I feel that there is something bad inside me, a darkness, a sinfulness that makes me a bad person. No-one else seems to see it, they just see the surface where I look like a good person, but I know I'm not, not really. I don't deserve for anything good to happen to me, I deserve to be punished. I self harm, I feel like when the blood comes out it takes some of the badness away, and if I do it enough maybe one day I'll feel like I'm an ok person.
I used to believe in God and I became a Christian when I was 14 (I'm 24 now) but over the past couple of years I feel like I'm not good enough for God to love me anymore. I still believe in God, and I believe that He will forgive people, even if they do terrible things - but I can't seem to accept that forgiveness for myself and I haven't even done anything particularly bad. How can I accept His forgiveness again like I used to?
2006-07-25
05:12:16
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27 answers
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asked by
Anonymous
in
Religion & Spirituality