All categories - 22 August 2007

There was a tradesman, a painter called Jock, who was very interested in making a penny when he could, so he often would thin down paint to make it go a wee bit further.

As it happened, he got away with this for some time.

A local church decided to do a big restoration job on the painting of one of their biggest churches. Jock put in a bid. Because his price was so low, he got the job. And so he set to erecting the trestles and setting up the planks, and buying the paint and, yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it down.

Well, Jock was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly completed when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder, and the sky opened, the rain poured down, washing the thinned paint from al over the church and knocking Jock clear off the scaffolding to land on the lawn, among the gravestones, surrounded by telltale puddles of the thinned and useless paint.
Jock was no fool. He knew this was a judgement from the Almighty, so he got on his knees and cried "Oh, God! Forgive me! What should I do?"
And from the thunder, a mighty voice spoke:
"Repaint! Repaint! and thin no more!"

2007-08-22 09:36:33 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

any suggestions?

2007-08-22 09:36:32 · 10 answers · asked by Lorrin D 1 in Other - Skin & Body

2007-08-22 09:36:24 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Destinations

2007-08-22 09:36:19 · 16 answers · asked by lmw 1 in Cooking & Recipes

the funniest gets the points

2007-08-22 09:36:17 · 4 answers · asked by Nels 7 in Polls & Surveys

im 15 years old mother passed currently staying in a foster home...i live in tx i am trying to go by my aunt in chicago..but they said in chicago they have to go threw so much like she has to become a foster parent which takes up 2 a year personaly i really dont want to stay here for a year.i feel i am wasteing my teenage years and it hurts i just want to be by my family.can someone please help me....anyone have some kind of information...and if this help she said shes willing to adopt me

2007-08-22 09:36:16 · 1 answers · asked by skippy_hippy1 1 in Other - Family & Relationships

...That Ziggy and Liam have become the most irritating, knowall (they clearly knownothing in the real world) arrogant pair of gits?

2007-08-22 09:36:12 · 15 answers · asked by bumbleboi 6 in Reality Television

She dug the plot on Monday, the soil was rich and fine
But she forgot to put the dinner on, so out we went to dine.

She planted roses Tuesday, she says they are a must.
They really were quite lovely, but she forgot to dust.

On Wednesday it was daisies they opened with the sun,
All pinks and whites and yellows, but the laundry wasn't done.

The poppies came on Thursday all bright and cherry red,
I guess she really was engrossed, she never made the bed.

It was violets here on Friday in colours she adores,
It never bothered her at all, the dirt upon our floors.

Saturday I hired a maid, I'd not admit defeat,
She can garden all she wants now and the house will still be neat

It's nearly lunchtime Sunday I cannot find the maid,
Oh I don't believe it. She's out there alongside my wife with her own spade!

2007-08-22 09:36:10 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Jokes & Riddles

*NOTE* If you got nothing nice or useful to say, please refrain from answering this question. Thank you :)

He says, "Truly, Truly I say to you. Before Abraham was born, I am..."

Is He saying that He existed well before Abraham, well before anyone else? If so, how does that work because it seems very confusing to me...

2007-08-22 09:36:10 · 29 answers · asked by Buттerfℓyεїз 4 in Religion & Spirituality

then burn out like yesterdays trash?

2007-08-22 09:36:08 · 4 answers · asked by Ron B. 7 in Polls & Surveys

My circle is planning a croning ceremony for me, and I am really excited. Has anyone had theirs, and if so, what was it like? Did you take on another name? Do you have any advice about how to prepare myself? Thanks and BB.

2007-08-22 09:36:04 · 10 answers · asked by lily moon 2 in Religion & Spirituality

I get booted from my yahoo messenger, but only when I am using myspace IM and chat. Is this causing me to get booted, what can I do to fix it? Why does no one answer my question.

2007-08-22 09:35:58 · 14 answers · asked by Rosie aka Rosie 6 in Other - Computers

???

2007-08-22 09:35:54 · 28 answers · asked by rogue chedder 4 in Fashion & Accessories

2007-08-22 09:35:49 · 4 answers · asked by betafishj 1 in Fishing

2007-08-22 09:35:46 · 42 answers · asked by Athena 6 in Polls & Surveys

2007-08-22 09:35:41 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

I see alot of job offering from EDS for help desk and curious what is the starting rate?

2007-08-22 09:35:40 · 1 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Careers & Employment

2007-08-22 09:35:38 · 22 answers · asked by ♥Doll 6 in Polls & Surveys

It seems to me that if some intelligence really was responsible for the creation of everything, more logic would have gone into it. Humans cannot subsist on a diet too heavy in one type of food and too light in another. Diabetics cannot have complex sugars in excess, for example, and vegans must take vitamin supplements or risk a whole host of diseases.

So it seems to me that there is no real order to the way of things. Humans may have gotten the larger brains and ability to reason, but we got short-changed in the diet department. If we eat too much of one thing, we get fat; too little of another, we risk disease; and there are some things that can kill us outright.

If there is a benevolent force in the universe that wants us to be happy, why can't we eat what we like with no ill effects? And if this force doesn't necessarily want us to be happy, why should I care what it thinks?

2007-08-22 09:35:37 · 16 answers · asked by whtknt 4 in Religion & Spirituality

2007-08-22 09:35:34 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Vegetarian & Vegan

2007-08-22 09:35:29 · 21 answers · asked by ♥ 4 in Polls & Surveys

1 being terrible
10 being great

2007-08-22 09:35:29 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

Yesterday I was diagnosed with a lung infection cause by severe asthma. Basically like pneumonia. They prescribed an antibiotic and an inhaled steroid. Am I contagious to my children and others?

2007-08-22 09:35:24 · 5 answers · asked by . 4 in Respiratory Diseases

so if you've read any of my other questions then you have heard of my friend.
she shoplifted over $100 and they said they'd put the letter in the mail. she hasn't gotten the letter yet. its been a couple of days.. so its not that late..

BUT she needs to know how long it will take. 1 to get the letter. 2. to go to court. and 3. to finish community service. because she got offered a job and she told them that it would be a little bit of time before she could accept it but they said it would be OK in like a month or two..

how long until this is over???

2007-08-22 09:35:12 · 2 answers · asked by betsy6075 2 in Community Service

2007-08-22 09:35:12 · 14 answers · asked by METALLICA7 1 in Polls & Surveys

MY FREIND told me about it but i cant find anything on the web about it. he said TANK makes them. does anyone know of websites of dealers or the maker itself that has more information about this mini motorcycle.

2007-08-22 09:34:57 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Motorcycles

I was thinking of flying from Miami to Antigua for my honeymoon. Has anyone ever been there or have any thoughts? I was also just wondering if anyone had any other suggestions for honeymoons, either inside or outside of the U.S. I mainly want to stay around the ocean, either on a cruise or some sort of island or resort. Thanks!

2007-08-22 09:34:53 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Caribbean

I'm not sure how i feel about this.....but KNOW THIS.....

THERE IS ONLY ONE ORGINAL!

2007-08-22 09:34:43 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

most of us laymen don't fully understand (or hope to) modern scientific theorems and principles in all their complexity. at some point we just "believe" a smart nobel laureate somewhere to have figured it out right. why not invest the same faith and effort in the teachings of some of our modern day religious/spiritual gurus who claim self-realization? why such a big deal about the scientific approach when its just a question of "faith" anyways?

2007-08-22 09:34:25 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality

You better. You might have a headlight go out soon!

2007-08-22 09:34:19 · 5 answers · asked by Ron B. 7 in Polls & Surveys