All categories - 10 March 2007

-Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let her sleep.

-I still miss my ex. But my aim is getting better.

-I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.

-What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

-If you run out of sick days, call in dead.

-Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids.

-Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way myself).

-Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

-One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

-The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

-Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

-Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

-I live on a one-way dead-end street.

-I played a blank tape on full volume. The mime who lives next door complained.

-When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute.

-If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything!

-You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

-If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.

-The tongue weighs practically nothing, But so few people can hold it.

-Just remember . . . if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

-When you're swimming in the creek, and an eel bites your cheek, that's a moray!

-I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

-I don't eat snails... I prefer FAST food!

-Most of us can keep a secret. It's the people we tell it to who can't!

-If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

-I don't repeat gossip, so listen carefully.

-One of life's mysteries is how a 2 pound box of candy can make a woman gain 5 lbs.

-The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.

-A friend of mine confused her valium with her birth control pills. She had 14 kids, but she doesn't really care.

-I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are: eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day.

-I know what Victoria's Secret is. The secret is that nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff.

-She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower.

-Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after!

-If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.

-I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.

-Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.

-You know when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, you have a cat?" Wouldn't you like to say, "No, it's for my company!"

-If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

-Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

-In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.

-If you drink, don't park; accidents cause people.

2007-03-10 20:14:18 · 16 answers · asked by Todd 2 in Jokes & Riddles

2007-03-10 20:14:12 · 20 answers · asked by Gracie 1 in Languages

2007-03-10 20:14:12 · 18 answers · asked by Obsidian © 5 in Polls & Surveys

I have a gay friend and I was wondering if anyone could give me any tips to letting him know I want to have sex with him.

2007-03-10 20:14:09 · 13 answers · asked by Josh L 2 in Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender

2007-03-10 20:14:08 · 15 answers · asked by Jarod R 4 in Government

2007-03-10 20:14:08 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Physics

They're great with eggs and good for you too

2007-03-10 20:13:57 · 8 answers · asked by Johnny Walker 5 in Polls & Surveys

2007-03-10 20:13:50 · 18 answers · asked by LostMyMind 3 in Tattoos

what ever it is

2007-03-10 20:13:47 · 2 answers · asked by ranju 2 in Friends

my bf broke up with me, and he says theres a lot of stuff on his mind. and hes confused. i asked him wat and hes like u wont understand, i don't think..i told him to tell me anyways and he won't tell.i know its been bugging him for awhile though because he has been acting different. what should i say to him? to make him tell me lol?

2007-03-10 20:13:40 · 5 answers · asked by amy 1 in Singles & Dating

Doesn't the fact that atheist liberals are pro-abortion prove that they hate babies? What other reason could they possibly have to disagree with the Bible on this issue?

Sure, they claim to care about the freedom of mothers to have a say over their bodies, but isn't that really just a ruse? Their anti-baby agenda is just obvious in everything they say!

2007-03-10 20:13:30 · 24 answers · asked by God, Not Gravity! 1 in Religion & Spirituality

That God created everything and we evolved from the point that he created us?

2007-03-10 20:13:15 · 16 answers · asked by Direktor 5 in Religion & Spirituality

I have...I mean..USED to have this friend (she wasn't really a friend, but she'd follow me around), and she has serious issues. Shes 13 and she thinks this 8 year old little kid is HOT. Not cute, but HOT. She even asked if she'll be able to marry the kid when they grow up. She'll be in college, and he'll probably be a freshman in high school. She is obsessive over him...Now when I think about it, it's creepy. Is it just me, or is she crazy?

*She doesn't like him as a little boy (like a brother). Once I asked her (jokingly) who she'd rather have physical contact with, and she asked if it could be someone younger...I think it's the little kid.

2007-03-10 20:13:13 · 10 answers · asked by weirdojhak 1 in Psychology

this is a government scheme to enable the elderly home owners to upgrade their central heating system free of charge

2007-03-10 20:13:02 · 1 answers · asked by janmitchell54@btinternet.com 1 in Community Service

My Laptop is Dell inspron 1000. Operating system is xp home edition.

2007-03-10 20:12:58 · 2 answers · asked by essamhasby 2 in Software

I know my fun bags would more than qualify for top honors!
How many other Y!A gals think they have what it takes to join in the fun?

2007-03-10 20:12:54 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

2007-03-10 20:12:53 · 1 answers · asked by Anonymous in Polls & Surveys

I can't watch a movie without hearing Gods name missused (Exept Passion of the Christ), even the radio dj's missuse His mighty name.

2007-03-10 20:12:49 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Religion & Spirituality

if a girl likes a guy from school....but its the shallow kind of crush and they havnt spoke to each other yet....but the guy doesnt show much interest ....how fast do girls move on?

2007-03-10 20:12:41 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.

To prove their theory, they fed one hundred men twelve pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn't drive.

2007-03-10 20:12:41 · 5 answers · asked by conan 4 in Polls & Surveys

how can i have an irish boyfriend? i mean without going to Ireland.? pls...

2007-03-10 20:12:26 · 7 answers · asked by dong ai rui 2 in Other - Ireland

I need the awnser please.

2007-03-10 20:12:24 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Military

This print is one of three commisioned by Barclaycard for their 21st anniversary, it is still in the original packaging and has never been hung on wall etc. Lokk forward to hearing from anyone who has any knowledge of these.

2007-03-10 20:12:18 · 1 answers · asked by Anonymous in Drawing & Illustration

2007-03-10 20:12:11 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Computers

How do you sell yoru trophys on Millsberry? I won the home run derby one...but I only see it when I click on My Place...So how do I sell it???

2007-03-10 20:12:11 · 4 answers · asked by HushYourFuss 3 in Other - Games & Recreation

i am computer illeterate i don't know where the tools and internet options are. please i need help with details

2007-03-10 20:12:07 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Internet

2007-03-10 20:12:02 · 6 answers · asked by ____ 5 in Polls & Surveys