I've been living with a guy for the past two years and frankly when I look back at who I used to be I want it back. Not the 'singleness' or any of that crap but I want myself back, who I was before I met him. I feel denied of myself.
Not "denied" but more or less it's just gone now. I don't feel sexy, I don't have self esteem, I don't have ambition to do anything, and all I do is break down but today is the first day I find myself crying. Im beginning to get too bitter for my own taste and I basically can't imagine myself 5 years ago seeing who I am now. I used to be unique, I used to feel "different, special..."
And now I find myself hating those "unique" people. I judge people I used to want to be with, or people I would want to be like. My situation is making me bitter.
Im sick of myself I can't stand it anymore. Now im laid off and getting unemployment so Im stuck alone with myself all day. Arguing with myself for hours a day... he doesnt understand he only gets mad.
2006-07-29
07:05:52
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11 answers
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asked by
Poestalker
4
in
Other - Family & Relationships