All categories - 19 June 2006

Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader." The gas pump, of course, didn't respond. The younger alien became angry at the lack of response and the older alien said, "I'd calm down if I were you".


The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again, there was no response. Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said impatiently, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Do not ignore us this way! Take us to your leader or I will fire!"

The older alien warned his comrade saying, "You don't want to do that! I don't think you should make him mad." "Rubbish," replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon at the pump and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared towards them and blew the younger alien
off his feet and deposited him a burnt, crumpling mess about 200 yards away in a cactus patch.

About a half hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he refocused his three eyes and straightened his bent antenna and looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his big green head. "What a ferocious creature!" exclaimed the young, fried alien. "He damn near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?"

The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend and replied, "If there's one thing I've learned during my intergalactic travels, when a guy has a penis he can wrap around himself twice and then stick it in his ear, you don't want to mess with him!"

2006-06-19 23:40:31 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

when i click on cancel," this site is not responding" appears preventing me to log on and blocks all further access to all sites. you have two choices "cancel or buy now" cancel will not respond and i do not wish to purchase. please provide instructions as to how i may stop this.

2006-06-19 23:40:26 · 4 answers · asked by dallas p powers 1 in Internet

2006-06-19 23:40:23 · 5 answers · asked by bbb 1 in Biology

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2006-06-19 23:39:57 · 8 answers · asked by nsj 1 in Polls & Surveys

2006-06-19 23:39:54 · 21 answers · asked by vikalp s 1 in Horoscopes

its letting me read my e-mails but not letting me go on to web pages is there any suggestions what i could do please

2006-06-19 23:39:53 · 8 answers · asked by star 2 in Internet

Hi, I read EVERYWHERE that you are very fertile after a miscarriage. What exactly does that mean?

2006-06-19 23:39:50 · 5 answers · asked by eggbert 2 in Trying to Conceive

We bought a Bluetooth in the US and brought it back to the UK. The plug for the charger is, of course, a US-style, two pronged plug. Can I just attach a US=>UK plug converter on the end and charge the battery or will that burn up the mechanism (this being 220 volts)? Thank you!

2006-06-19 23:39:40 · 2 answers · asked by Janet712inEngland 5 in Cell Phones & Plans

I love him so much. I don't have any reason to think that he might cheat on me. But there might be sighns that im not reading or don't wanna read. He is sometimes the one that would say: "Baby, do you still love me?"

2006-06-19 23:39:28 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

My daughter gets depressed, crazy...... Her husband tries to stay out of her way. Can we all let her know she's not the only one that gets that way?

2006-06-19 23:38:57 · 8 answers · asked by Wendy R 1 in Women's Health

My fiance' recently acquired herself a stalker and we were curious as to if there are any free websites on the internet that you can view a persons criminal record or see if they have one. We live in Michigan. Apparently this guy went to elementary and high school with her but she doesn't remember him but in a handwriten letter he states he has loved her since elementary school which was almost 30 years ago.
If there are any sites we could log in and see if this guy has been busted for this stuff before. We did go to the police and they agree that a 6 page letter to someone they havent seen in 28 years and don't even really know is NOT NORMAL. They called the city hall in the city he lives and got his number(s), all of which are disconnected. Any help would be great. The police say "yes" he IS wierd and we should be cautious, but he hasn't broken any laws yet... we dont want to wait until laws have been broken. Scarey creepy stuff here.

2006-06-19 23:38:57 · 7 answers · asked by redwing_nutso 2 in Law Enforcement & Police

2006-06-19 23:38:53 · 14 answers · asked by Ashwin 1 in Astronomy & Space

You know, the words that appear when we preview templates or things like those.

2006-06-19 23:38:51 · 4 answers · asked by sylvdoanx 2 in Words & Wordplay

2006-06-19 23:38:49 · 8 answers · asked by ARS 1 in Other - Politics & Government

2006-06-19 23:38:34 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Fashion & Accessories

Is this just a minhag (custom) or a Halacha (law)?

2006-06-19 23:38:23 · 4 answers · asked by teachactress 2 in Religion & Spirituality

2006-06-19 23:38:15 · 16 answers · asked by nikolai mascov 1 in Singles & Dating

2006-06-19 23:38:05 · 6 answers · asked by Dulcinea 5 in Movies

ok, now u have opened , answer me.....

How did MICHAEL JACKSON Became so Fair, Although He's a *****

2006-06-19 23:38:02 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Makeup

2006-06-19 23:37:57 · 6 answers · asked by Bebe 2 in Other - Computers

2006-06-19 23:37:51 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Family & Relationships

ok, i have this project to do for economics.
i have to ask vegetable vendors questions about the rising prices of vegetables.
please tell me a few questions??

2006-06-19 23:37:41 · 5 answers · asked by sacred_90 2 in Homework Help

I am Looking to buy Linux server online to be shipped to colocation in Atlanta, I need recommendation for the best company to by online.

2006-06-19 23:37:36 · 1 answers · asked by nmoh17 1 in Other - Computers

Mine is SpongeBob SquarePants .

2006-06-19 23:37:32 · 21 answers · asked by katherine_da_winnie 2 in Comics & Animation

i dont think he is the best player in the world more like the best cheat in the world

2006-06-19 23:37:01 · 14 answers · asked by josh p 2 in Other - Football

2006-06-19 23:36:45 · 7 answers · asked by BigFLB 1 in Law Enforcement & Police

Does that mean that she was the Female Messiah another Perfect Lamb? If she was then what makes Jesus sinlessness so unique? And if Mary had died before Jesus would she have been the Redeemer?

I'm Just trying to Understand the 'sinless Mary concept'.

2006-06-19 23:36:33 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality

she is hot and likes to make out. she is 40 something and i am a teenager

2006-06-19 23:36:18 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Family & Relationships

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2006-06-19 23:36:16 · 3 answers · asked by nsj 1 in Renting & Real Estate