Senior men what do you do to make your partner feel loved?

Question

For those of you who have been involved in long relationships or who are still lucky enough to have a wife to share life with, what do you do after years of marriage to make your wife still feel loved and beautiful and desirable and valuable to you?

Have you gotten sloppy and take your wife for granted so she is not the happy carefree loving wife you had when you married her?

Would you address your wife as old hag or you old boot or sometimes as you old fool?

Would you talk to other women who are strangers to you when you take out your wife or are you just with your wife and pay attention to her?

Do you have advise for other men to make a happy marriage ?

My husband does not do his job in making me feel I am important or I mean anything to him. He has told me we are married so long this is no longer necessary for our marriage. I

I am sorry for the thumbs down senior members. I do not have enough points to give all you decent people thumbs up, and I am sorry because you deserve them.

Answer 1

I was only married 25 years, divorced 15 years ago. Still learning a lot, but I think there are some learnings I've gleaned from 45 years of intimate contacts with women.

1] Be attentive and listen to what they say, even if you don't agree or like what you hear. The person probably knows you better than anyone else on the planet. Knows things about you that you don't even know about yourself. Listen and consider what's said, ponder whether it's true, or untrue. And ponder whether, if true, it's something you respect in yourself and don't wish to change, or something you'd like yourself better if you changed. Not for the woman you care about, but for yourself.

2] Respect boundaries. Recognize the woman you care about is a human being with a life and desires unrelated to your own. Recognize for your own benefit and for hers that much of what goes on in her head, her heart, and her life is simply none of your business unless she chooses to tell you. Care enough about her to support her needs and goals even if they mean nothing to you.

3] Don't expect your woman, nor anyone else to 'make you happy'. That's your responsibility. Not hers.

4] Don't use the phrase, "You make me feel [fill in the blank]". Nobody 'makes you feel' any way. People behave the way they do and you choose how you will feel about it.

5] Remember things you might consider unimportant if they are important to her. Valentines, anniversaries, birthdays and just simple hugs, hand-squeezes and touches mean a lot more to most women than they mean to many of us men. It's a small thing to us, but frequently a big thing to them. Not doing it is nearly certain to result in frustration and tension.

6] Remember to say "I love you" frequently if you want to keep the woman you care about feeling you are the man she cares about.

Answer 2

Try to help her around the house by cleaning and doing the dishes cause she has arthritis and it is hard for her to do these things.

Answer 3

Husbands and wives should treat each other with respect. Some of the answers here are lovely. I especially like Jack's response and I get the feeling that I am hearing the actor Sam Elliot's voice speaking these words. Hat's off to all the husbands who make their wives feel loved.

Answer 4

Let's see: make dinner Mon - Fri (she cooks on weekends), start the laundry when I get up before her on Saturday morning, vacuum, mop, dust, take out the trash..all without being told. She folds and puts away the laundry.
I wake her Mon - Fri at 5:35 a.m. with a kiss and a soft, "It's time to get up."
Every once in a while, I'll stop at the florist and have them deliver flowers to her office (not always roses) at the hospital where she works. This gets some husbands in trouble...none of the other women get flowers at work..not even for birthdays or anniversaries.
I don't tell "funny" stories about her to our friends (except 2 that happened just after we got married).
If I use her van and see she's close to 1/4 tank, I fill it up before I go home. I wash and wax it for her, keep the inside windows clean, check the oil and tires, keep her window wash level high. If it's raining in the morning, I bring her umbrella in out of her van.
When I'm out of town on a job, I send her cards, telling her how much I miss her, I call her most nights. I have even had flowers sent to her when I was on a 6 week job in Sicily.
I tell her before I leave to go any place that I love her. The last thing I tell her at night, even if she's in bed asleep before me, is that I love her. I want her to know that if something happens to me, that's the last thing she heard me say.
I probably left some things out, but that's a good start in any man's book.
We will be married 39 years in February.

My mom told me when I was a teen, that to please a woman to do the 'little things.' Flashy, showy gifts don't impress a woman in the way the 'little things' do. I watched her and my dad...do 'little things' for each other.

Answer 5

We been married 37 years. I LOVE her I respect her. Iam loyal to her & HONEST I DONT CHEAT And if she leaves me i will break her neck JUST JOKING

Answer 6

Bravo Jack p. I think he knows what a partner needs to feel loved. We can all learn from his words of wisdom. IMO

Answer 7

Two thumbs up for Jack P. The woman that captures his heart should have little to complain about.

Answer 8

What Jack said.

Answer 9

We both have trust in and deep love for each other that has grown over the years...we exchange the odd insult..and yes we talk to others of the same sex..and drift around at parties but regularly look across the room to each other and smile. I think you are stuck in a time warp... theirs a difference between your first clingy dewy eyed meeting and growing older together as a loving unit..

Answer 10

So sad it has to be that way. I obviously don't have the secret-Maybe later someone will ask how we women would LIKE to be treated. Although most of the guys here seem to be aware of that already.

Jack-you are wise beyond your years. How is it no woman has "caught" you in her web yet?