A male friend of mine who's in his early 30's and very shy has recently revealed he's been crushing on a girl who works in a music store for 2 years, and he can't seem to stop. It's not just any crush. He truly believes he loves her, that he knows that she is the perfect girl for him. He drives into the city every weekend just to see her, but he's never actually really spoken to her. He doesn't even know if she's single, all he knows is her first name. He's told me that his week doesn't feel complete if he doesn't catch a glimpse of her, and he misses her too much if he doesn't. He says he can't stop thinking about her, that she is the embodiment of physical perfection, and that he feels he knows that she is a beautiful person inside too just from watching her.
Recently, he severely crossed the line, completely ruining whatever chance he might have had with her by coming on too strong. He wrote her a letter and handed it to her, saying that he LOVES her and basically spilling his heart out to this girl he doesn't even really know. I mean, she's just a store employee who works weekends, just trying to do her job, and a customer comes in and hands her a full blown love letter. Worst of all, he enclosed $400 IN THE LETTER as a gift to her. He says that money means very little to him, and it made him happy just for her to have it.
Not surprisingly, he never got a response, so he finally spoke to her face to face the next week, and she told him politely, "How do you know you love me? You don't even know me" and even offered him some of the money back, but he refused to take it. He actually took her response as a positive sign, because at least she wasn't nasty about it. It convinced him even further that she was a wonderful person.
Well, it's been 4 weeks now since the letter and money incident, and he STILL goes in, even after getting no sign of returned interest. It must be getting awkward for her, and I wouldn't be surprised if she is starting to feel weirded out by the fact he's always coming in and looking at her.
He can't seem to get over his obsession. He is a truly wonderful guy with a heart of gold, but very lonely, and this is the first time in his life he's ever had true feelings for a girl. But this crush is a total waste of his time, and it's becoming unhealthy how much focus he is putting on someone he knows literally nothing about. He can't even imagine trying to meet someone else.
I've tried to explain that it's so much better to have a real girlfriend who actually loves you back, but he says he can't imagine ever not loving her, and that he really is in love and no one can tell him otherwise. He actually wishes it wasn't the case, but he feels he has no control over his feelings. I'm very worried for him.
HELP!
2007-01-14
01:17:42
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11 answers
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asked by
Emily E
1
in
Singles & Dating