> MAKING A BABY...
>
> There is not one dirty word in it, and it is funny.
>
> The Smiths were unable to conceive children and
> decided to use a surrogate father to start their family.
>
> On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith
> kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now;
> The man should be here soon."
>
> Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby
photographer
> happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
>
> Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to...''
>
> Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in,
> embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."
>
> "Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well,
> that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?"
>
> "Well that's what my husband and I had hoped.
> Please come in and have a seat"
>
> After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where
> do we start?"
>
> "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the
> bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple
> on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is
> fun. You can really spread out there."
>
> "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't
> work out for Harry and me!"
> "Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one
> every time. But if we try several different
> positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm
> sure you'll be pleased with the results."
>
> "My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith.
>
> "Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his
> time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes,
> but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."
>
> "Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.
>
> The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled
> out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was
> done on the top of a bus," he said.
>
> "Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
>
> "And these twins turned out exceptionally well -
> when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."
>
> "She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
>
> "Yes, I'm afraid so I finally had to take her to
> the park to get the job done right. People were
> crowding around four and five deep to get a good look."
>
> "Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes
> wide with amazement.
>
> "Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more
> than three hours, too.
>
> The mother was constantly squealing and yelling -
> I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached
> I had to rush my shots.
>
> Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my
> equipment, I just had to pack it all in."
>
> Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they
> actually chewed on your, uh...equipment? "
>
> "It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready,
> I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away."
>
> "Tripod?"
>
> "Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my
> Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the
> hand very long."
>
> Mrs. Smith fainted..... ....
>
2007-06-01
22:30:52
·
14 answers
·
asked by
Anonymous
in
Jokes & Riddles