OK, so here's my story... Short version, cuz its getting late... Basically my mom has disowned me for the past year or 2, and its like she's trying to bring my whole family (dads side) down, not just ending her relationship with him. She stopped talking to me mainly cuz she knows i'm siding with my dad, its really sad when you think about it, but the truth is I dont want a relationship with her anymore anyway. All I know is this has been going on for almost a year since she served my father, and nothing has happened yet, unfortunately everyone is still living in the same house... Dad sleeps in his office (in the house) on a fold-a-way bed... That's also his kitchen. He lives out of that one room... I hide in my room, and thats the only room I use, its horrible... Let me tell ya some of the stories about my mom, and then you can formulate your own opion, I think it can speak for itself.
1) I'm gonna start from the beginning here, from when we stopped talking. About 1 1/2 years ago, I lost my mom's cell phone. I apologized to her, but honestly could not afford to just run out and get her a new one either, so there really wasnt much I could do except truly apolgize. Well, I did offer to get a new one within the month, but that wasnt good enough for her. My dad then told both me and my mom, that if this was her attitude then I shouldn't replace it at all, and also it was technically dads phone since he paid for all the lines on the family plan. Mind ya that mom never used the phone anyway, it was always turned off, and usually never charged. But she wanted to prove her point, so for the next several months thats all I heard from her, since I never did replace it. Like my dad said, it would have been a waste of money. Honestly, even before that we had a strained relationship, but not to the point where we didnt talk.
2) Fast foward to her birthday, a few months later. I was working that day. She knew I was going to be working and told me not to worry about taking off, that we'll do something another day or whatever. Well, before I left, she was bitching about something, I dont even know, but I left my gift on her bed. When I came home that night, I found out she had a temper tantrum like a 2 year old cuz my dad decided to do the cake the following night when I'd be home, and also cuz it was the wrong kind of cake, cuz she had gallbladder problems and couldnt have fat. And I was an inconsiderate ***** to even think about buying it for her. I told her that the following year I'll buy her a salad, and write happy F-ing birthday with the fat-free dressing... I mean, please.... First off, I thought she could have some fat, just not overdo it, I didnt know it had to be a fat free. And any normal considerate mother, would have just said, "THanks for the thought, but I really shouldn't be eating that, you guys enjoy it." or something to that effect, or maybe offer to go out and pick out something else that she can have, but no she has to act like a 5 year old instead. Needless to say, her gift was back on my bed, still unopened. Unfortunately I threw out the reciept, so I couldn't return it, but instead just kept it for myself.
3) Now all this above was still almost a year before she served my dad, but I think even back then she was talking about it, and knew she was going to divorce him, so thats the whole point. She brainwashes my sister into thinking that my father is a POS and a deadbeat dad, and all she does is curse him out in front of her. She's only 15. MEanwhile, my mom will be bitching/cursing my father out, and my sister is right beside her cheering her on... How can you do this to your 15 y/o daughter???
4) Now more recent. Too many stories in between. But I think your starting to get the idea. Anyways, my cousin's wedding was a few weeks ago. I was soooo scared cuz I was afraid she was going to have some sort of outburst there and start a scene cursing at my father or something, and I was honestly really surprised that nothing happened. THat is until my father got a call from my uncle the next day. Now to backtrack, my mom was bitching about needing money for a hotel, etc since it was in NJ, and we're in NY (still only a 3 hour drive, and me and my dad did it w/o hotel, but whatever) for about 2 months prior. My dad just ignores her when she starts, but in the end gave in since it was the only way my sister could go. MY mom said she couldnt afford to go otherwise, and she wouldnt let my father take my sister out of state, so it was the only way she could go. So anyway in the end, my dad gives her 200 for gas/tolls/hotel, etc. So what does she have the nerve to do we find out??? SHe put $25 in the card, thats right 25, w/ a nasty note saying what a POS husband he is for not giving her more money. Now the whole reason why she wanted to go to wedding was to not let my cousin down, please......
4 or 5 what am i up to???) Some of the things she comes up with that are all lies anyway are really starting to scare me, cuz my dad could go to jail for them. I know the case will go to a judge eventually, cuz my mom is going to fight and fight until the end. Now you go to court and its her and my sister who will be testifying for my mom (although like my boss said, they dont usually involve the children on the stand, but my dad says she might, shes almost 16, actually she will be 16 by then, the court date right now is sept. 18, her b-day is on the 6th) and then me testifyng for my dad. It's her word against ours. I mean, what if the judge takes her side, since theres no way of proving it really one way or anohter. My mom is really good at putting on a front esp. if she can get something out of it. (sidenote just the other day she was bitching for about an hour straight before she realized my dad wasnt even home... HEr reaction?? "You mean I was yelling and bitching all that time for nothing, the POS didnt even hear me???" Yeah, priceless.... It shows her true colors... Anyway, some of the things shes accusing him of:
- Physically abusing her. I mean thats so easy to "prove" its ridiculous. All ya need to do is have a bruise from something else, and noone can tell where it came from, and besides courts always side with the mothers.
- Not providing food for my sister - First off, my dad does keep food in his office and he locks it when he's not home, hence why my mom is complaining. However, theere is another room called a KITCHEN!!! Besides everytime my dad offers to cook for her its either "Yuck i dont like that" or "im on a diet" - please shes 16 years old. She won't eat a burger cuz it has too much fat, but she doesnt think anything of eating an entire box of oreos cuz sometimes you gotta cheat, so whatever...
- porn on computer - Now my moms trying to accuse him of being a micheal jackson cuz some gay porn somehow got on there a few years back.. He said he did not download it and it probably came as part of a virus from aol cuz he used to get a lot of crazy emails. He stopped using aol and hasnt had any problems since. He also said this porn was in one of my moms folders, so very possible she did it to plant it against him.
She has also said numorus things against my uncle and my grandmother, including wishing death upon them. MY grandmohter is 75 years old, nearly deaf/blind, wheelchair bound, diabetic, evertying, but shes a "hopeless ***** that wants everyone to wait on her hand and foot". SHe says her mother is an angel cuz she always worked 3 different jobs to support family. Oh please!!!!!!!!!!!! BTW, i dont talk to her side of family at all anymore cuz they're all the same way.
She also wants to get my uncle/grandma supbeonad (sp?) for all the money my dad borrowed against them or whatever. LIke my dad said, is this a divorce case or a criminal case???? BUt with all the things my mom is accusing him of, it could very well be both.
Has anyone else been through such a nasty divorce... I really need advice. I feel soo depressed lately. And yes, that was the short version, lol.... I could go on and on, believe me.
2006-09-05
20:45:05
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9 answers
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asked by
Emily
5
in
Marriage & Divorce