so...today my friend came over and we were just talking about sex and stuff because, well, he wanted to. but anyhow. he started going on about how he really wants to do it and all, and how he at least wants to know what it feels like, and i made the mistake in making myself available, as i am bi. he is (really) straight, but you know how some people get when they get desprate...so...umm...i basically was a "friend with benefits."
yes, i agreed to it at the time, but i don't know what i was thinking. he just left, and i mean, i'm crying about this. i can't stand up i'm shaking so bad. and i feel like the biggest idiot ever. because i don't like him as any more than a friend, and i now know that i should've never done what i did and it's killing me. i mean, i literally washed my mouth out with soap afterwards.
i know it's not a big thing to some of you, and it isn't to him either, but i feel almost violated. can that happen? even if i said yes?
i just feel awful and need help. thanks.
2006-06-20
14:29:03
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