My Problem is this:
When I was in primary school I fell in love with someone called Skye
But then when it came too high school, he got sent to a private all boy's school far away and I got sent to the local comprehensive.
I thought I'd NEVER see him EVER again and despaired.
Around about the same time my Grandmother of whom I was VERY close to died. She practically raised me.My mother never seemed to bother with me. However I never noticed this neglect (by my mother)until my Grandma died.
I noticed that I was very unsupported by my mother and in general uncared for. Sometimes she was also emotionally abusive towards me--sometimes she could be so nasty she'd make me cry.
Because of all these things(the death of my Grandma, the loss of Ian and also the uncaring attituse at home) I began to feel very depressed.
Then I made a TERRIBLE mistake:
Somedays I felt so low I found it almost impossible to think about the future and sometimes couldn't find the will-power to get up in the mornings.I started to refuse to go to school asn I felt so low and i couldn't bring myself to/didn't know how to move on from Skye...and my Grandma....didn't want a life..if it was going to be without them...didn't see the point. I missed Ian so so much and could not come to terms with the fact that one of the people of whom I loved more tan anyone in the world...had vanished from my life FOREVER! It was like a nightmare! I couldn't believe that I'd probably never see him ever again/be with him.
I'd been bullied VERY VERY badly at the primary school i went to (before I moved to the one Skye was at)which also made me quite nervous of people and scared of school too.However I recieved no help, no counselling or anything(do you think this was neglect?)
I refused to go to High school on-and-off for the first three years by which time I was REALLY REALLY very behind in my work.I then refused to go to school altoghether as I couldn't cope any more with my life. I was SEVERELY depressed and wasn't thinking logically. I ended up having 5 measly hours of home tuition per week, for the next two years which should have been spent in school. Unsurprisingly I then failed all my GCSEs (apart from one, where I got a 'C' in English)I felt so depressed. I then have stayed at home doing nothing for the past two years as I have felt too embarrassed to face the world.
However this is my problem(of which I really need your advice on):
I now want to go to college
But my problem is I still REALLY really love Skye.
the thing is I did have brief contact with him a few years ago and recieved comformation that BACK THEN he liked me.But he didn't know about me missing school back then. you see I sent him a valentine's card saying 'I think you're the most lovely person in the universe and always will no matter what!
I now want??/need to go to college. However I have just found out thet the college I wanted to attend is right next door to the top educational sixth form which Skye goes to. If I go there then I will definantely bump into him…but the thing is he will NEVER EVER be interested in me now (even if he used to be when I was ok).how on earth canI explain to him WHY I refused to go to school? He’s going to think I am a bad person .
But the thing is he's studyiwng 'A' levels at a top sixth form college. And I .....will probably have to go on an Entry level course and learn really basic stuff like how to cook, use public transport etc(basically for absolute dim-wits)
He'll NEVER EVER be interested in me now. He's in a different league to me. He's so clever.but this is killing me. I wish I could be with him more than anything in the world but as soon as he finds out that's it....my dream...dead......finished
Also even if I go to a different college, it's inevitable that i'll bump into him whilst out and about anyway.(I just can’t believe that I DIDN’T THINK ABOUT THIS years ago….i just wasn’t thinking properly) But If I ignore him then he'll think I'm not interested i him, when I am. But if I talk to him he'll not like me anyway when he finds out what I've done. He'll think I;m a terrible person.
The thing is (and I really need your help on this) HOW ON EARTH DO I EXPLAIN TO HIM ABOUT HOW I REFUSED TO GO TO SCHOOL--AND WORST OF ALL WHY? HE'LL THINK I'M A TERRIBLE PERSON WHEN I TELL HIM. HELP!!!!! . I need him to know the truth.my other problem is that when I refused to go to school--s did my sister(only she didn't have a valid reason) she simply wouldn't go just because I was off school and didn't see why she should go either.HOW ON EARTG CAN I EXPLAIN TO HIM HOW MY SISTER IS NOW IN THE SAME SITUATION I'M IN?HE'LL THINK MY FAMILY ARE AWFUL. I AM 18 YEARS old now btw...and am getting severely worried about my future. I love Ian...and don't want to lose him. But Ian will NEVER want to go out with me now ....when he finds out about me refusing to go to school he's going to think I'm a bad person and also when he finds out that I have to go on an entry level course at college...he DEFINATELY won't be interested in me anymore. I can't bear it. HELP!!!!! I love him .....
What should I do about Skye now? Which college should I go to (the one next door to Skye...or a diffferent one? How can i hold on to him, be around him, stand a chance with him etc? PLEASE HELP.....i love him and couldn't bear to lose him. I just don't know what I'm going to do!!!! What should I do about Skye?
THE THING I NEED YOUR ADVICE ON IS THIS: HOW ON EARTH DO I TELL HIM ABOUT HOW I REFUSED TO GO TO SCHOOL? ALSO.................HOW DO I EXPLAIN WHY?PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT SHOULD I SAY? HOW DO I EXPLAIN????????
2006-09-30 12:51:26 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It's not that he won't like you because you didn't go to school. He won't like you because you clearly talk way too much.
2006-09-30 12:59:56 · answer #1 · answered by shoedogg 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Just explain to him exactly the way you did in this letter and if he cares about you...trust me...he will understand and be sympathetic. The main thing is to try to do the best you can NOW. You cant change the past but you can change the future. Be the top student in your entry level course and go on from there. You should be able to tell him anything and he should accept you as you are. Everyone has hiccups in life and things they wish they could do over but the main thing is to put it behind you and go foreward bravely into the future. Good luck!
2006-09-30 13:00:54 · answer #2 · answered by dragonrider707 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All I'm hearing from you is what you say he's going to think ,,,,,When you don't really know at all what he's going to think about anything ,,,, You are not only doing your thinking ,,,,, you are trying to do his thinking too ,,,,, It doesn't work that way ,,,,, First off are you sure he feels as strongly about you as you feel about him ,,,,, You need to find that out ,,,,, Secondly ,,,, You do need to talk to him some time when you have the time and explain the whole thing to him about this,, that ,, and the other and the why of things ,,,,, And if it turns out that he does have strong feelings for you then he could care less about your sister and what she's done or does ,,,,,You can't be held accountable or responsible for what she does so drop her from the equasion ,,,,, You are letting your imagination run away with you and all you see are worst case scenarios ,,,,,,, Lighten up ,,,, quit trying to do his thinking for him ,,,,, Get his input and think about that ,,,,, If you like him and have a chance to be close to him then go for it ,,,,,, You've spent all this time away from him so why ,,,,, when you have a chance to be close to him ,,, wouldn't you jump on it ,,,,, Stop thinking so much ,,,,, And when you talk to him ,,,,,, give him a chance to talk to ,,, You just might be surprised at what he might say ,,,,, As for your school work and your present standing ,,,,, Well you need to work on that definently ,,,,, but remember this ,,,, You aren't and can't be any good for anyone else until you are good for yourself ,,,,,, You obviously do alot of thinking ,,, Well ,,,,,, Think about what I've just said ,,,,,, Good luck ,,,,,,
2006-09-30 13:40:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to him that you went thru a terrible time and fell into depression, and that it has taken a long time to heal from this. But now you have and want to go to college. Let him know you will be starting with the basics because of the years you missed out on education, but that you're willing to work very hard to achieve your goals. Ask for his support and friendship...if he gives it, then you will have the support and source of strength you're seeking. If he refuses...then you must be a strong young lady on your own, and go for the education and achieving your goals on your own. YOU CAN DO IT!!! I promise you...you will feel so much better about yourself once you commit to catching up then continuing your education
2006-09-30 13:05:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could you please provide a little more detail . . . ? It would really help to answer your question better.
Just kidding . . .
1. Start seeing a counselor.
2. Figure out what your interests in life are and pursue them - at college if they lead there.
3. If you have feelings for Skye, give him a call and ask him out to dinner. Don't worry about what he might think if you don't know what he thinks. If the dinner works out, ask him out again and see if the relationship grows. If it does, fine. If it doesn't, let him go and move on. Don't let Skye determine which school you go to.
2006-09-30 13:01:34 · answer #5 · answered by a_blue_grey_mist 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what is best for YOU. If you run into him, simply tell him the truth. You explained it well here.
Things happen in life and sometimes we lose our way, then we find it again.
If he is your FRIEND or anything more, he WILL understand. If he does NOT understand, he never really cared about you.
YOU BELIEVE IN YOU... HOLD YOUR HEAD HIGH..
There are MANY people that have made worse mistakes.. The good part is you're trying to correct yours!
Good luck, honey!!
2006-10-03 01:25:22 · answer #6 · answered by LittleBitOfSugar 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my... Poor you.. Well i think you don't have to tell him.. Of course if he asks you then you can just tell him... Because of "personal problems"... He might not ask you again :P... I think you can go to whatever college you like even if you can bump on him every single day... And you have to be more confident in yourself... You're not a bad person 'cause at least you're admitting that you did something wrong and you wanna fix it even if it's too late..And for last but not least... Stop caring about what other people say 'cause then you're gonna be a person that you aren't... Be yourself and if he doesn't like it... TOO BAD!
2006-09-30 13:09:13 · answer #7 · answered by mayelaine2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tel him what happened in person or a letter. and about your reservations now. Then pick whatever college you want to go to and apply. Your dreams are all ahead of you.
Remember that we are always hardest on ourselves. He may or maynot understand, but realize he needs time to take all this in and think about it hemself.
You should probably contact a counselor of some sort even a pastor at your church. They can help you through all this as you go.
hugs to you----things will somehow work out.
2006-09-30 13:02:13 · answer #8 · answered by Krys M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
???? Alot of reading. Well I would just tell him that there has been alot of changes in life and at that time you had no support but now have risen to the challenge of getting back into school and doing something with your life. Tell him the truth and the way you talk about him you care for him and if he cares for you as well then he will trully understand.
2006-09-30 12:58:22 · answer #9 · answered by drunken monkey 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
FIRST OF ALL I THINK YOU NEED HELP!!!
stop worrying about this guy and get yor damn life together so what if he is a smart person maybe if you took the time to go to school you will siscover that you are really a smart person your self. if this person really likes you then he will except you and all your imperfections if he doesnt then the hell with him any damn way
2006-09-30 13:00:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seriously need to make an appointment, ( and keep it ) , with a Psychologist) seriously---- to help you work through allllllllll your issues with your dead grandmother, your mother, Syke, your sister, Ian, and allllllllllllllllllllll the confusion with college courses-----------your depression-------------your feelings--- confusion------fear of lose-----insecurities---------------post traumatic stress. Your issues are much to complex to expect anyone on the Internet to help you with. If you haven't made this all up ( to see what response you would receive) seriously HELP YOUR SELF --------....GET PROFESSIONAL COUNSELING ! Good luck to you.... C.J.
2006-09-30 13:27:13 · answer #11 · answered by Brains & Beauty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋