I am engaged to a wonderful woman - I am a 32 yo male and she a 33 yo female. Dating about 3.5 years, not living together. We are both financially secure and don't fight often and have what I consider a respectful relationship - no cheating, etc.
We are planning a wedding this summer, and she wants to be pregnant later this year or early next year. We have fought about timetable for children quite a bit in the last year and I am having severe cold feet. We have traveled quite a bit the last few years (Hawaii, Jamaica, Alaska Etc.) and I love the adventure and excitement that comes with our lifestyle of being able to pursue adventures together. I am worried children will end all of that and drive a wedge in our relationship rather than bring us closer as a family. I am not sure if one is ever ready for kids, but I enjoy my time with my fiance and am not sure the pressures of children wouldn't end our relationship. She won't compromise on her timetable and I have a career change in 2 years. I think 38 is the time, I would be ready for children, but she says 39 is too old. I feel like if I give in, my dreams are dying and sooner or later I will have tremendous regret and I will resent the kids, but if she gives in and has problems with pregnancy, she will blame me. Is it better to break up and allow her to find someone who wants children now so she can be happy. or am I just going through normal jitters. I have no problem with marriage, but I wan't our relationship to be like it is for a few more years so we can still live more of our dreams instead of giving them up for children. I would hate to be 60 years old with terrible regrets on giving up on dreams because I didn't wan't to lose a woman who had differing goals from me. Please help!
2007-01-16
18:48:19
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17 answers
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asked by
extreme360
1
in
Marriage & Divorce