With imaginary friends like these, who needs imaginary enemies?

Question

Mr. Binkles, my invisible floating manatee pal, arrived for our daily breakfast meeting carrying a bloody pillow case.

"Gosh, Mr. Binkles," I said, lowering my tea cup, "that's one ghastly looking item you've got there!"

"Here," said the kindly manatee, handing me the pillow case. As he feasted on toaster strudel, I peered inside.

"My God," I said, poking through the gristly contents, "It's the cut-up remains of that pesky Jared, the former Subway Sandwich commercial guy!"

"And looking thinner than ever!" chortled the mammal, "surprised?"

"Well, yes," I said, handing back the bag as the distant din of police sirens grew steadily louder and closer. "But why?"

"Didn't you once say you wanted a blood-speckled case full of mangled Subway's pest sans fists and knees?"

"No, I said I'd like a blue deco vase full of mingled baby's breath and swiss pansies."

Mr. Binkles paused.

"Boy, did I ever hear THAT one wrong!"

I explained this to the cops, but I'm still in jail.

Answer 1

Poor you, choosing an imaginary friend who is auditively challenged. Might I suggest, in future, that you ensure that imaginary friends are equipped with full sensory capacity?

As your imagination is so fruitful, I suggest you invent an imaginary muscly, dominant chap to protect you in prison, until your imaginary crack attorney arrives to whip out a stunning piece of evidence in your favour at precisely the right moment during your trial, in order to stun the jury into gasps of surprise, which will lead to the inevitable annoyed gavel-rap from the frustrated judge as he announces "case dismissed". With your creative skill Mr Dalek, anything is possible. I'm off now, to imagine a billionaire friend who will bail me out concerning my outrageous electricity bill. Au revoir.

Answer 2

My son has an imaginary pal (3 years old) and he additionally talks to his 2 bears like they are genuine, each and every so often the three of them acquaintances in basic terms get on his final little nerve and that i will hear him in his room say circulate away bear, Charley bear, and Jack. Othertimes he would be in there enjoying and having a brilliant time with the three of his suitable acquaintances :) except she in no way has enjoyable with this pal there is not something incorrect in any respect.

Answer 3

Wow.
And I thought you said you’d “like to build a Lego basin full of wrinkled Barbie’s heads and switch panties”… so I’ve been out all night hitting every Toys Я Us in a 200 mile radius, all the while wondering how to break it to you that I’m not actually wearing any panties, when I really should’ve been concentrating on keeping track of all those sales receipts. I guess my point is, you really can’t blame Mr. Binkles for this. You Daleks are just too difficult to understand.

Now where do you want these Legos?

Answer 4

Have no fear my good friend. I'll break you out of this jail!!!! All I need is a pair of pliers, 17 pounds of silly putty, and a bowl of borscht... wait... that's gor the thing a little later on tonite...

Anyways, I'll just saunter in, wearing my brand new turquise hammer pants, and distract the cops.

Answer 5

Don't worry. I've retained the finest attorney that your budget will allow ...

ME.

Trust me. I've seen every episode of Law & Order, including the spinoffs, AND the ill-fated Food Network tie-in entitled: Law & Hors d’œuvre: Blue Plate Special Victims Unit

Answer 6

Quite the lovely tale. My imaginary friends are so mischievous...Especially Jack. I think he's an acquaintance with Mr. Binkles.

Answer 7

Hold up there Dalek, I've got one of those get out of jail free cards. Wait...digs in all pockets, and finds it between cleavage...Here you go!

Now how can we save that manatee?

Answer 8

Maybe if you are lucky you can share a cell with Mr. Binkles and you can work with him on his hearing problem. After that you can plan your prison break.

Answer 9

We're organizing the jail and bail as I type

Answer 10

Wow. Thats good writing.