Mr. Binkles, my invisible floating manatee pal, arrived for our daily breakfast meeting carrying a bloody pillow case.
"Gosh, Mr. Binkles," I said, lowering my tea cup, "that's one ghastly looking item you've got there!"
"Here," said the kindly manatee, handing me the pillow case. As he feasted on toaster strudel, I peered inside.
"My God," I said, poking through the gristly contents, "It's the cut-up remains of that pesky Jared, the former Subway Sandwich commercial guy!"
"And looking thinner than ever!" chortled the mammal, "surprised?"
"Well, yes," I said, handing back the bag as the distant din of police sirens grew steadily louder and closer. "But why?"
"Didn't you once say you wanted a blood-speckled case full of mangled Subway's pest sans fists and knees?"
"No, I said I'd like a blue deco vase full of mingled baby's breath and swiss pansies."
Mr. Binkles paused.
"Boy, did I ever hear THAT one wrong!"
I explained this to the cops, but I'm still in jail.
2007-08-29
17:16:08
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19 answers
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