for yoga so that I can get my ankles behind my head for ya...

2007-09-07 21:04:43 · 21 answers · asked by pheonix140180 3 in Jokes & Riddles

2007-09-07 21:04:40 · 24 answers · asked by $mitty Cent 2 in Polls & Surveys

can anyone give me a good example answer

2007-09-07 21:03:53 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Philosophy

Don't you think she is carried away by her beauty and fame?Concentrating more on the world outside tennis.

According to me it's the fact that she is carried away with her fame.Compare her with Men's no. 1 Roger both are like opp.poles.

2007-09-07 21:03:41 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous in Tennis

What is the maximum distance he can be from where he started

2007-09-07 21:03:35 · 6 answers · asked by jobees 6 in Polls & Surveys

And before all you teenagers say that you're too young ..... I started going grey when I wa nine years old, by the time I was 15, I had a grey 'Mallen' streak.

2007-09-07 21:02:52 · 43 answers · asked by elflaeda 7 in Polls & Surveys

Can't Vegans and meat eaters just get along?

2007-09-07 21:02:04 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Vegetarian & Vegan

2007-09-07 21:01:57 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-09-07 21:01:57 · 12 answers · asked by Sky Guy 5 in Polls & Surveys

2007-09-07 21:01:33 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality

2007-09-07 21:01:09 · 12 answers · asked by ? 5 in Polls & Surveys

but what if the reason is a mistake? you make the decision when you are confused?

2007-09-07 21:00:51 · 15 answers · asked by LiFE 1 in Singles & Dating

Who do you choose-

Marge Simpson -or-- Lois Griffin
Homer Simpson -or- Petter Griffin
Lisa Simpson -or- Meg Griffin
Bart Simpson -or- Chris Griffin
Maggie Simpson -or- Stewie Griffin

2007-09-07 21:00:41 · 22 answers · asked by ♕Soulful Dreamer♕ 5 in Polls & Surveys

I've been friend's with this guy for sometime now and he always treats me very sweetly, but the other day I was talking to him about finding him a nice, pretty, smart girl with no crazy drama or baggage, I told him that they do exist and he anwsered with " I know you're one of them" later on he told me something at which I replied "us classy girls don't show our thongs when we are wearing pants" and he said looking at me and smiling " I know but one can imagine". Now, does this mean he's flirting w/ me and if so does that mean he likes me?

2007-09-07 21:00:33 · 12 answers · asked by Danny82 2 in Singles & Dating