My mother has always taken her anger and bitterness out on me cos my dad left left us when I was 5. She was and is a cold, hard woman who showed me very little love and affection as I grew up, still doesn't. Well, I'm now 42, have had 4 serious relationships, the last one ending recently but I seem to keep behaving in the same way, when the going is good in a relationship, I push my partner away cos I need them to constantly reassure me that they love me, then when they get tired of being hurt by me, and leave,I'm heartbroken. I had truly found my soulmate in my last partner, and there may be a small chance that in time we could give it another chance, but I don't think I know how love properly.I tried to explain but the words are hard to find. I don't think I deserve to be loved cos my mother spent years telling me that I didn't deserve love.It's a horrible cycle, and I can't take the pain anymore. I want to uproot,move To Cornwall, find peace in my surroundings. What else can I do
2007-03-10
01:21:22
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18 answers
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asked by
Mrs Squarepants
1
in
Psychology