My Problem is this:
When I was in primary school I fell in love with someone called Skye
But then when it came too high school, he got sent to a private all boy's school far away and I got sent to the local comprehensive.
I thought I'd NEVER see him EVER again and despaired.
Around about the same time my Grandmother of whom I was VERY close to died. She practically raised me.My mother never seemed to bother with me. However I never noticed this neglect (by my mother)until my Grandma died.
I noticed that I was very unsupported by my mother and in general uncared for. Sometimes she was also emotionally abusive towards me--sometimes she could be so nasty she'd make me cry.
Because of all these things(the death of my Grandma, the loss of Ian and also the uncaring attituse at home) I began to feel very depressed.
Then I made a TERRIBLE mistake:
Somedays I felt so low I found it almost impossible to think about the future and sometimes couldn't find the will-power to get up in the mornings.I started to refuse to go to school asn I felt so low and i couldn't bring myself to/didn't know how to move on from Skye...and my Grandma....didn't want a life..if it was going to be without them...didn't see the point. I missed Ian so so much and could not come to terms with the fact that one of the people of whom I loved more tan anyone in the world...had vanished from my life FOREVER! It was like a nightmare! I couldn't believe that I'd probably never see him ever again/be with him.
I'd been bullied VERY VERY badly at the primary school i went to (before I moved to the one Skye was at)which also made me quite nervous of people and scared of school too.However I recieved no help, no counselling or anything(do you think this was neglect?)
I refused to go to High school on-and-off for the first three years by which time I was REALLY REALLY very behind in my work.I then refused to go to school altoghether as I couldn't cope any more with my life. I was SEVERELY depressed and wasn't thinking logically. I ended up having 5 measly hours of home tuition per week, for the next two years which should have been spent in school. Unsurprisingly I then failed all my GCSEs (apart from one, where I got a 'C' in English)I felt so depressed. I then have stayed at home doing nothing for the past two years as I have felt too embarrassed to face the world.
However this is my problem(of which I really need your advice on):
I now want to go to college
But my problem is I still REALLY really love Skye.
the thing is I did have brief contact with him a few years ago and recieved comformation that BACK THEN he liked me.But he didn't know about me missing school back then. you see I sent him a valentine's card saying 'I think you're the most lovely person in the universe and always will no matter what!
I now want??/need to go to college. However I have just found out thet the college I wanted to attend is right next door to the top educational sixth form which Skye goes to. If I go there then I will definantely bump into him…but the thing is he will NEVER EVER be interested in me now (even if he used to be when I was ok).how on earth canI explain to him WHY I refused to go to school? He’s going to think I am a bad person .
But the thing is he's studyiwng 'A' levels at a top sixth form college. And I .....will probably have to go on an Entry level course and learn really basic stuff like how to cook, use public transport etc(basically for absolute dim-wits)
He'll NEVER EVER be interested in me now. He's in a different league to me. He's so clever.but this is killing me. I wish I could be with him more than anything in the world but as soon as he finds out that's it....my dream...dead......finished
Also even if I go to a different college, it's inevitable that i'll bump into him whilst out and about anyway.(I just can’t believe that I DIDN’T THINK ABOUT THIS years ago….i just wasn’t thinking properly) But If I ignore him then he'll think I'm not interested i him, when I am. But if I talk to him he'll not like me anyway when he finds out what I've done. He'll think I;m a terrible person.
The thing is (and I really need your help on this) HOW ON EARTH DO I EXPLAIN TO HIM ABOUT HOW I REFUSED TO GO TO SCHOOL--AND WORST OF ALL WHY? HE'LL THINK I'M A TERRIBLE PERSON WHEN I TELL HIM. HELP!!!!! . I need him to know the truth.my other problem is that when I refused to go to school--s did my sister(only she didn't have a valid reason) she simply wouldn't go just because I was off school and didn't see why she should go either.HOW ON EARTG CAN I EXPLAIN TO HIM HOW MY SISTER IS NOW IN THE SAME SITUATION I'M IN?HE'LL THINK MY FAMILY ARE AWFUL. I AM 18 YEARS old now btw...and am getting severely worried about my future. I love Ian...and don't want to lose him. But Ian will NEVER want to go out with me now ....when he finds out about me refusing to go to school he's going to think I'm a bad person and also when he finds out that I have to go on an entry level course at college...he DEFINATELY won't be interested in me anymore. I can't bear it. HELP!!!!! I love him .....
What should I do about Skye now? Which college should I go to (the one next door to Skye...or a diffferent one? How can i hold on to him, be around him, stand a chance with him etc? PLEASE HELP.....i love him and couldn't bear to lose him. I just don't know what I'm going to do!!!! What should I do about Skye?
THE THING I NEED YOUR ADVICE ON IS THIS: HOW ON EARTH DO I TELL HIM ABOUT HOW I REFUSED TO GO TO SCHOOL? ALSO.................HOW DO I EXPLAIN WHY?PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT SHOULD I SAY? HOW DO I EXPLAIN????????
2006-09-30
12:51:26
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22 answers
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asked by
Anonymous
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Other - Family & Relationships