I don't know why, but I've just recently realized that I can't imagine a future beyond one or two days.
I suffer from the usual hopelessness of severely depressed people. But when I was advised by my pdoc to try to think and plan more for the future, I couldn't even force myself to do it. Everything I do, think, and feel assumes that I will be dead within a day, two at the most. This would be OK if I were a New Age "in the moment" type, but I'm not. I'm morbidly depressed and am terrified of dying.
It seemed to my pdoc that the solution would be to train myself to think more about the future and anticipate positive things.
I just can't do it. I literally cannot imagine myself doing even mundane things by the weekend.
To me there simply is no future. It's something I seem to know and so can't think about. It just isn't there.
I don't like it here. I'm afraid to do anything about it because I'm a coward. There is no afterlife, of course. That's not what I'm worried about.
2006-09-20
21:25:34
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8 answers
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asked by
almintaka
4
in
Psychology