I'm making a fanfiction of the book Twilight, and I just started. I would appreciate advice and tips.
Please rate the beginning (so far) on a scale of one to ten :)
Comments/Criticism appreciated!
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“Really, Charlie,” I struggled to hide my impatience, “OK, Dad. I honestly think I can handle picking up a few things at a small town grocery store.”
This was getting annoying; only would Charlie, the chief officer in this undersized water Hell hole, worry about his daughter in a grocery store that somehow managed to profit enough money out of the tiny population to stay open.
“Dad, its Forks, for God’s sakes. I walked… Yes… No… Okay, Char- I mean Dad. I’ll be home by six.” I snapped the phone shut, cutting off his new string of lectures.
My watch struck 4:23.
So I have to admit, I was being a little too harsh on Charlie. It was only my first (full) day in Forks and he was trying so hard to get me settled in and comfortable. As if that wasn’t enough stress -
2007-12-07
10:30:32
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4 answers
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Anonymous