All categories - 17 October 2007

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."
"Listen, don't waste time," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Target. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs five pounds...... a lot quicker and better than a doctor".
So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Target. He
deposits five dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the Urine sample.
He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer
ejects a printout:
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy
activity. It will improve in two weeks".
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.
Jack hurries back to Target, eager to check what will happen. He deposits five pounds, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get
better....and thank you for shopping at Target.

2007-10-17 22:35:55 · 4 answers · asked by jake5282 2 in Jokes & Riddles

Surely if the Bible were inspired by God there would be no contradictions, no misrepresentations and no mistakes in translation. Surely God inspired people would translate perfectly, and consistently!

It suggests that Godly inspiration is fallible and untrustworthy otherwise.

2007-10-17 22:35:52 · 25 answers · asked by penster_x 4 in Religion & Spirituality

if no, why should his birth be Celebrated in that date/month.
who set the month of December 25 as the time Christ was born.

2007-10-17 22:35:49 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Christmas

2007-10-17 22:35:38 · 5 answers · asked by Chocolate Strawberries. 4 in Respiratory Diseases

and that the fate of the universe rests in my hands?

2007-10-17 22:35:36 · 38 answers · asked by Patrick E 6 in Polls & Surveys

i need to know this..


pls

2007-10-17 22:35:35 · 2 answers · asked by rHaiN 1 in Physics

answer expected from people who experienced and would like to know which would be the well maintained house boat you would suggest .

2007-10-17 22:35:10 · 4 answers · asked by don 2 in Cruise Travel

2007-10-17 22:35:09 · 9 answers · asked by lovely 2 in PC

2007-10-17 22:35:01 · 16 answers · asked by Zach-7 3 in Polls & Surveys

Im feeling good.

2007-10-17 22:34:57 · 22 answers · asked by **** 7 in Trying to Conceive

I have a MSI MS-6547 1.0 motherboard.

2007-10-17 22:34:50 · 2 answers · asked by Mark 2 in Desktops

530 A.M. here

2007-10-17 22:34:45 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

my friend just got back from california with three sixes on his
arm does that mean he is going to hell now no matter what
he does he does go to church i dont know what good that would do but he goes every sunday

2007-10-17 22:33:59 · 18 answers · asked by mike r 1 in Religion & Spirituality

2007-10-17 22:33:15 · 4 answers · asked by Prof Fruitcake 6 in Religion & Spirituality

2007-10-17 22:33:14 · 5 answers · asked by KEVIN Z 1 in United States

Would someone please tell me what Grits are and how they are used in cuisine?

2007-10-17 22:32:27 · 15 answers · asked by Kay P 3 in Ethnic Cuisine

2007-10-17 22:32:19 · 11 answers · asked by tweety w 1 in Skin Conditions

If technolgy evolved where a parent would know their child would grow up gay, would/could that increase the number of abortions, for that specific reason?

So, if this happens, will gay leaders oppose abortion?

Could this turn into warfare between gay activists and abortion activists? Hmmmmmm....

2007-10-17 22:32:01 · 10 answers · asked by ? 7 in Other - Politics & Government

Could I have the price in 'todays' money!

Thanks :)

2007-10-17 22:31:56 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Chevrolet

2007-10-17 22:31:36 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

I believe this....
Allies) USA, Europe, Australia, Turkey, Japan (for what its worth)
Enemies) Russia, China, Iran, Pakistan, Egypt..ect

2007-10-17 22:31:33 · 21 answers · asked by NBA Blazer #7 2 in Military

Do you think you'll ever meet him/her outside a dream? Why or why not?

2007-10-17 22:31:31 · 12 answers · asked by LodiTX 6 in Philosophy

2007-10-17 22:30:42 · 5 answers · asked by urlastdesire 2 in Friends

2007-10-17 22:30:26 · 43 answers · asked by kris c 5 in Polls & Surveys

If,
1 Y (gamma photon) = e- + e+ (pair production)

then why not e- + e- = 1 gamma photon instead of 2 ? (annihilation)

2007-10-17 22:30:24 · 2 answers · asked by Rick 2 in Physics

2007-10-17 22:30:18 · 11 answers · asked by gary L 4 in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-17 22:29:45 · 7 answers · asked by jobees 6 in Polls & Surveys

2007-10-17 22:29:41 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Government

I have just read this on the BBC news website.I hadn't heard about it on tv.Just where the heck are British kids getting guns from?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/south_yorkshire/7050288.stm

2007-10-17 22:29:36 · 10 answers · asked by CMH 6 in Media & Journalism