I've been living with a guy for the past two years and frankly when I look back at who I used to be I want it back. Not the 'singleness' or any of that crap but I want myself back, who I was before I met him. I feel denied of myself.
Not "denied" but more or less it's just gone now. I don't feel sexy, I don't have self esteem, I don't have ambition to do anything, and all I do is break down but today is the first day I find myself crying. Im beginning to get too bitter for my own taste and I basically can't imagine myself 5 years ago seeing who I am now. I used to be unique, I used to feel "different, special..."
And now I find myself hating those "unique" people. I judge people I used to want to be with, or people I would want to be like. My situation is making me bitter.
Im sick of myself I can't stand it anymore. Now im laid off and getting unemployment so Im stuck alone with myself all day. Arguing with myself for hours a day... he doesnt understand he only gets mad.
2006-07-29 07:05:52 · 11 answers · asked by Poestalker 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It's been months and I have no one to talk to. No one to let know how I feel accept for this damned computer and it kills me sitting here droning on endlessly.
Whenever I talk to him he gets mad, he doesn't get it.
2006-07-29 07:07:21 · update #1
This isn't about him. He doesn't get it, and im stuck with myself. It's about me.
2006-07-29 07:08:40 · update #2
Your story sounds like mine was a few years ago. I was with a guy who put forth no effort in our relationship and I sacrificed a lot to be with him even moved away from friends and family but on the inside I felt like my spirit was dying... like I was dying and who I knew myself to be was dying. It's a very overwhelming feeling. If you want to talk you can send me an email (freespirittania) (on yahoo) and let me know your yahoo ID and I can add you and we can talk if you'd like. It always helped me to talk and vent a little. If you decide not to contact me then know this.. you need to leave him... he's killing who you are and I'm afraid it will only get worse. If you can't be yourself with someone and still be loved then you don't need him. Get away while you still remember who you used to be... don't stay until it changes you for good ok.
2006-07-29 07:14:42 · answer #1 · answered by freespirit 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have some issues to deal with in yourself. What you describe doesn't necessary seem solely due to your relationship. Often times we try to push the blame off on someone else, especially a significant other, and then when we move on we realize that it really wasn't all them.
You should also realize that as you get older you are going to change and it's a natural process. You have to understand that the person you were as a naive, unique teenager has grown up and as you continue to get older you will continue to change in different ways. They key is to accept yourself and work towards bettering yourself if you find areas where you are unhappy. If you feel bitter you need to address what is making you feel like that. You also need to remember that you are unique, we all are.
Try to get out more, maybe try a new hobby. Meeting new people and socializing will often give you the self esteem and comradarie that you may be lacking. It just sounds like you are in a bit of a funk and you need a swift kick in the bootie to get back into the groove of things.
2006-07-29 07:12:03 · answer #2 · answered by Rawrrrr 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
*hugs*
Sounds like you're seriously depressed, hon. I think you need to go talk to a doctor and maybe get some tests run. The way you're feeling is probably normal in regards to being unemployed, but it sounds kinda extreme, so I think you should get some help.
Don't worry if your boyfriend doesn't get it. It sounds like you don't get it either, since you can't fully explain what went wrong, so maybe sort it out in your own head first and figure out what's wrong before you pile stuff on him?
You sound like you're in a negative headspace, and you need to clear it out. Keep busy. Take up a hobby. Redecorate the house. Just keep busy and your mind won't have time to suck you into dark places.
Go see a doctor about it!
Good luck and stay strong!
2006-07-29 07:14:19 · answer #3 · answered by mikah_smiles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He actually sounds a lot like my hubby; he does me the same way. We have been together for 3 years and before we got together I was fun to be around and I had friends. Today, I have not friends, I do got to school but I do not work. There are days that I want to get a divorce so bad, but he will not even discuss that with me. I have told him that I am unhappy and it is as if he does not care. We do have 1 child together and I know that he wants to be there for him, but I have about had it. Things has to go his way or he is unhappy.
Any way, if you truly want your "old" self back, you should leave him. I know that it would be a difficult decision, but if you truly want to, you should.
2006-07-29 07:11:58 · answer #4 · answered by RainCloud 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Typical woman...never satisfied...always bored or looking for something they don't have and think they want. Stop driving the poor guy crazy and find a new guy to turn into a psycho then you will be happy for awhile until you get bored with tormenting the new guy. Make sure you marry them all so you get a nice cash severance package...eventually you will be a rich bitter b**ch...maybe that will make you happy...but I doubt it.
2006-07-29 07:14:15 · answer #5 · answered by Perry L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yikes!
What has changed?
You are still sexy, ambitious,unique.
You just shifted what you are looking at.
Get busy again! Do something for someone else!
Dont look at yourself! Look at others What do they need?....Who needs a kind encouraging word?.....
Start exercising or a sport......
Maybe you have something physical going on....go to the Dr.
Do something special or kind for your boyfriend.....
Fake your happiness till you make it.....
Just a few suggestions......trying to help.....
Good luck with your situation.
Focus on the many positives!!
2006-07-29 07:17:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to take a break from him. Move out on your own for awhile and find yourself again.
2006-07-29 07:09:16 · answer #7 · answered by homeschoolmama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u should communicate more..
find a way to talk to him without irritating him then discuss whats the best thing for u two
and if things dont work out...then sing to him "bye bye bye"
2006-07-29 07:12:34 · answer #8 · answered by Sus-Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound very depressed, maybe you should talk to your doctor. If your man doesn't care whats going on with you, why are you with him?
2006-07-29 07:09:14 · answer #9 · answered by mightymight 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
most people think they can reclaim the past if they leave...you can't. There is no future in your past. seek help in understanding who you are now...not who you "was"
To perry L...:) I agree
2006-07-29 07:15:37 · answer #10 · answered by jim h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋