I live in a log cabin in Cypress Gardens, Florida, right at the corner of Elm and Maple Streets, and have been thinking about a trip to South America. I want to branch out a little more. I am not whole without a wife, and would like to visit the Virgin Forest before they run out. (Hey, when you spruce me up, I’m not so bad.)
But dreaming about it while sitting in my Barcalounger listening to the Oak Ridge Boys on my Kenwood stereo while knocking ash out of my pipe is one thing, actually boarding a ship to do it is another. You know that old chestnut about “be careful what you wish for.”
I thought I would go because my travel agent claims he can get cheap tickets in Laurel, MD, but I worry that a shady deal could lead to some knotty problems. I worry about even being allowed to board, or that I might be made to walk the plank if they find out the price I paid. Wouldn’t you worry? But with a price that good, how hard would you examine the details. Of course, if things went bad, I could sue Mac.
Besides that, I have a cornucopia of other reasons to doubt embarking on such a trip. I am not that tough (you won’t find any people like Old Hickory in my family tree). Lumbering around on a barque for weeks might be difficult, since I am not as limber as I used to be. I would enjoy the beaches at the island stops, but I would still pine for the rest of the Woods family. (If I had a dog, would I be as lonely?) I think I might be barking up the wrong tree.
So, what would you do? Embark, or ax the idea.
2007-09-16
02:52:38
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10 answers
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asked by
ghouly05
7
in
Words & Wordplay