Entertainment & Music - 1 December 2007

Being a single mother, I wanted to do everything perfectly when it came to raising my son. One day, he came to me with the age-old question...."Mom, where did I come from?" Since I considered myself a fairly hip, enlightened woman, I immediately stopped what I was doing and sat down with my six-year-old child to begin the oh-so important explanation about the birds and the bees. I navigated, fairly cleverly I thought, through the basics, explaining what I believed a six-year old would understand. He listened intently, his eyes never leaving my face, never once interrupting me and seemingly very interested in what I had to say.

I was feeling quite proud of myself, feeling as though I had met and managed a milestone in the "motherhood" department. My pleasure with my success was short-lived, however, when my son looked directly at me, his head cocked slightly to one side and said, "No, mom not sex. I mean like Lisa came from Pensacola, where did I come from?"

You just never really know what is going on in their little minds, do you?

2007-12-01 21:04:22 · 18 answers · asked by ♥Scottish♥Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ♥Fairy♥ 7 in Jokes & Riddles

...would you most want to meet?

2007-12-01 21:02:28 · 16 answers · asked by Skatermomof5 7 in Polls & Surveys

A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first," she said. "What does your mother do all day?"

Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor."

"That's wonderful. How about you, Amie?"

Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman."

"Thank you, Amie," said the teacher. "What about your father, Billy?"

Billy proudly stood up and announced, "My daddy murders people, steals from them, and drinks."

The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography. Later that day she went to Billy's house and rang the bell. Billy's father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and asked if there might be some logical explanation.

Billy's father said, "I'm actually an attorney. But how can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?

2007-12-01 21:00:38 · 18 answers · asked by ♥Scottish♥Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ♥Fairy♥ 7 in Jokes & Riddles

2007-12-01 20:58:22 · 13 answers · asked by Patrick E 6 in Polls & Surveys

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.

His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"

"But why?" asks the man.

"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.

2007-12-01 20:58:21 · 21 answers · asked by ♥Scottish♥Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ♥Fairy♥ 7 in Jokes & Riddles

i'm talking about bands that rely on slow tempos and a strong lead vocalist who can make a song sound original. most notably chris cornell of soundgarden or layne staley of alice in chains. are there any newer bands that you know that sound like this? i'm not talking about that crazy metal stuff. so please...no lamb of god..no sepultra...none of that please. just something that is easy listening but with a hard edge to it.

2007-12-01 20:53:53 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Rock and Pop

Child abuse, alcoholism, shootings, suicide attempts, sex, drugs, death, birth, alzheimers, scandal! It really is a wonderful life isn't it?

2007-12-01 20:52:28 · 6 answers · asked by Patrick E 6 in Polls & Surveys

I really want to sell it to Disney. but they never respond to me. (im being serious too) lol.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=CFyiaC9Zo-c

If this song was gonna in a disney movie, what would the scene be?

or you can just rate the song. However you'd like to play it,

2007-12-01 20:51:15 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

...where is your oatmeal ?

2007-12-01 20:47:07 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

...for a bite from a vampire? Or is the idea new to you? And are you still waiting?

2007-12-01 20:46:04 · 13 answers · asked by Skatermomof5 7 in Polls & Surveys

2007-12-01 20:45:46 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Can anyone tell me what the name of the movie is with the man in it singing:

"Fat man in a liiiitttllleee cooat"

ohhh i can't remember and it's killing me!

2007-12-01 20:44:07 · 7 answers · asked by SimpleMo 3 in Movies

That you peed on your TV and DVD player... (had to buy new ones)
Then one time you peed on all the clothes you owned in your closet?

Because honestly you thought you were in the bathroom?

2007-12-01 20:43:38 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

These were actual hospital patient reports...enjoy!

1. The patient refused autopsy.

2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

6. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.

7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

12. She is numb from her toes down.

2007-12-01 20:41:29 · 15 answers · asked by ♥Scottish♥Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ♥Fairy♥ 7 in Jokes & Riddles

...your favorite dream? Awake or asleep?

2007-12-01 20:40:04 · 19 answers · asked by Skatermomof5 7 in Polls & Surveys

A doctor walks into the room and tells his patient, "I have some bad news and some very bad news."

The patient, resigned to his fate, says, "Well, might as well give me the bad news first."

"The lab called with your test results," the doctor began. "Unfortuanately, you've got a rare condition and they said you have 24 hours to live."

"24 Hours!?" exclaimed the patient. "Thats terrible! What could be worse than that? What's the very bad news?"

"I've been trying to reach you since yesterday."

2007-12-01 20:39:15 · 17 answers · asked by ♥Scottish♥Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ♥Fairy♥ 7 in Jokes & Riddles

THE GOLDEN COMPASS,
a new movie targeted at children, will be released
December 7, 2007. This movie is based on a the first book of a trilogy
by atheist Philip Pullman. In the final book a boy and girl kill God
so they can do as they please. Pullman left little doubt about his
intentions when he said in a 2003 interview that "MY BOOKS ARE ABOUT
KILLING GOD."
The movie is a watered down version of the first book and is designed
to be very attractive in the hope unsuspecting parents will take their
children to see the the movie and that the children will want the
books for Christmas.
The movie has a well known cast, including Nicole Kidman, Kevin Bacon,
and Sam Elliott. It will probably be advertised extensively, so it is
crucial that we get the word out to warn people to avoid this movie.

2007-12-01 20:36:59 · 17 answers · asked by sO*happy 5 in Movies

= (

2007-12-01 20:33:57 · 44 answers · asked by ↓ ♥мǝow♥ ↑ 6 in Polls & Surveys

...that would make you smile at this very moment?

2007-12-01 20:32:25 · 42 answers · asked by Skatermomof5 7 in Polls & Surveys

poem or quote

mine is

everything is alright in the end.. and if it is not alright it is not the end

2007-12-01 20:32:20 · 11 answers · asked by tassiequartz 6 in Polls & Surveys

2007-12-01 20:30:56 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

...reach through the computer screen and touch your face, what would it tell me about your mood right now?

2007-12-01 20:30:05 · 24 answers · asked by Skatermomof5 7 in Polls & Surveys

After three crop failures in a row farmer Jones could not pay his loan at the bank. "Give me one more chance he pleaded. Don't take my farm, we'll be broke and homeless."

The bank manager comes up with an idea. "OK, one more chance but not with crops. No one fails at pig farming so we'll finance the purchase of five sows to start you off. Your neighbor down the road has a boar pig and you'll have to take your sows to him so the boar can service them. In a few months you should have a bunch of little piglets all ready for market.

Farmer Jones collects the five sows, loads them into his pickup truck, drives to his neighbor and unloads the five sows into the boar's pen. They then go back to the farm house and have a couple of beers.

When enough time has passed they go back to the boar's pen and load five happy sows into the pickup. Farmer Jones asks, "What if it didn't take?"

"That never happens with my boar," replies the neighbor.

"But how can I tell for sure?"

"Look, tomorrow morning observe your sows. If they're rolling in the mud, it took, if they're on the grass, call me."

The following morning farmer Jones observed his sows strolling on the grass. He calls his neighbor who instructs him to bring them back. He rounds them up, loads them into the pickup and drives to the boar's pen where the whole process is repeated.

Unlucky farmer Jones has to load them in the pickup and take them back four times. On the fifth morning he is so worried he can't look. He stalls for half an hour then asks his wife to look. "I hope they're not on the grass, dear."

"Well they're not," says his wife.

"Oh finally, then they're rolling in the mud!" exclaimed the farmer.

"No..."

"Well what are those fool sows doing?

"Well, four are trying to climb into the pickup and the fifth managed to climb into the cab and is trying to honk the horn!!!"

2007-12-01 20:29:07 · 21 answers · asked by ♥Scottish♥Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ♥Fairy♥ 7 in Jokes & Riddles

Best answer 10 points!

2007-12-01 20:26:34 · 16 answers · asked by ↓ ♥мǝow♥ ↑ 6 in Polls & Surveys

...what would be your wish tonite?

2007-12-01 20:24:40 · 21 answers · asked by Skatermomof5 7 in Polls & Surveys

look outside...and you will see me naked...

2007-12-01 20:22:53 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

So I was trying to impress a girl the other day with my chinese throwing stars.... and I was trying to throw all 5 of them into the tree... well my first one missed the tree and jammed it's self into the neck of my neighbors cat (it ran off somewhere and I haven't seen it at all today).
My second star I threw missed completely and stuck into my other neighbors dog rib cage....
Now she thinks I'm an idiot... what do you think?

2007-12-01 20:20:46 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-12-01 20:20:19 · 6 answers · asked by Nicole Nathalie Laranang 1 in Celebrities

2007-12-01 20:19:54 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

A man was blissfully driving along the highway, when he saw the Easter Bunny hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the Bunny, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of his car and was hit. The basket of eggs went flying all over the place.

The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road, and got out to see what had become of the Bunny carrying the basket. Much to his dismay, the colorful Bunny was dead. The driver felt guilty and began to cry.

A woman driving down the same highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong.

"I feel terrible," he explained, "I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny and killed it. There may not be an Easter because of me. What should I do?"

The woman told the man not to worry. She knew exactly what to do. She went to her car trunk, and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead Bunny, and sprayed the entire contents of the can onto the little furry animal.

Miraculously the Easter Bunny came to back life, jumped up, picked up the spilled eggs and candy, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped on down the road. 50 yards away the Easter Bunny stopped, turned around, waved and hopped on down the road another 50 yards, turned, waved, hopped another 50 yards and waved again!

The man was astonished. He said to the woman, "What in heaven's name is in your spray can? What was it that you sprayed on the Easter Bunny?" The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said: "Hair spray. Restores life to dead hair. Adds permanent wave."

2007-12-01 20:17:02 · 18 answers · asked by ♥Scottish♥Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ♥Fairy♥ 7 in Jokes & Riddles