Senior Citizens

These two Texansvrent a boat and go fishing in a lake. They are amazed at the number of fish that they caught that day, so one says to the other, "We'll have to come back here tomorrow!"

The other asks, "But how will we remember where this spot is?"

The first guy then takes a can of spray paint, paints an X on the bottom of the boat, and says, "We'll just look for this X
tomorrow."

The other guy says, "You idiot! How do you know we'll get the same boat?"

2007-12-31 12:56:31 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

WE ARE HAVE A SAFE TIME AND A GOOD TIME

2007-12-31 12:48:35 · 20 answers · asked by Tracer 5

2007-12-31 12:42:53 · 20 answers · asked by gggggg 6

With anything else what would you get??

2007-12-31 12:36:31 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

A man walks into the woman's section of a department store and tells the sales clerk he wants to buy a bra for his wife.
"What type of bra?" asked the clerk.

"Type?" inquires the man, "there's more than one type?"

"There are three types." Replies the clerk,

"The Catholic type, the Salvation Army type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?"

Still confused the man asked, "What is the difference in them?"

The clerk responds, "It is really very easy. The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen and the Baptist type makes mountain's out of mole hills."

2007-12-31 12:32:54 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

Would become clean of garbage and other stuff really fast?

2007-12-31 12:32:03 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

I will probably get a "V" for this-but maybe some answer will get past first. I have no where else to be tonight and wondered if I would have any company as the night wears on?

2007-12-31 12:31:14 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

To deforest all the trees?

2007-12-31 12:27:28 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

I think having Irish Elk back would be a neat thing.

2007-12-31 12:26:22 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

what would you think happy 2008!

2007-12-31 12:05:15 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

Grandpa and grandma were watching the television evangelical show and the preacher said, if the viewers at home wanted to be healed, place one hand on the television set and the other hand on the body part where they wanted to be healed.
Grandma got up and slowly hobbled to the television set, placed her righthand on the set and her left hand on her arthritic shoulder that was causing her to have great pain.
Then Grandpa got up, went to the TV, placed his right hand on the set and his left hand on his crotch.
Grandma scowled at him and said, "I guess you just don't get it, The purpose of doing this is to heal the sick, not to raise the dead."

2007-12-31 12:05:03 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

If so, it was very humiliating to the student.

2007-12-31 11:40:51 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

Thanks to Princess Debi and Wise woman for the idea for this question.

2007-12-31 11:39:12 · 13 answers · asked by abuelamah 6

And going outside after the party, or whatever, and your car won't start, and you're are not feeling so good (or too good), and your mood changes instantly, and you suddenly start seeing things a little more clearly.

2007-12-31 11:33:33 · 3 answers · asked by TRAF 4

Mine is to loss weight and walk more.

For you . . .

http://www157.123greetings.com/card/12/31/16/14/ZQG81231161430343.html

2007-12-31 11:18:27 · 20 answers · asked by Gladys 6

...yes it does its here now church bells ringing lol...HAPPY NEW YEAR

2007-12-31 10:58:02 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

Dare I ask anymore, since I've already asked a couple? Silly questions, that is.

2007-12-31 10:47:55 · 27 answers · asked by TRAF 4

The SciFi channel is doing one of its marathons and this is so much fun.

I like the one where the invalid lady gets mysterious phone calls from her former lover, and when the phone company investigates they find a downed wire on his grave. And "Nightmare at 40,000 Feet" and "To Serve Man" and the little girl who falls out of bed into another dimension - you know.

2007-12-31 10:29:09 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

What is the root of the word? Where did it come from? Who uses it? Who is allowed to use it? Apparently the proper spelling is 'duh', as the spell checker allowed that spelling to go through, but not 'dah'.

2007-12-31 10:23:07 · 26 answers · asked by TRAF 4

With champange, big band / or just a band. Balloons, hundreds of people, laughing with people you know and never met, and drinking and dancing all night long in high heels and sequins or if you're a guy, dress shoes, suit and tie?

2007-12-31 10:13:03 · 16 answers · asked by Granny 6

Only nine hours until 2008 here on the west coast. HAPPY NEW YEAR COUNTRY FANS!

2007-12-31 10:05:52 · 20 answers · asked by Star doodle 2

I have. About 3 years in a row (when I was 22-25) or so. It was beautiful to be there and the air was eclectric ( is that the right word?) I will never forget it.. Your thoughts, if you were there?

2007-12-31 10:03:30 · 12 answers · asked by Judith H 5

For those of you who have been involved in long relationships or who are still lucky enough to have a wife to share life with, what do you do after years of marriage to make your wife still feel loved and beautiful and desirable and valuable to you?

Have you gotten sloppy and take your wife for granted so she is not the happy carefree loving wife you had when you married her?

Would you address your wife as old hag or you old boot or sometimes as you old fool?

Would you talk to other women who are strangers to you when you take out your wife or are you just with your wife and pay attention to her?

Do you have advise for other men to make a happy marriage ?

2007-12-31 09:54:29 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

What women want in a man at age 22:

1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover

What women want in a man at age 32:

1. Nice looking (preferably with hair)
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week

What women want in a man at age 42:

1. Not too ugly (bald head is fine)
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends

What women want in a man at age 52:

1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends

What women want in a man at age 62:

1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend

What women want in a man at age 72:

1. Breathing
2. Doesn't miss the toilet

2007-12-31 09:48:04 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

I am thinking this will be my 53rd. I started about 7. Sneaking drinks in the other room when everyone my folks had over were snockered.

2007-12-31 09:34:49 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

A young minister had just got out of the seminary, got his first church, and was preaching his first sermon. In the seminary, they had taught him that if he forgot something, just back up and repeat what he had said, and maybe it would come back to him.

He started out with a quote, "Behold, I cometh....." but he couldn't remember the rest of it.

So he trys to regain his composure, backs up an starts again... "Behold I cometh..." but he still couldn't remember.

So he rears back and shouts again, "Behold I cometh! ..." but this time he trips over the pulpit and falls right into the lap of a little old lady sitting the front row!

He was embarassed and started apologizing, but before he could finish the woman muttered...
"It isn't your fault sonny - you told me you were coming three times... I should have moved!"

2007-12-31 09:33:47 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

"HAPPY NEW YEAR"(had to make it a question first). Only nine and a half hours and it will be 2008. We made it another year guys and gals, how about that?

2007-12-31 09:29:13 · 29 answers · asked by Star doodle 2

will be alone tonight ? I'm going to be home alone, so think I'll put on new gown and robe and curl up in front of the 'puter, & see what goes on here at night. I'll make hot cocoa and monkey bread if anyone cares to join me.

2007-12-31 09:13:57 · 28 answers · asked by stormy 4

good or bad memories from high school? I'll start it off: I had horrible memories from high school. I was so, so, so, so shy. I had about 2 friends, but I did speak to some others. I hated giving an answer in class. I am anything but shy now...

2007-12-31 09:08:52 · 24 answers · asked by Judith H 5

Realistically now, how can you improve the way you live, without the obvious solution of SS giving us extra money out
of the hat, which we aren't going to see? Will you pick up part
time work, or do some recycling for cash, or some other means of raising money? Or will it be just cleaning up your
immediate environment and throwing out the old junk? I'd
like some valid and senstible comments only please!

2007-12-31 08:59:16 · 10 answers · asked by Lynn 7