I'm a tremendous Liar,I destroyed my relationship with Dalia
Body: I'm putting this out to all my friends, not for pitty but for you to all know the kind of worthless peace of **** I have been to the woman I love. My actions did not show the love that I claim to have, and I deserve nothing less than what I'm getting, for my tremendously horendous and disgusting lies and manipulations have earned me nothing more than hatred and loathing from the one I so dearly cared for. When I met Dalia I told her several lies that led her to believe that I could not only see things that were not there but made me seem like what I thought in my head was a better more attractive and far more exciting man than what I really am. those lies included but where not limited to saying that I had been in the Marines which I have never been in and claming that I killed people for money which I could never do, it also included me telling her that I saw demons in the strip club that we work at and I went even as far as claiming that one had pissed on her head as she stood in the club. After that it got worse because I was faced with lying even more to her in order to keep past lies alive and then I continued to lie in order to keep my so called image alive in my head. To all of you out there that I have lied to I'm sorry and I do Understand if I am deleted from your friends lists for what I have done and I deserve nothing less for the lies I have spread and manipulation I wrought upon others with my disgusting and repulsive lies. I do this because it is time for me to move forward instead of taking steps back in the wrong direction. For the record I want to clear some things up in front of you all in case I have lied to you
1) I have never been in the marines or have ever done anything in the military other than R.O.T.C. while I was in high school and some training that they put us through( I'm Sorry Irvin)
2) I have never killed anyone in my life or have ever been payed to kill anyone in my life it is all a lie.
3) I do not see demons, Devils, or anything supernatural ever.
4) I have never had more than approx. 10-11 sex partners in my life, and really I wish I could say 1
5)I wrecked my blue Cobra on the street not on the track like I have told so many people in the past
6) I am not a special ed teacher but actually a one on one instructor for Autistic children which really is nothing more than a Glorified Aide that would be left alone in the class with the kids while the teacher went to lunch or to make a phone call
7)I am not director of marketing for any strip club I am simply the only active promoter for the club.
8) I did consider becoming a priest at one time but did not actually take any theology classes. . .Ever!
9) I have cheated on a girlfriend in the past and there is no ex-cuse for that bar none.(I'm Sorry Nicole)
10) I did take money from an account that my mother and I had set up for the property tax on my house without consulting her and I have paid the price for that and did in fact repay her/ the account although in her eyes I can never repay it.
11) Finally the one that is the most embarrasing to me but probably has caused me to be as homophobic as I have been, I allowed a gay man to grab and fondle my penis because I was promised that I was going to get a shot at 4 girls at the same time at a motel party (which never happened cause I was suckered,Thanx, Rose)
So again I tell you all I'm sorry for liyng to you and I'm truly sorry that I set such weak foundations to a relationship with a woman who I loved so dearly but never actually Deserved
If only I could go back in time and start it all over again I would But as you know hind sight is always 20/20.
In my heart I hope that one day I am Blessed with Dalia's forgiveness and possibly friendship, but in my head I know that it is unlikely that she will ever bless me with a look from her wonderful and loving eyes again
From the bottom of my heart I'm truly sorry to you all
James R. Becerra
2007-06-23
18:20:11
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7 answers
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asked by
Rayman
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