All categories - 27 May 2007

GRANDMA AND GRANDPA WERE WATCHING A RELIGIOUS HEALING
PROGRAM ON TV.

THE EVANGELIST CALLED TO ALL WHO WANTED TO BE HEALED TO PUT
ONE HAND ON THE TV AND THE OTHER ON THE BODY PART THEY
WANTED HEALED.

GRANDMA HOBBLED TO THE TV AND PUT ONE HAND ON THE TV AND
THE OTHER ON HER ARTHRITIC HIP.

GRANDPA MADE HIS WAY TO THE SET AND PUT ONE HAND ON THE TV
AND THE OTHER ON HIS CROTCH.

GRANDMA LOOKED AT HIM WITH DISGUST . . . "YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND,
YOU OLD COOT . .
THE PURPOSE OF THIS PROGRAM IS TO HEAL THE SICK, NOT RAISE THE DEAD

2007-05-27 22:23:43 · 10 answers · asked by Gina B 4 in Jokes & Riddles

The letter "J" or cotton?

2007-05-27 22:23:43 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Science

screwball comedy? romantic comedy? epic? drama? thriller? etc?

and Why?

mine would be a dark/avant garde comedy, sometimes when life sucks so bad, there really is nothing left to do but to see the humor in the situation and laugh your bleeding guts out...as twisted as that may sound.

2007-05-27 22:23:35 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

how do you solve and what formula would you use?

2007-05-27 22:23:20 · 5 answers · asked by Jenny B 1 in Physics

2007-05-27 22:22:44 · 12 answers · asked by Cyber 6 in Religion & Spirituality

If they pay fines, become fluent in English, and learn our history. Their kids will also have to pay taxes like are kids in the future.

2007-05-27 22:22:36 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Immigration

just think about it
the best trailer i have ever seen was the lord of the rings: the return of the king supertrailer

maybe it was the epic music in the background
i dunno

god, i sound like some weird trailer fetish person

...which im not
:D

2007-05-27 22:22:23 · 14 answers · asked by vikingmuffin 3 in Movies

2007-05-27 22:21:43 · 8 answers · asked by Mr Clean 4 in Politics

Can u tell me any gay men who have created something, such as famous gay designer or famous gay celebrity or gay man who invented medicine or serum ,etc

2007-05-27 22:20:38 · 9 answers · asked by Papilio paris 5 in Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender

too good to be true?

2007-05-27 22:19:01 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Before Marriage

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Yes!
She: Will you hit me?
He: No way! I'm not such kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
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Now after the marriage you can read it from below to up !!!!

2007-05-27 22:18:50 · 13 answers · asked by Athmika K 2 in Jokes & Riddles

like japan and singapore was very poor from us but now they are well advanced from us.why?

2007-05-27 22:18:19 · 7 answers · asked by nitin s 1 in Immigration

2007-05-27 22:18:15 · 15 answers · asked by Jimmy Bob 1 in Polls & Surveys

I went to advanced auto and got 10w-40 oil to do my oil change in and my car is a chevy cobalt 2006 i used mobile 1 high mileage fully synthetic and it didn't say how long it lasted i bought 4 small bottles and put it in for about 6$ a pop. That was all i could find in mobile 1 asked a guy he said it was ok to use 10w-40 but the issue is my car uses 5w-30. I couldn't find 5w-30 in fully synthetic high milage mobile 1 is that ok? Lastly a woman said she changes her's every 7,500 miles on the type i use and to not guess and change it 3,000 miles. Is she right she also said she changes her filter every 2,500 please answer back especially if you are a mechanic or if you know about cars. Do not just guess cuz i like to take care of my car it's my baby.

2007-05-27 22:18:02 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Chevrolet

I thought everyone would be on line as the weather was so bad, where have you all gone? What have I missed?

2007-05-27 22:17:14 · 24 answers · asked by ? 7 in Polls & Surveys

If the lake of fire is eternal where will it be in the new heaven and new earth...how could it possibly exist.

Revelation 21:1-8, "And I saw a new heaven and a new earth: for the first heaven and the first earth were passed away; and there was no more sea. And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God.

And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away

2007-05-27 22:16:41 · 9 answers · asked by † H20andspirit 5 in Religion & Spirituality

flying over pastor Bobs house... is he telling the truth.. I'm confuse... plz explain your answer. ..

2007-05-27 22:15:49 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality

he doesn't need much more than an hour across the fields.

2007-05-27 22:15:34 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Dogs

2007-05-27 22:15:22 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Drama

2007-05-27 22:15:20 · 17 answers · asked by ? 1 in Baseball

or maybe a soliloquy if you know ....

2007-05-27 22:14:57 · 1 answers · asked by Anonymous in Theater & Acting

Why do you always quote the bible, when trying to prove God's existence to athiests when you know that athiest think that the bible is full of ballony?

Why do you quote the bible, whenever you're trying to prove that Islam is a false religion when you know that the Muslims know that the bible has been changed time and time again?


It's no use trying to prove something when people dont believe your one and only source.

2007-05-27 22:14:56 · 24 answers · asked by Nanook~Maybe I need a longer Name?~ 6 in Religion & Spirituality

Given the vast dimensions of our galaxy and even our universe, how does creation theory account for the time it takes light to travel from other stars and even neighbouring galaxies to reach our own Sol system?

2007-05-27 22:14:36 · 8 answers · asked by psicatt 3 in Religion & Spirituality

2007-05-27 22:14:18 · 5 answers · asked by parker 1 in Fishing

The Barbary Powers (called Barbary “pirates” by most Americans) attacked American civilian and commercial merchant ships (but not military ships) wherever they found them. Prior to the Revolution, American shipping had been protected by the British navy, and during the Revolution by the French navy. After the Revolution, however, America lacked a navy of her own and was therefore left without protection for her shipping. The vulnerable American merchant ships, built for carrying cargoes rather than fighting, were therefore easy prey for the warships of the Barbary Powers, which seized the cargo of the ships as loot and took their seamen (of whom all were considered Christians by the attacking Muslims) and enslaved them. [17]

In 1784, Congress authorized American diplomats John Adams, Benjamin Franklin, and Thomas Jefferson to negotiate with the Muslim terrorists. [18] Negotiations proceeded, and in 1786, John Adams and Thomas Jefferson candidly asked the Ambassador from Tripoli the motivation behind their unprovoked attacks against Americans. What was the response?

The Ambassador answered us that it was founded on the laws of their Prophet [Mohammed] – that it was written in their Koran that all nations who should not have acknowledged their authority were sinners; that is was their right and duty to make war upon them wherever they could be found and to make slaves of all they could take as prisoners; and that every Musselman [Muslim] who should be slain in battle was sure to go to Paradise. [19]

Given this “spiritual” incentive to enslave and make war, the Muslim attacks against American ships and seamen were frequent. In fact, in the span of just one month in 1793, Algiers alone seized ten American ships and enslaved more then one hundred sailors, holding them for sale or ransom. [20] Significantly, when Adams and Jefferson queried the Tripolian Ambassador about the seizure of sailors, he explained:

It was a law that the first who boarded an enemy’s vessel should have one slave more than his share with the rest, which operated as an incentive to the most desperate valor and enterprise – that it was the practice of their corsairs [fast ships] to bear down upon a ship, for each sailor to take a dagger in each hand and another in his mouth and leap on board, which so terrified their enemies that very few ever stood against them. [21]

The enslaving of Christians by Muslims was such a widespread problem that for centuries, French Catholics operated a ministry that raised funding to ransom enslaved seamen. As Jefferson explained:

There is here an order of priests called the Mathurins, the object of whose institutions is the begging of alms for the redemption of captives. About eighteen months ago, they redeemed three hundred, which cost them about fifteen hundred livres [$1,500] apiece. They have agents residing in the Barbary States, who are constantly employed in searching and contracting for the captives of their nation, and they redeem at a lower price than any other people can. [22]

Ransoming Americans was no less expensive, and therefore a very profitable trade for the Muslim terrorists. As John Adams explained:

Isaac Stephens at Algiers. . . . says the price is 6,000 for a master [captain], 4,000 for a mate [officer], and 1,500 for each sailor. The Dey [Muslim ruler] will not abate [drop the price] a sixpence, he says, and will not have anything to say about peace with America. He says the people (that is the sailors, I suppose) are carrying rocks and timber on their backs for nine miles out of the country, over sharp rocks and mountains; that he has an iron round his leg, &c. He begs that we would pay the money for their redemption without sending to Congress, but this is impossible. [23]

In an attempt to secure a release of the kidnapped seamen and a guarantee of unmolested shipping in the Mediterranean, President Washington dispatched diplomatic envoys to negotiate terms with the Muslim nations. [24] They secured several treaties of “Peace and Amity” with the Muslim Barbary Powers to ensure “protection” of American commercial ships sailing in the Mediterranean. [25] And because America had no threat of force against the Muslims, she was required to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars (tens of millions in today’s money) of “tribute” (i.e., official extortion) to the Muslim countries to secure the “guarantee” of no attacks. In fact, one Muslim Ambassador told American negotiators that “a perpetual peace could be made” with his nation for the price of 30,000 guineas [$2.3 million today], with an additional 3,000 guineas [$230,000] fee for himself. [26] Having no other recourse, America paid. Sometimes the Muslims even demanded additional “considerations” – such as building and providing a warship as a “gift” to Tripoli, [27] a “gift” frigate to Algiers, [28] paying $525,000 to ransom captured American seamen from Algiers, [29] etc.

These extortion payments became a significant expense for the American government. In fact, in 1795, payments to Algiers alone (including the ransom payment to free 115 American seamen), totaled nearly one million dollars [30] (and Algiers was just one of the four warring Barbary Powers). Significantly, America had to obtain a loan from Holland to make the payment, [31] and the entire affair displeased Washington, who considered it a “disgrace” to remit funds for that purpose, preferring rather to inflict “chastisement” upon the terrorists. [32] Nevertheless, the best solution at that time was to continue paying the protection money, for America lacked a military, having neither navy nor army (the army was available only on an as-needed basis to be called up from among the people in case they needed to defend themselves; America had no standing army). Disgusted with the payments, Washington lamented:

Would to Heaven we had a navy able to reform those enemies to mankind – or crush them into non-existence. [33]

By the last year of Washington’s presidency, a full sixteen percent of the federal budget was spent on extortion payments. [34] Thomas Jefferson, who served as Secretary of State under President Washington, believed that a time would come when not only the economic effects of the extortion payments to the Muslim terrorists would be felt by every American but also that using force would be the only practicable way to end the terrorist attacks. He predicted:

You will probably find the tribute to all these powers make such a proportion of the federal taxes as that every man will feel them sensibly when he pays these taxes. The question is whether their peace or war will be cheapest? . . . If we wish our commerce to be free and uninsulted, we must let these nations see that we have an energy [willingness to use force] which at present they disbelieve. The low opinion they entertain of our powers cannot fail to involve us soon in a naval war. [35]

Eventually, Americans reached the point Jefferson had predicted: not only did they feel the economic effects but they also resented the unprovoked attacks and paying for rights already guaranteed by international law. Therefore, tiring of the largely unsuccessful diplomatic approach, military preparations were urged, thus embracing President George Washington’s wise axiom that:

To be prepared for war is one of the most effectual means of preserving peace. [36]

In the last year of Washington’s presidency, he urged Congress to find the revenues to undertake the construction of a U. S. Navy to defend American interests on the high seas. [37] When John Adams became President, he vigorously pursued those plans, earning the title “Father of the Navy.” [38] Yet Adams was reticent to resort to a military solution – not because he opposed the use of force but rather because he didn’t think the people would fully support that option. [39] Furthermore, he believed that even though the extortion payments were high, the increased revenue produced by American commerce in that region would more than cover the costs. [40] Nevertheless, he longed for the change in international attitude that would result if America used military forces to defend our citizens and our rights.

Because America had adopted a policy of appeasement in response to the terrorist depredations, the Barbary Powers viewed America as weak. In fact, William Eaton, whom Adams had dispatched as American diplomat to Tunis (one of the four terrorist powers), reported to Secretary of State Timothy Pickering that “an opinion long since conceived and never fairly controverted among the Tunisians [is] that the Americans are a feeble sect of Christians.” [41] Truly, with no fear of consequence, Muslims found American targets especially inviting, fueling even further attacks.

Adams truly understood the difference that a naval force would make, explaining:

It would be a good occasion to begin a navy. . . . The policy of Christendom [i.e., of the Christian nations not fighting back for their rights] has made cowards of all their [the Christian nations’] sailors before the standard of Mahomet. It would be heroical and glorious in us to restore courage to ours. I doubt not we could accomplish it if we should set about it in earnest. [42]

By the end of Adams’ administration, extortion payments to the Muslim terrorists accounted for twenty percent of the federal budget. [43]
When Thomas Jefferson became President in 1801, having personally dealt with the Muslim Barbary Powers for almost two decades, he had already concluded that there were only three solutions to the terrorist problem: (1) pay the extortion money, (2) keep all American ships out of international waters (which would destroy American commerce), or (3) use military force to put an end to the attacks. [44] Jefferson discarded the first two options, rejecting the second as a matter of bad policy, and the first because:

I was very unwilling that we should acquiesce in the . . . humiliation of paying a tribute to those lawless pirates. [45]

He supported the third option, acknowledging:

I very early thought it would be best to effect a peace through the medium of war. [46]

Jefferson offered several reasons he believed this would be the best policy, including:

Justice is in favor of this opinion; honor favors it; it will procure us respect in Europe, and respect is a safeguard to interest; . . . [and] I think it least expensive and equally effectual. [47]

Jefferson formed this position long before his presidency; so once inaugurated, he began refusing payments to the offending nations. In response, Tripoli declared war against the United States (and Algiers threatened to do so), [48] thus constituting America’s first official war as an established independent nation. Jefferson, determined to end the two-decades-old terrorist attacks, selected General William Eaton (Adams’ Consul to Tunis) and elevated him to the post of “U. S. Naval Agent to the Barbary States,” with the assignment to lead an American military expedition against the four terrorist nations. Using the new American Navy built under Adams, Eaton transported the U. S. Marines overseas; and when the offending nations found themselves confronted by imminent American military action, all but Tripoli backed down.

General Eaton therefore led a successful military campaign against Tripoli that freed captured seaman and crushed the terrorist forces. After four years of fighting, in 1805 Tripoli signed a treaty on America’s terms, thus ending their terrorist aggressions. (It is from the Marine Corps’ role in that first conflict with Muslim terrorists from 1801-1805 that the opening line of the Marine Hymn is derived: “From the halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli . . .”)

American troops returned home, and the region briefly remained quiet, but by 1807, Muslim Algiers had resumed attacks against American ships and sailors. [49] Jefferson, preoccupied with efforts to avoid war with both Great Britain and France, did not return military forces to the region.

Nevertheless, his actions had brought America its first respite to the decades old attacks; so when he left office, Congress congratulated him, noting:

These are points in your administration which the historian will . . . teach posterity to dwell upon with delight. Nor will he forget . . . the lesson taught the inhabitants of the coast of Barbary – that we have the means of chastising their piratical encroachments and awing them into justice. [50]

2007-05-27 22:13:02 · 10 answers · asked by Emily G 2 in Military

2007-05-27 22:12:40 · 36 answers · asked by ~dreamvette~ 5 in Polls & Surveys

Ghd Question!!?
im thinking about buying a ghd i heard about the new ghd mk4 but i was wondering is the new ghd much better then the other model ones is it worth the money to get the new one or should i get the cheaper ghd

2007-05-27 22:12:09 · 7 answers · asked by ♥Suductive-bayb♥ 2 in Polls & Surveys

2007-05-27 22:11:57 · 34 answers · asked by † Iríšh † 7 in Polls & Surveys

Please explain why you feel the way that you do. What types of mathematical functions should children be able to use a calculator for?

2007-05-27 22:11:45 · 17 answers · asked by nikki 1 in Mathematics