Two years stable on meds, I can count on two hands the number of times I've even felt depressed and not just sad or moody.
Had a good day today, fun at church, fed well on the Word, got home and sat down at the computer, and from nowhere it hits - my pill bottles seem more like cookie jars, especially those two. One pill out of either bottle lays me out cold. Empty both bottles and ... yeah.
Wrote in my journal, emailed a friend, prayed, used ALL my DBT and positive coping skills, and the cookie jars are still there. Just one, one won't hurt. But you can't eat just one, they're so goooood, just one more and one more and one more until they're gone and I'm as empty as the cookie jar.
I can't get sick again now. He needs me. He won't be able to take it if I get sick, he's had enough. He's had too much. I can't tell him.
Too late to call pastor, can't tell hubby, losing ground and can't find anything to grasp onto. This can't be happening.
Savvy?
2007-07-11
17:38:00
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8 answers
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asked by
mrscjr
3
in
Mental Health